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How to cope?

How do I cope emotionally?

  • I am being divorced by my wife who has some emotional issues. I suspect Borderline Personality Disorder. It went from holding hands literally one day to her leaving two days later after I asked her to curb her spending when the bank rang to say the account was overdrawn again. I paid off all her debts and supported her totally. Then came false accusations of domestic violence. I am totally non violent and this whole thing has been very hard to cope with but I will be glad when the hearing for the divorce is over. My problem is that my soon to be ex wife is still running this domestic violence line and she has got people whom I have never met, to swear affadavits relating supposed incidents of violence. I know this hearsay and so won't be admitted but I feel the emotional pain of all this. These people will come to the hearing and hate me because they believe the false accusations of my wife. How do I cope with this emotionally? The irony is that if I were really violent I probably could cope with it better but if I say so myself, I am gentle. I am also distressed by the lengths my wife has gone to including taking irreplaceable photos of my deceased parents from the house and my degrees when she stripped the house while I was at work one day. I want to see the sunshine again. Any techniques to cope with this would be most appreciated.

  • Answer:

    Tough times don't last and the only way from this is through this. Take help of a therapist. Stay Positive.

Ujwala Agawane at Quora Visit the source

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Tread very carefully!! I have been EXACTLY where you are. My EX has BPD and also alleged domestic violence. BPD women are exceedingly good at playing  the poor me card and convincing judges to believe their stories. They are also exceedingly good at guilting you back into their lives. My ex posited DV crimes against me and I had to spend $20,000 on an attorney to defend myself. It was a long and nasty mess and I came out on top. She was still awarded the children after the divorce but could not manage them on her own. That is the one small light at the end of this very dark tunnel. If she does in fact have a BPD then she will be incapable of making it on her own without treatment...ESPECIALLY if there are kids involved and she has to support them and herself. If you stay calm and play your cards right you will land on the right side of things but be prepared for a VERY NASTY ride. As I said BPD women are very good and convincing people to live in their fairytale  worlds but they cannot maintain these relationships they burn ALL their bridges and the truth surfaces sooner or later. The more support she has available to her the longer this process will take. I hope for your sake she has very little. My ex wife has next to no support and this has gone on for over 4 years...partly because I have taken her back. DO NOT MAKE THAT MISTAKE!!

Michael Van Dusen

Do watch some meaningful quiet songs (music), songs which encourage you emotionally to build your confidence in a positive way.

Anonymous

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