Whats the best way to get your wife and mother to get along?

I believe that your wife should make the first move with your help. Its not matter of choice coz a wife is a wife and a mother is a mother. Good communication is the key and try to live away from your mother's house and be independent. I am very close to my in laws and it is a very nice feeling.

You should make their roles very clear. You can love both and respect both without conflict. You need to make sure one isnt trying to do the job of the other. Is your mom overbearing? If so, You may need to ask your father what he did in this situation. Then remind your mom that your grandmother invaded her marriage. Ask your wife to have extreme patience and show her your appreciation when you know she is controlling her temper. Ask your wife to ask your mother for advice on cooking your favorite dish or something. Your wife will have to carry the majority of frustration. Make sure you thank her. It happens in many marriages(if not all, to some extent).

Your wife comes before your Mom. (Sorry Mom). Love them both. There is no way you can get them to have a good relationship. Either they want it or they don't. They have something in common...you. That can be the starting point. There can be a great mother/daughter-in-law relationship...however both of them must want it and work on it together. Grace to you and God Bless...

The number one thing that you don't want to do is this...when you and your wife fight, DO NOT tell your mother. You will get over it, but your mother will remember it. Always keep your relationship with your wife seperate from you mother. She doesn't need to know y'alls business, ever. Also, don't play up your wife so much that your wife cannot live up to those expectations. Mothers are always extremely critical of their children's spouses. But it is possible to have everyone get along and even love each other.

Its all the question of balancing act. You have to support both of them at the right time. Be your usual self. So there is no too much of expectation on each side. Assume that they will get along and if a problem arises, analyze both the side and just tell them to make compromises and tell them to suppress their egos. That is the main culprit in family problems. Tell them to see the bigger picture, which is family unity. If YOU stay level headed things will be fine. Be neutral and tell them not to judge each other hard. As I believe, extended family and your family doesn't stop with just immediate parents. It goes on. In all the relationships always, whether its family or friends its about compromise. And its not based on religion. Don't be biased!

They either will get along or they will not-you can't make people like each other. If there is no chemistry there the most important thing is to make sure when there is an issue that you take a side. For example if your mom says something mean to your wife, you should defend your wife and tell your mom she is wrong and that you will not stand for such talk. And vice versa. Be a stand up guy. If you hem and haw both women will try to convince you why you should eliminate the other from your life and you don't want to end up on the Dr. Phil show. Hopefully, they will like/love each other because they have you in common.

You probaly can't so you might as well deal with it. but what is the underlying reason for them not liking each other? that question is answered and then maybe you can figure it out from there.

The marriage union did start as a Christian thing, so your wife should come first. It doesn't mean that you wont care for your mom, or even come to her defense in time of need. If your mom loves you, and your wife as well, then they should understand the importance and role of one another in your life. It wont always be peaches and cream, because most of us argue from time to time with our parents, not to mention in laws! All-in-all, they should get along famously all for the common bond.....YOU!!

You dont even understand the christian religion, or whoever expressed it to you was f'd up. We dont just leave our parents and never see them again. men are the support for their mothers in their old age, and its a good thing. I am married to an only child, and me and my mother in law had to hash quite a few things out before we were able to get along. So did me and my husband. First off, you're married to your wife, not your mother. This means, that you make plans with your wife, you set life goals with your wife, you have dreams and hopes with your wife, and you life to fulfill those things. Your wife comes first to you, her happiness, her plans her hopes her dreams... because a good woman wants the best for everyone involved. including your mother. My guess is that your mother has tried to step between you and your wife without your realizing it. If you have changed plans, said something different to your mother than to your wife, put things on hold because your mother needs you to vacuum the attic (or whatever) or your days off are always subject to what mother wants, you cant make decisions without wondering how it will effect mothers feelings, then you have already expressed to your wife that she comes in second in your heart and life to your mom. NO matter what your religious take is on life, NO WOMAN WANTS TO SHARE HER MARRIAGE AND HUSBAND. These two women can have a beautiful relationship, they can be friends and supports for eachother, but only when you know who has what role. You will always be there for your mother. If it came down to her living in the spare room until the day she died you know you would do that for her, and thats the way it should be. But you are married to you WIFE. You live with her, you sleep with her, you will die with her. not your mother. Your mom should be able to be a part of both of your lives, enjoying the role of matron. An older more experienced voice of wisdom, not a nagging hag who thinks she's always right and is the only one who knows whats best for her son. She should always be there for both of you, just as you are for her, but not at 6am until 12 at night because she cant handle two minutes alone without you. Once your wife and you mother realize that theyre both in love with the same man, and they have atleast that in common they will have a basis for a relationship. But they cant get there if all you're doing is running around trying to keep mom happy and your wife complacent. At some point mom is going to have to let go and let you have a married life, and enjoy her place in the back seat. Trying to run things and be the center of attention not only tears apart her relationship with your wife, but it does you a disservice as well. If you cant decide to be married to your wife and let her be first, you will find out the hard way that in the end she wont fight your mother for you. She'll let her have you, and go find somenoe who can be interested in her first. Ive been where your wife is, and its terribly hard. My mother in law had my husband living at home for 25 years. It took her a while to learn to let go. But now not only would i live to see her have a happy life, but iam more than willing to share the man she gave me, because she's willing to admit that she's no longer the leading lady in his life. We have a great relationship now, and i cant wait for her to enjoy her first grandchild. Once your loyalties are straight, everything else will come into line. But not until you decide that your wife comes first in your heart, and your mom comes in a close second.