Is it possible to ruin your life and career by being online?

Where could my life be going...?

• I am twenty years old, high school graduate, on and off with community college, and living with my grandparents. Constantly trying to find a job with no prevail (not too bummed about that, it's kind of expected). I start a new quarter in college this Monday, taking general education classes (Pre-cal, English, and Bio) along with an Engineering class. Last year I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder with a side helping of Panic Attacks and to top it off I already had Depression. The depression was manageable until one night I had one major panic attack because my left leg had gone to sleep, thought I was dying (thinking back I laugh about how silly those thoughts were). Before the incident, I lived a fairly happy life; had a girlfriend, had caring grandparents, financially eh...below average for someone my age (Never give a 18 year old without a job a credit card). Now days, I am getting back to normal but I am so indecisive and pessimistic about my future when I used to be completely the opposite. My girlfriend and I have been dating for six years, and she has been nothing but helpful and supporting through my hard times. She is in a University studying Marine Biology and doing very well, while I would never tell her, I am so terribly envious of her goals and aspirations. I am envious only because I cannot make up my mind about what I want to do. Everyone is telling me that NOW is the time to figure out what I want to do with my life. I do have goals, but I do not know the way to get to them. I want to be able to make enough money for her and myself to live above comfortably (100K+ Salary) which leaves me looking into the medical career. I am passionate about medicine but not crazy about school loans later on either. I also love the outdoors, was considering the NOLS program and transferring to Centeral Wyoming College for a long while to become an outdoor guide. I have always wanted to be climbing mountains and kayaking rivers and still do, and doing it as a profession would be a dream come true but in reality, even if I did make that dream, still wouldn't pay much. Plus, for as long as I can remember, I have had optical floaters... if anyone out there has had them, you know how much they can ruin a perfect view and I am nit picky about my views ^_^ My last two professions that I am considering was Computer IT, and Astrophysicist. Computers, Astronomy, and Physics have also always been a passion though only a hobby in their own individual aspects. I love building computers, always have, along with gaming and programming. Astronomy and Physics kind of go together and have been a love ever since I watched Star Wars Episode IV. I love dreaming up terraform designs for planets and the logistics that would make it work. Though once I think that seeing those plans in in real life would most likely be performed outside of my life time, I consider designing software and video-games. Anyway, sorry for the novel of a question. If you read all the way through it, thank you so much. Your critique would be much obliged. If you didn't read all the way through it...well...thank you for giving it a shot. I really do not like admitting this, but I am truly lost. I am lost and confused and really do not know where to look... Thank you everyone for your answers :) (Also, please no answers aimed at being nonconstructive. It would be so nice to have friendly and intelligent critique from those who wish to answer, in which I thank you ahead of time)

• Answer:

  the biggest mistake you can make in life regarding decisions is to make NONE at all. there is often no right or wrong option. you have to fully commit to which ever decision you make. its better than doing NOTHING at all. only when you have commit yourself will you find focus and purpose. you need to develop the mindset that ANY PATH you take can be made to work for you, with options to change and adjust at many opportunities.