How to Handle having Attachment Issues? Any advice would help?

How to Handle having Attachment Issues? Any advice would help.?

• I'm 27 and I have a fear of getting close to people, dating and making friends. Its a struggle I always Drive people away by bing clingy or I purposefully mess it up. Its not just clingy, its also avoidance of people, I assume crazy thoughts there out to hurt me, I trust no one. This is becoming a major problem in my life I have little friends and have been single 3 yrs. My parents divorced when I was 8 my father was had issues when I was younger beat my mother, drank and did drugs, many times when it was his weekend he wouldn't be home for my mother to drop me off. I was very shy as a child and made fun I feel like I can't fix my issues my chile hood seems to haunt me forever.

• Answer:

  Hi, Have you considered looking into counseling or therapy? It sounds as though the issues in your childhood gave you the impression that people are untrustworthy and hurtful. You witnessed your father harming your mother (which is most likely causing your fear of dating and relationships) as well as the abuse you endured from others is creating a sense of deep mistrust in your adult years. You feel as though if you get close to others, the abusive pattern will repeat. People who have been hurt in the past are more likely to feel as though they will be hurt in the future. It's a distorted thinking process- confusing past events with those of the future and present. Please discuss your fears with a therapist. They can really help you to process what you're experiencing. It takes time, but it will be possible to see that not every person out there is fundamentally evil or corrupt. I know it's a difficult thought to challenge,but you'll get there.