What is narrative distance?

Long Distance Relationships: Is there still something there? What went wrong?

• Were both 18, we started dating sophomore year 2.5 years long distance, I've met her once the summer going into junior year and just now when i went to her prom, she ended it the day after claiming she didn't feel the same anymore and it wasn't going to work. Everything was going good until the day i broke up with her, she took me back the next day but since then it seems everything has gone down hill, problem is i feel she gave up on the long distance but never truly stopped loving me, i honestly feel as though she tried to make herself fall out of love on purpose so the break-up could be easier. I lost all her trust when i ended it and i can tell she's still upset about it to this day. If that's not it then i have no idea why she is so upset with me i never did anything wrong i treated her with respect and made sure i gave my best efforts to make sure she was happy everyday. I was even coming for the summer and planning to move within the next year closer to her. It's not so easy for me to move on and find other people, I've been alone my whole life battling depression and suicide. When i found her i thought everything was starting to become okay and i had inspiration to care and actually have motivation to give a shit about life. I really would enjoy her back but at this point I just need her as a friend somebody to be there for me when i need someone most because i have my parents yes but everybody needs a friend or two to help them along who will understand much better than parents because they can connect on such a similar level. Please read these texts and use what I've told you to leave any suggestions on what i should do. Me: When did this start to happen? Her: Ok well after that is when i started considering everything because it wasn't right then because i was so upset that i obviously still cared about you but just as time went on i started going through my feelings. (referring to me breaking up with her in early November 2012) Me: So after that a while later you started getting new feelings and everything, i feel like you never talked to me about this, was it at all because i lost you're trust in me and you were scared to tell me this stuff in fear i'd leave you? Her: Yeah i didn't straight up tell you cause i didn't want to disappoint you it wasn't about you leaving me i just didn't want you to do something bad (referring to me hurting myself) Me: Ok i understand and for like 5ish months you tried figuring out you're feelings it didn't seem to be getting better? then that's when you asked me to promise you not to hurt myself? Her: I guess yeah Me: I guess i just wish you could've talked to me because i would've listened and did you at anytime think about how regardless i'd still get those feelings? or you thought it'd be okay because i promised you? I'm not mad or blaming you i just need this right now. Her: Yes i understand what you're saying and yes i know you'd still get those feelings that's why i'm trying to help you understand and get over this Me: Okay i guess it'll take a while because i feel as though if you did talk to me i might have been able to do something anything you know? Like the chance was never even there for me and i am not taking away the fact you tried i know you did and i appreciate that a lot but i just wish so bad i was involved. Also i feel like a lot of time i had to rip stuff out of you for you to tell me things and sometimes you just said you just told me you didn't want to talk about it. Her: Yes because i didn't need to talk about it with you and i didn't talk to you as much because i didn't want to i knew what was going to happen i was trying to distance ourselves so it wouldn't be as hard. Me: What did you know was going to happen? and distance ourselves as in prepare yourself for the breakup so you could move on easier? Her: Yes basically Me: Do you realize the fact you purposely distanced yourself that you essentially gave up and started moving on from there to make it easier on yourself before i even came? Which i feel made it practically impossible to change you're feelings? Also don't you agree only getting like 6 true hours makes that even more impossible? Whenever you decided to do that it was pretty much over because i know you had fun i could tell maybe not prom so much i don't know what happened that night but you looked like you were having fun with me the whole time but it was already over in you're head and i would've needed a miracle to change that. My big questions is if you knew i was going to get the bad feelings no matter what why not talk to me before it started getting so bad before you changed all you're feelings? Something could've possibly been done, not for sure but possibly, it's just the way it is i guess and someday i'll be able to deal with this but the fact you left me all alone in that hotel in a completely seperate state so far from home heartbroken with little explanation why you were leaving me i will never understand and i will never forgive you for that but that doesn't matter to you because you moved on and i mean **** to you now. I'm sorry for wasting you're time and you'll probably never talk to me again because i'm a piece of **** and i deserve it. If you ever want to talk to me i'll still be here because 2.5 years of building up all those feelings just doesn't go away like that. I'm sorry for all the pain i caused you, you don't deserve it so i'm going to leave you alone like you've always wanted for as long as you need. I'm sorry (her name). Her: Yeah you know what i am sorry and i know i made a mistake i should have never asked you to come i'm sorry for putting you in that situation i planned on waiting till you got back so that wouldn't happen but i couldn't lay there and pretend any longer. I'm sorry you don't have to forgive me and you can be upset at me all you want because i have to do the same thing you didn't deserve what i did.

• Answer:

  You need to specify more.  How long was the relationship?  How often did you see one another?  And you'r really ready to give it up after a ONE-DAY disagreement? It's hard to answer these things.  Have you ever actually met?  So much you need to specify.  And it's hard to say a lot without sounding patronizing, and I DON'T WANT TO, but a LOT can change at the age of 18.  Or 19, or 20.  BIG things.  What was the disagreement about?  No one can even try to answer this without a great deal more detail, and if they say thy can't they're woffing you.