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Do You Know When The First Open-Heart Surgery Was?

Inappropriate touching during surgery

  • I was touched inappropriately during my oral surgery today, and I would like to get some advice on what to do about it. Full details inside. This is long, but I want to make sure I write everything down while my memory is fresh. Today I had a fairly major oral surgery. Before the surgery I met the Doctors and other staff that would be present. It's a teaching hospital so there was the attending physician (whom I had met before), a chief resident, a nurse and a younger man that introduced himself as some type of intern. I think he is doing rotations, so I'm thinking perhaps he is a dental student. It is hard to completely establish times, but the surgery started a bit after 9am and ended I believe around 11am. I was under anesthesia for I would guess the first hour or more. At one point I came out the anesthesia (though the novacaine was still strong and effective) while they were still doing some intensive work (teeth extractions) and made moaning sounds and moved around a bit, so they put me back under for awhile. When I woke up the next time they were onto much tamer stuff (sutures and bonding), so they did not put me back under, though I was still very numbed up. Eventually I became awake, alert and able to follow the doctor's discussions and able to obey commands like 'turn your head this way' and 'open your eyes' and 'close your eyes'. During this time, I became aware that my legs were being rubbed. A lot. By opening my eyes I could see that the person doing this was the intern. It was definitely excessive, not just your 'you're going to be ok' quick pat or friendly rub. And he was rubbing me under the blanket they had placed over my legs, so directly on my jeans. And it was almost completely constant. His main focus was on my thighs, and he even rubbed in between my thighs -- my inner thighs -- fairly close to my crotch, though he never actually touched me there. Sometimes he would go down to my ankles and sort of tent my legs up and then rub under my thighs. I was totally alert but my mouth was pinned open and all kinds of bloody, intense work was going on in there, so I wasn't able to say anything. I did frequently make grunting sounds and move my legs around, to which the doctors would say "don't move". Every time I shook him off he came back, sometimes a bit forcefully, especially with the leg tenting and rubbing under the thigh thing. The first couple times the leg tenting happened I thought perhaps that was good for the surgery for some reason, but I didn't hear anyone request that he do this, and obviously no one requested that he rub the shit out of the under area of my thighs. At other times he would take my hands and hold them very tight, or manipulate my fingers in between his. When I first came out of the anesthesia it felt kind of nice to have someone holding my hand (probably because I was still a bit out of it and in my mind I thought it was my boyfriend). But as I became alert I realized that the hand holding was almost as weird and uncomfortable as the leg rubbing, because it was incredibly insistent, and even when I'd pull my hand away he would fish around for it and take it back. For example, at one point I tried to pin my hand sort of underneath my leg (hard to do with the pulse monitor on my finger and IV in my arm) but he grabbed it back. At one point I intentionally let the pulse monitor come off because I hoped one of the other doctors would notice what was going on or that he would stop because he was causing the monitor to fall off. The doctors just put it back on and didn't notice what he was doing, and he went right on doing the hand holding. I was so relieved when the surgery was all over, at this point not simply because I wanted the actual surgery done but because I wanted to stop being rubbed. From what I could tell, the intern was gone pretty much as soon as the surgery was over. My mouth was stuffed with gauze and I was left alone for a little bit, then the nurse came back, then she left to call my boyfriend to let him know it was over, then she let me know he was on his way, then she went out and brought him back. At that point she sat with us and talked over the plan for how to take care of myself for the next several days. She then asked my boyfriend to bring his car around to the front of the building so she could walk me out to it. When I was alone with the nurse I told her -- with difficulty, since my mouth was bloody and stuffed with gauze -- about the rubbing. I said he had been rubbing me a lot - even on my inner thighs - and that I had been very uncomfortable. She looked shocked and said she was sorry and didn't really know what to say. She said she and the others didn't know that was happening because they were all focused up at my mouth. I said I wanted to make sure they knew about it because it shouldn't be happening. She said the intern is just supposed to observe and help with minor things they ask for. She said small, reassuring pats on the arm are typical, but not intensive rubbing. She said she would talk to the attending physician about it. Now I'm wondering if there is anything else I should do. I mean, this was seriously shitty. He took advantage of the fact that I couldn't speak or move and kind of went to town, though thankfully never touched me right on my crotch. Though I'm a bit worried about what might have gone down while I was deeply under anesthesia. Potentially he was just trying to be comforting, but just reading over what I've written I can't really believe that. I guess I'm wondering what's the best way to make sure this guy never does this again. I spoke with the nurse, but I feel like I should do more. One of my worries is that I won't be taken seriously since I had been given anesthesia. What should I do now, Metafilter? Is this a lawyer thing? I've never had one before and am very overwhelmed at the thought of hiring one. Or can I just make a complaint to the hospital and feel like they will handle it? I would very much appreciate any help. Throwaway email: oralsurgaskme at gmail dotcom

  • Answer:

    Is this a lawyer thing? This is a police thing.

anonymous at Ask.Metafilter.Com Visit the source

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I think this was probably appropriate care, and that he was rubbing you to prevent blood clots from forming which could travel to your lungs and brain. OP, remember that when you asked the nurse about this, this was the answer: "She said the intern is just supposed to observe and help with minor things they ask for. She said small, reassuring pats on the arm are typical, but not intensive rubbing." Many people will probably try to minimize this but I absolutely do not think that this was part of normal or appropriate care.

KathrynT

This is the sort of thing that I would normally put in a MeMail because I have no direct advice, but I feel like I have no choice but to say it here because you are anonymous. I just want to say that I believe every word of what you wrote here. You might get some pushback (IRL, not here) from people who go, well, you WERE under sedation or well, are you SURE he wasn't really doing this or that. I just want to say that I believe you so completely that I would quite comfortably bet my next 5 paychecks on everything you wrote being 100% accurate about what happened.

cairdeas

Oh, here's something I CAN give direct advice about: and when you're on the phone go "Can you send me an email about what we just discussed?" I was once dealing with a relatively serious situation, with a bureaucracy, and asked for a follow-up email like this after getting off the phone with someone. She readily agreed, and sent me an email almost immediately after our phone call. But what she said in the email did not really match up to what she said on the phone and what we agreed. At the time I wrote it off as not being important, or maybe it was some kind of form email they always send in these situations, or something. Guess what, when it escalated later on, that email was literally waved in my face by someone going, "well you SAY she told you such and such on the phone, but we can see that's not at all true based on the follow-up email she sent." I learned the hard way that I should have replied to the email immediately and gone, "Sorry, but that's not what you just said on the phone 5 minutes ago at all."

cairdeas

I think this was probably appropriate care, and that he was rubbing you to prevent blood clots from forming which could travel to your lungs and brain. 1. If blood clots were a concern for you, it would have been discussed prior to the surgery. 2. They make special socks that help prevent blood clots and are used during and after surgery for people at risk. 3. There is no approved blood clot prevention protocol that involves inappropriate sexual touching.

prefpara

Just want to note: do not call the University PD. Call your local police department. There have been multiple news stories recently about university PDs being more interested in protecting the parent institution than justice.

bfranklin

In addition to what's been stated so far, i'd recommend contacting the director of the hospital. Like, call them until they answer and send something in writing. Any complaints you make to the school this teaching hospital is hosted at/run by or to the hospital itself should either be in writing, or also sent in writing. You want a paper trail proving that they were aware about this immediately after it happened so that if they try and ignore it later you can prove they were aware of it. I agree with at least contacting the police. I have very little legal knowledge but this sounds like something you'd contact them about. What i do know about is dealing with shitty employees at places like this directly with the school/hospital/etc. Just try and keep as much of the correspondence in writing as possible, and try and record or at least write down "called XYZ person at 123 phone number at 6/20/13 5:12pm" and what you discussed every time. Email is fine too, email before every call and when you're on the phone go "Can you send me an email about what we just discussed?" Don't be surprised when they don't, but at least try. This is gold evidence. Also keep in mind that they're probably 100% full of shit if they say they don't have some kind of records of who was attending that procedure. They'll know exactly who this guy was and everything he did that day. Beware of any excuses that sound like ass covering. Also fuck, i am so sorry. This really upset me even just reading it, and it's like... text on the internet from an anonymous person. This kind of shit hurts my soul. Feel better, awesome internet poster person who is going to crucify this dudes gonads for being a waste of sperm and eggs.

emptythought

Take your the jeans you were wearing and put them in a large ziplock bag, maybe double bag it. While I don't know if there is evidence that can be preserved, at least if there is it would be safe. Do not turn it over to the hospital, only to the police or a third party lab. You should also retain a lawyer immediately, and send the hospital's lawyers and department head a "preservation of evidence" letter so that any video tapes, records etc are not destroyed. On one hand it would be horrible to falsely accuse someone based on an anesthesia induced hallucination. On the other hand stranger things have happened, and it would be great to prevent him from doing it to anyone else, and if the hospital is not doing the industry best practices to prevent this, it would be a wakeup call to them.

Sophont

I almost feel weird double posting, but "write everything down right now" is also AMAZING advice. The one or two times i've remembered to do that after something fucked up happened/happened to me it's been immensely helpful later at recalling as much as i can about the events, and making sure i stayed true to the exact events and wasn't manipulated in to seeming unsure or feeling unsure of myself. Open up notepad and write everything down while you're reading this. Do it right now.

emptythought

The uncertainty over being taken seriously makes me wonder if I should just address the issue with the hospital, since they surely must have an interest in preventing their students from molesting women (or is that naive?). That is naive. It may or may not be so, but you have to proceed in situations like this under the assumption that the hospital's interest is in maintaining a positive public image. Often that means not publicly disciplining someone who does something shitty, but vehemently denying that anything shitty ever happened in the first place. See references upthread to recent similar incidents swept under the rug by prestigious universities.

telegraph

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