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How to keep conversation going well?

Why is it so easy to make conversation with some friends, but with others there are so many "awkward moments" where you constantly have to think about how to keep the conversation going?

  • We all do this. Sometimes we make friends with people who we genuinely care about, but as the friendship develops, each conversation becomes more awkward. Soon enough you're always worrying about what to say next, and the conversations seem to die much quicker. How do we prevent ourselves from falling into this trap? How can we create friendships where natural conversation is the foundation, and neither one has to constantly worry about what to say next? Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try to get to know the other person (because I do truly care), we still develop an "Awkward Friendship"

  • Answer:

    That is a bummer my good sir.  I find that when this happens to me, it is mostly because I am trying too too hard!  The harder I try to make myself likeable and amicable, the more I am...well, not that way.  Every joke is taken the wrong way, every sentence comes our wrong.  This is not easy, but maybe if you (and me) just wouldnt think at all about the conversation and just do it on the fly, it might work out better.  I do also find that with these things, if you just give it a rest, maybe don't talk to the person for a few days, you will "recover" so to speak and conversation will flow easier.  You will then be able to talk to the person about the events in the last few days.  If you see someone at 8 in the evening then 10 AM the next day, conversation is gonna be hard to come by.  good luck mate

Aaron Rumley at Quora Visit the source

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There is one universal principle regarding human interaction, which is People like people like themselves.A lack of conversation topics probably means that there is not enough empathy between you and the other person. You don't have enough things in common for conversation to just flow.Think about it, people form friendships and groups based on common interests or characteristics. The new guys in each class tend to group, the jocks/athletes tend to group, the nerds/geeks tend to group and so on.It's easy to avoid this, just become genuinely interested on the person talking to you. Then, it will be easy to find new conversation topics: What are his or her interests? What does he or she think about something that's happening? What's their opinion on a popular movie at the moment?Besides coming up with new things to talk about, you'll generate rapport with that person by finding out interests you have in common.Obviously, true human interaction should never feel robotic or forced, so take that awkwardness as a natural reminder to learn more about the person you're talking to.

John Ramos

I agree with Aaron that you (and your friends) may be trying too hard. The more you want the friendship to work, the more cautious you get with opening up about your weaknesses. People like people who are imperfect because that makes them seem human. Consciously try to talk about things in your life or your day that didn't go great. Or about an embarrassing moment. Or get drunk with your friend and make a fool of yourself. Even if you do all these, you still need your friend to open up too. Some people just take longer to trust and get comfortable with other people. Also, I will point out that introverted people are generally perfectly okay with having lulls in the conversation. They may not feel the awkwardness the same way you do, and are fine with just being quiet for a while.

Anonymous

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