How do I get my horse to trust and respect me?

How can I get a slightly older horse to trust me?

• Ok, so my horse is about 15 years old (I am not sure if that qualifies as old but still). She is very stubborn, rather fat and hates being ridden.Whenever I get her saddle out, she puts her ears back and retreats away. If she is tied, she stands still but as soon as I go near her, she bites. My Dad is able to go near her, so are my Mum and Grandad. It is just me. I have tried grooming her often to get her to trust me but she is very unenthusiastic. She refuses to lift her hooves and I have to sit on her in order to be able to get them in the air (she seems to see it as a punishment although I try not to use it as one). I have only recently become obsessed with riding and we got told that we could look after her but not own her. We are allowed to ride her and all that just not to sell her. I really want to enjoy the few riding sessions I manage to get out of her, but she refuses to move unless on a lead rope being dragged and If I try to Canter, she rears and bucks. She used to be a sweet horse, my sister was the one obsessed with riding but grew out of it I guess. She has lived in our huge field left to her own devices along with our Shetland and I really want to get her back to being the sweet pony she used to be. It has got to the point that she has not been ridden for so long that the saddle no longer fits (she is too fat) so I have to ride bareback which I don't mind but can only do with an adult to drag her along and prevent her from bolting. I really want this to work and for me to be able to ride her. I just feel it is a waste if she is left to grow wild any longer. I am at a boarding school abroad so don't come home very often but when I do, I really want her to be enthusiastic about seeing me and I don't want looking after her to be a chore. PLEASE help me! I am DESPERATE to ride her!

• Answer:

  Having worked with a few rogues in my time, I would suggest a few visits without trying ot mount her. She probably associates you with stress, even if you have done nothing wrong. So next few visits, just be nice, give a bit of feed and dont try to mount her. After a few visits, she will relax and try putting a saddle on without mounting, and see how you go. Once a horse gets it into their head, they dont want to do something, trying to force them can only make it worse, so your best bet is slowly slowly and go from there