What should be on my resume to apply to H&M?

Would HM not look lovely donning this to her...?

• ...Diamond Jubilee luncheon at The Guildhall? I love fashion and would like to think myself a rather creative mind. I love to imagine ensembles, especially for royal women. Since HM will soon be celebrating the zenith of her reign with her Diamond Jubiliee, my creative wheels are turning faster than ever with ideas for her wardrobe for the Jubilee year. Would she not look lovely in this ensemble for the special Jubilee Guildhall luncheon? She would don a slate blue frock with the flags of all the realm embroidered into the frock's hemline. The bodice of the frock would be made of pure silk and the skirt would be made of linen. The frock would be sleeveless, but HM would don a shawl made of virgin wool in pale yellow. Her millinery would be made of the same pale yellow virgin wool. The millinery would be a turban with the Scottish tiara anchoring the turban at the front hairline. HM's shoes would be specially cobbled for the occasion. They would be pale yellow patent leather with silver buckles in the shape of the English lion. HM's hosiery would be a shimmer slate blue. HM's jewelry would consist of drop earrings. The base of the earrings at the earlobes would be cameos of HM's parents. One ear would have a cameo of HM King George VI and one ear would have a cameo of the blessed HM the Queen Mother. Dropping from the cameos would be chandeliers of pearls and diamonds. HM would don a special sterling silver Jubilee locket necklace with "60" engraved on its front. Upon opening the locket, a family portrait of the royal family could be viewed. Would this ensemble not be enchanting?

• Answer:

  Ew! I hope you are just joking...