How can I make sure my company's website is as fast and reliable as Yahoo Answers?

Base your office in an elementary school. Get drunk at work. Try to care less.

Hire yourself some Shakespeare-typing monkeys. Or else outsource to a village with no computer access whatsoever. =0)

pour coca cola on your servers.

Try hosting it on a 386 on the back porch. Christ that took awhile just to fix a typo.

Make 35 coffee breaks per day mandatory. Have ready a whole slew of "oops" messages. Be sure to stock up on generic automatic responses that give no real information.

Simply turn on your computer and walk away. While you're gone make sure to set loose some ferrets, a pigeon, a hamster, a cat and a small lap dog (to pee on your keyboard) in the room which your computer is located. You should return to find a nice-sized mess, and a fried computer. Congratulations in that case! You're well on your way to becoming as successful and respected for your reliability and care as Yahoo Answers. Give yourself a pat on the back dear friend.

Hire a squirrel that spends most of its' time in a martini glass to randomly press the reset button.

Do not blaspheme the Yamster, sinner.

Get a large hamster (Yamster?) wheel and fill it with rabid squirrels. That shoud do for power. The get a roll of duct tape and 100 used calculators from the early eighties and tape them all together. Run power line from Yamster wheel to computer tower and attach a phone line somehow and I think you've got it. Keep up the good work!