What Was Little Jimmy's Nickname?

What do you think about my mother-in-law trying to tell me not to use my son's nickname to use his real name?

• My husband father and my husband want’s us to name our son after his father. My husband promised his dad that he will name his son after his father. If I didn’t agree with naming my son after his father then I will have a probably with my husband and his family for the rest my life. I agreed to name my son after my husband’s father. I told my husband to tell his father that I am naming my son after him not for his father, but for my husband. I also told my husband that I will give our son a nickname and he was ok with that. I put my son’s sonogram pictures on facebook and I put my sons nickname on facebook instead of the originally name were going to put on the birth certificate. My husband went to lunch with his mom. My mother-in-law didn’t want to show her husband the sonogram picture’s that I put on facebook because I put my son’s nickname on facebook and that would have upset the father. My mother-in-law also said that if I send out any invitations or write on any documentation that I put my son’s really name and not a nickname. I told my husband that he can tell his mom I am going to do what I want. If I want to send out invitations with my son nickname I can and will or on any documentations. I also told my husband I come first before his family and what should matter is my feelings. What do you think?

• Answer:

  My husband and I went back and forth about names for our daughter. There was one name that I've wanted for almost my whole life for my first daughter. It wasn't nearly as dramatic as your situation, but what my mom told me is that YOU carry the baby for 9 months and You will be the one asked all the questions and taking the baby to the doc and feeding and caring for the baby. That gives you the right to name the baby whatever you so wish. If there is such a large problem that the child is effected about it then it can be changed when they are older. After seeing all I went through with pregnancy and birth for our daughter, when she was born he gave her the name that I had wanted even though he wanted a different name more. I think what you are doing is a perfect compromise. You can name the child any thing. Giving your child a family name is not a requirement. It is an honor to have a child named after you and to act like it is owed to you is not acceptable in my books. I would ask them "will you love your grandson, your son, or their mother/wife less just because of what they are called?" If you are going to name him after your father-in-law that is wonderful and he should feel so loved, respected, honored, etc... Even if it is as a middle name, or you could give the child the name you wanted as a middle name. Then each person can call the child by his first or his middle name, and you could put his whole name on invitations and such. Or put his nickname in parenthesis behind his real name. A mother can call their baby anything they want to (within reason, not obscenities) and if she is the only one that calls the child by that name then it is that much more special.