Do you believe in spanking your kids or in time out?
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Big problem, my fiance and I are not in the same page when it comes to raising our kids. We come from two completely different worlds, different lifestyle, different cultures. I was raise by my Mother and Father, both strict, believe in tough love. Respect above all. She was raised by her mother, as long as her mother was not in her moods. no discipline, no respect. little love. I believe in spanking when they need it, she believes in time out. REMEMBER SPANKING NOT ABUSING THEM Spanking with the belt, is discipline Spanking with the buckle is abuse Spanking and leaving the sensation of burned is discipline Spanking and leaving a big purple bruise is abuse Teaching your child the responsibility comes before game is discipline Teaching your child the game comes before responsibility is spoiling them. Giving allowance to your child for doing chores is paying for work Giving him a hug, kiss and say thank you for doing your chores, is acknowledging
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Answer:
I honestly believe that whatever way is more effective (meaning the child gets the point) is the way to go. I can't even spank my child hard enough for him to get the point that he wasn't supposed to do something or disobeyed. He just runs away and laughs. I can't bring myself to try harder!! Time out is the most effective way of punishment under most circumstances. He hates to be sitting in a corner when he can be playing or something. He will cry the whole time and fuss, yet when I spank him, he laughs and pretty much thinks it is a game. Watch closely and try both. You are doing well if you remember the rules for spanking. You will start to see what disciplinary action will have more effect on your child. Use that one!
FRANK M at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source
Other answers
First of all - "spanking with the belt" is not discipline, it's abuse!
Lepke
Research shows that whatever discipline is chosen that it needs to be objective (done to teach, not done in anger) and consistent. Research also shows that spanking does not teach what a child can do to replace the bad decision, increases aggressiveness, can lead to generalizing behaviors, and can cause relationship strain. Plus it is a double standard if trying to teach a child that hitting is wrong and that big people protect little people. For every wrong thing discovered, 7 positive things should be acknowleged. As for the comment about giving kids allowance is paying them for work- just look at your life. Would you go to work if you didn't get paid? Would you do something if there was not a benefit/reward in it? Whether it is the good feeling that being nice to a friend gives you or the lack of ridicule when chosing to wear clean over dirty clothes- there is always something in it for us. Just take the time to find the motivator. Everyone seems to think that it is the lack of hitting/spanking our children that is today's soctiey's problem. I disagree. I think it is the lack of consistent parenting and role models. If a parent is more interested in drugs or has to work constantly to make ends meet so not home to supervise then that is a consistency/role model issue, not a spanking issue.
Ansel
i believe in spanking but you will get a different vibe with each child some need only to hear that they are doing something wrong to get the picture. But there are the others that need a spanking to get them in line.
Candace
I fully support spankings. I believe one of the reasons kids get so out of hand nowadays is because they lack proper discipline. Yes time outs CAN work with some kids, but more often than not, all that tells them, is oh ok all I have to do is wait 10 minutes or so then I can act out again. A spank to the bottom brings it to their attention right then what they are doing is wrong and it corrects the behavior. I despise when people equate spankings with abuse, spanking is in no way abusing a child.
Crouching Monkey Hidden Hippo
I believe in both actually. A little spanking when they've been extremely naughty, and time out for the little things that still need punishment.
Pavlov's Daughter
I agree with you. My mother was very strict and I have a lot more self control than others my age because of it. Spanking isn't abuse. Spoiling your kids by shaking your finger at them won't teach them anything.
dmc.fanatic
I don't believe in either. I believe in guidance and supervision. There are no shortcuts to raising a child. Nobody is perfect, don't expect a child to come up to an adult level. Keep them safe and healthy and improving each day. Show them a better way not scold them a better way.
Mere Exposure
Sounds like you know what you believe you just need to convince your wife, you need to work it out. Most of the time when I see a kid screaming and crying because mommy wont get him something I just want so smack him, my x-gf has a brother who cant butten his pants.... his 9 yrs old, its pathetic.... trust me if you dont disepline your kids its just going to hurt them in the future, kids that dont get spanked end up being spoiled little brats that no one likes and people get pissed off at them and there stinky attitudes and beat the crap out of them for every time there mothers didnt..... just my oppinion though
Tristan
spank them
BigBoi1
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