How can I be a better boyfriend?

How can I make things better with my boyfriend? (Really Long)?

• I found out I was pregnant back in October 2011. I was shocked because I got on the depo shot on May 31. I told my boyfriend a week after I found out, when I told him he was shocked but he said he will be there for me and the baby both financially and emotionally. We had a serious conversation that day in which I explained to him that I wasn't expecting anything from him I told him how I felt and he told me how he felt. We both agreed that at the moment neither of us want to get married. The only thing he asked me was to give him time so that he can sink in the news. I agreed. Meanwhile I wouldn't talk about that baby or not even mention the word "pregnant" since he didn't want to talk about that subject. A month passed and we went on a mini vacation in which things were great. Little by little he would ask me stuff about the baby and he would even buy me stuff that I started craving. I started to get happy because I thought he was getting happy about the baby. At first when I found out that I was pregnant I was scared, sad, depressed I didn't know what to do I felt confused! But after I told my mom the news and I heard the baby's heartbeat for the 1st time I was starting to get happy. I wanted everyone to know the good news but my boyfriend told me not to say anything on facebook because he needed to tell his family first. Since I have some of his family as friends on facebook I decided to respect his decision since the right thing is that his family finds out by him and not by me. So another month passed by. By this time it was already December! Around this time he seemed more happy about the baby. I asked him if he already told his mom in which his answer was always NO! I started to get frustrated because I wanted to share the news with my friends already and I couldn't so finally he decided to tell his mom. After that things changed! Things between me and him seemed great he would call me, sleep over my house, we would go out. Until one day out of no where he told me he wanted to get a paternal test just to make sure that the baby is his! He told me I know it's mine I just want to know 100% so that I can raise him with no doubts. He really hurt my feeling because he knew he was the only I was having sex with. I been with him 3 years and we have never had a break up in which he could think that I cheated or something. At the end, I agreed because like I told him I don't have anything to hide. Since then our relationship has changed. On New years day we went to eat we were having such a good time until we were about to leave. He told me that he thinks that I got pregnant on purpose just to tie him down! He also said that he doesn't believe me that I took the depo shot back in May. He says that I'm trying to control his life, also that it gets on his nerves that I tell him not to talk to girls because he doesn't! All those things he said really hurt my feelings really bad because every since I found out I was pregnant I have never once told him to do anything for me. Also, I have never tried to control him because I never even call him or text him at all. I always let him call me first! Also, I did take the shot I took it back on May 31 and they told me that it would work for 3 months! I was supposed to take my next shot August 31 like I was told! But I was already pregnant! We had an accident on August 13 and August 21. He thinks I got pregnant August 21 so my mistake was to say that maybe the shot was 75% effective. In which he took things the wrong way and know he says he feels betrayed because if I knew that the shot was only 75% effective at the time then I should of told him! According to my due date I calculated that I got pregnant on August 13! I just don't know what to do anymore I told him I would show him the receipt of the shot I got but then I think to myself if I show him all those things he is just going to come up with another excuse! I really want to make things work! I swear I don't want to live with him I'm not ready yet! And he thinks I do. He changed after he told his mom he started to come up with excuses! I don't know who he is anymore! His mom, stepdad, and brother live in HIS HOUSE so my boss tells me that maybe the mom is the one who is telling him all this because if my boyfriend decides to take me to live with him the mom is going to have to go and since she lives there for free she doesn't want to leave! I would really appreciate any advice. By the way I'm 21 and his 27. Thanks.

• Answer:

  Remember all the mixed emotions that you had at finding out that you were pregnant? He's experiancing that too, only he doesn't have the benefit of seeing and experiancing that baby's growth like you do. (It made your materal insiticts kick into high gear with your hormones.) I would advise you to take the paturity test--just to prove to him that it is his. Remind him nicely that birth control is never 100% effective. Getting pregnant is part of the risk that you take when you have sex. Try to make it be polite between the two of you (even if your relationship falls apart) it's good for kids to not have to hear their parents fighting. Invite him to come with your to appointments like to see the baby on the ultrasound. Hopefully he will come around. If not, be prepared to take him to court to get child support when the baby is born. Every child deserves to be supported by both parents--at least monitaily.