When does function order matter?

How hard is it to reverse a custody order?

• I'm asking on behalf of my husband. He gained sole custody of his son back in June 2008. Before then, his "babymama" and he fought constantly on who pays what, who has the little boy when...to no end, in her mind, 'I gave birth, my job is done.' We kept a calendar of the days we have Davion, what and how much we pay for daycare, healthcare, etc. She saw her son an average of 5-8 days a month from Jan though June. He filed for custody and won because the deadbeat didn't even show up to court. Now, she sees her son growing up in a healthy environment WITHOUT her, she sees him calling someone else Mommy, and NOW she's threatening to fight the decision. We follow the visitation schedule to a T and we collect a measely $200/month in child support from her. But this is not even about the child or her desire to be a mother...this is about control over my husband and the fact that another female has made him and his son happy. He and I function as a unit and as far as I know, I love that kid as if I gave him life. But every week, we have to deal with an episode from this woman. In Texas, it is very difficult for fathers of such a young child to gain sole custody. But that order has stood since June and things couldn't be better. I don't think she realizes how much trouble she's causing just to say she has say-so over this or that. I'm afraid that if she does fight the order, the judge will overturn it simply because she is the mother (that's how it is in Texas, there's no such thing as a deadbeat mom here.) Davion has been through soooo much in his 3 years, he's finally in a place where he has stability, love, security (emotional, financial, spiritual) and most of all two parents that put him first no matter what. Should I be worried? on what grounds would a judge overturn the decision?

• Answer:

  I wouldn't get too worried about it, it doesn't help the situation at all. I had a similar situation with my hubby and his ex. We did the visitation thing for a while, until she stopped showing up. All we had to do was wait it out, we both knew she wouldn't show up after a while and we were right. Got sole custody and haven't heard from her in about 6 years, and don't plan to. I'm from Texas too, and I believe she had 2 or 3 more kids after our son, and they all live with their dad except one...don't know how she's held on to him though. Just stick to the court orders and write down every time she was late picking or dropping him off, anytime she was late with child support $, every little thing she has or hasn't done. Hopefully she'll get tired of dealing with everything and go away for good. Or, maybe, just maybe, she has grown up and wants to be responsible for him, if that's the case then I suggest you share custody. Hope everything works out for y'all!