Does my son have a delay/disorder or is it just his personality?

Honestly, from what you described your kid sounds perfectly normal. Kids are always going to have some things they hate, some things they like, and some things they refuse to do. My child didn't learn how to blow his nose until he was 12, he always held the tissue up to his nose and sniffed in! And my daughter refused to eat all vegetables, if it was green flavored she wouldn't touch it. She's in college now and still eats very few vegetables. Childhood disorders more often show themselves in the classroom than anywhere else, and even then you should take any diagnosis by teachers with a grain of salt unless your child shows clear and distinct signs of autism or adhd, which from your description he does not.

It sounds like your son..without a doubt(to me) has sensory issues, oral and tactile He may have other issues going on, or he could just be abit quirky. My son has sensory issues. Oral..just like your son, he cant handle textures of alot of foods....nothing mushy, or slimy, and no meat(untill reciently, he will eat ham and fast food chicken nuggets): he is now 8 and it has gotten better with age. We went to a few feeding speciaists, and it didnt help at all!) My son alos has sensory issues but opposite of your son. Clothes don't bother him, but he has always needed "impact" jumping, running, throwing..but had low muscle tone in his upper body so he never crawled, had to be tought to roll over and pull himself up as a baby. But once he was shown how to do "anything" he got it. He also has sensory to sound. My son was delayed from baby..but cought up..slowly. For sensory Occupational Therapy is the best thing and needed so they are able to learn how to deal with it in different ways. google sensory issues and the symptoms your son has. See what you find, and agree or disagree with. You could start working with him at home with the info you find. For the nail clipping...try, if he can handle it, massaging him. start with his shoulders, then go to each arm...hand and fingers..then try and clip his nails. (if the reason he doesnt like his nails clipped is because he cant handle having his hand/fingers held tightly..massaging him may prepare his body(get it used of it "right now" )so he can hanlde it. I know you asked to not mention doctors. BUT...will your insurance cover a pediatric neurologist? Call and ask, how you can get him seen. Just to rule things out. You should also look into getting him, state insurance. If you have a low income(please dont take offence, just trying to help) HE may qualify, which would be great. Then you will be able to take him to whatever type of doctor you feel he needs..and get therapy he needs. He does need OT from what you said. My son is now 8..still has his quirks, isn't the typical "normal" boy...but he is getting there and has made huge strides this past year. He has never had accidemic issues, he is very smart, "fitting in" with the other boys..has been a little difficult. This year he seems to be fitting in, he has a grasp on his sensory issues and understands, and is able to work his way through things. and..he also has anxiety, since a young age! which is now very under control. Early Intervention is really the key to get our children to thrive. Honestly, If my son didn't get therapy early on..not sure if he would be doing as well as he is now. His therapy ended at 3. At 7 i took him to a therapist for his anxiety. Which I really think was his main issue. anixety triggeres his sensory.

Rent the movie Parenthood.

My son is going on 4 and is behind as well. He also excels academically but has quirks too. Ppl who are not Dr's have tried labeling him autistic and it pisses my dr off. He says hes positive hes not. The public school has programs for kids with delayment and it also comes with free services. Like honey says, which I agree with her, my son has sensory issues and the school offers free services for it if hes in the program. Speech is also offered. My dr says some kids walk at 6 months and some at 16 but by 2 they all usually walk the same, and it goes for everything else. He says by 1st and 2nd grade they usually catch up to speed in all areas, then you can try labeling if needed. And to the person who wrote he sounds autistic is wrong, my dr also said the biggest sign is social interactment if he talks and interacts with strangers, plays with kids, and lets you hold him then its a big sign hes not. If you are concerned id contact a local public school and see if they offer any programs for preschoolers, cause like I said its free good care.

My Mom's 62, raised 7 kids of her own and countless strays that needed a place to belong. I read her your input, and she said he may be autistic. Do not get her wrong, I went through school with many* students that live with autism. It is not a death sentence. I guestimate four out of every seven autistic students I was brought up with are geniouses. I'm sure he'll be well.

Honestly, I have been and observed children my entire life. (I'm 19 and have been babysitting since 12 and changing diapers since 7 because my mother owned a daycare). I just wanted to say that even though it's hard, maybe try not to compare him to the other children. I was going to say he may have a mild case of autism, but since he makes eye contact and shows emotion that is a very good thing. What it does sound like though is that he is a bit of a perfectionist (maybe ocd) Which is extremely common in young children. It sounds like this may be his way of dealing with the world. A good example is when I was 2-6 I would have to turn the pages in the book in a certain way, walk in a certain way, have certain foods on my plate in different corners etc. When I was 5, I would organize my stuffed animals on my bed every night in a certain way, I was so exact, then one night my sister literally touched one of the animals and I had a screaming fit for 2 hours. Also, I collected shells and had imaginary friends. But I got over it of course. I have seen many Children that seem to act the same way as your son does. What I would do is observe his behavior but don't think too hard into it unless it becomes a big issue. But it just seems like a little normal child OCD to me. Good luck (: