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Who is Youth Allowance for the parent or the child?

How come most people assume that every parent cares about their child, just as much as the next parent?

  • Just because some people had loving parents/grandparents. then when they had kids, they loved them. Doesn't mean that every parent REALLY cares about their child. Just because a parent doesn't abandon a child, doesn't mean that they "love" them. I never had a real conversation with my mom in my entire life. I never had my mom stop what she was doing to help me when its an emergency. (I had heart problems while she was home, and she didn't take me to the hospital. I had to call them myself.) I had my mom put me on medication just for the simple reason that "I never go outside to play with other kids" it caused me permanent damage which ruined my childhood. I never had an allowance. I never had my mom pay for the dentist for me, and when I was 16-17 years old, my mom suddenly stopped caring all together. Some days I haven't ate, when she had plenty of money to buy me food. I never had my mom warn me not to do drugs or anything like that. Every week I have my mom yelling at me how she wishes I was never here, and how she will throw me out on the streets. When I was 14-16 my mom always threatened to put me in a foster home because I "complained" I can't make plans for college because I need to work so I can be prepared for when she kicks me out, now that I'm turning 19. I am not thankful for having her bring me in this world. If a house was on a fire, and a stranger and my mom were in it. I would rather save the stranger, maybe he doesn't beat his children everyday and wishes they were gone.

  • Answer:

    I don't think every parent cares about their child. Some parents are profoundly effed up and aren't capable of caring about anybody else. All I know is, inspite of what others have done to me I know better than doing that to my children. You sound angry and you deserve to be. Don't be a victim. The wolf you feed is the one that wins.

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Both my parents are useless as well. I have parented my children exactly opposite of the way I was parented. I could never say my parents cared about me, and that has made the feelings mutual. So yeah, just because you are a parent, it does not mean you love your kids

Selar

Well, I'm really sorry your own mother has treated you that way, that's very unfortunate and sad. But you will be a victim for as long as that's how you see yourself...

LOLeah

well it's a funny thing. before, parents loving children was the expected norm and people found it difficult to believe some parents didn't. Now, it's gone the other way. The expectation is that parents need to be monitored (they check for level of bonding etc and watch you for signs of being an unfit parent, and when they're with you they check to see if they see any sign of risk of things like post-natal depression etc when you go to hospital to have a baby) and we're all incapable and we need help, and are all urged to have paid professionals look after our children because they're obviously better at it than us. Some take the approach that they feel there isn't automatically a problem and are looking to see if there is, while others take the approach that there is a problem and they need to be reassured. So it's like people have forgotten that loving parents actually ARE the norm and go to huge lengths to try to convince themselves and other people that loving parents are a rarity. Don't worry. Your mum might have been a huge, all-encompassing shadow over your life for a while, but it's nearly over. Just when you move out, look forwards. Don't look back and try to resolve anything. I did and it was a huge mistake. Yes, partly because of circumstance, but I felt like I HAD to sort it out before I could move on. It didn't work out like that at all. You don't have to accept what happened, and you might not accept what the drugs did to you. But once your life is your own it's just that. It's your own. Please don't do anything stupid. Don't let this take any more of your life than it already has.

Phil

What do you want us to tell you? Your Mother is not nurturing and sounds unpleasant. Some kids have parents who burn their children with cigarettes and sexually abuse them. It's a crapshoot and some of us get lucky, some of us wind up in the middle of the road and some barely make it out of childhood alive.

a chick

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