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Is it fair for me to tell my daughter I won't baby sit anymore until she gets her baby into a routine? ?

  • My 18 year old daughter has an 7 month old baby that I sit for on a regular basis. She has returned to work 2 days a week, going up to 4 days after xmas and I have the baby then. The bug bear is the night time babysitting. They don't go out too much, once a week maximum but the baby has no bedtime routine. She doesn't go to bed till midnight! My daughter starts work at 10 am, I get there to collect the baby about 9.30, the baby is fresh out of her cot usually unfed and dazed. My daughter says this routine suits her because she doesn't need to get out of bed at the crack of dawn! I prefer routine for a baby. I think my daughter should be getting up no later than 7.30 and have the baby dressed and fed. If she did this then the baby would be ready for bed far earlier. Her partner gets up for work at 6 and does a full days work then she expects him to take over with the baby as soon as he has finished work. She says my routine might fit my life but it doesn't fit hers and it is her choice. The baby is a happy, well fed bright little button so it's not like she's neglected. My problem is that I have 2 younger kids 6+8 and I am tired of juggling a baby till midnight when I been seeing to my own kids all day. Do you think I am being unreasonable to say I can't babysit anymore until this baby goes to bed at a reasonable hour.

  • Answer:

    I FEEL YOUR PAIN. I have an almost 20 year old stepdaughter with a newborn and a toddler who turns 3 in Feburary. When they come to visit she and the husband and the toddler stay up till midnight and then sleep till 11 while the rest of us have a much more school hours schedule. I also have an 8 year old and a 10 year old, so it's like two completely different routines. I think if you are watching the baby and helping out your daughter she ought to be grateful and try to alter the routine a bit for the simple fact that you are being so nice and supportive. She's walking all over you and taking advantage. Are you also buying diapers and food for your grandson? Why on earth should she feed him if she can just roll out of bed and drop him at your place? I know it's going to be very hard, but you have to stand your ground. You tell her that you can't stay up till midnight babysitting and you let her know that you will only babysit during daylight hours. That way you aren't completely turning her down, just drawing some boundaries so that she realizes she can't take advantage of your generosity anymore.

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Its not your child, so you can't really demand that your daughter adopt a routine that fits YOUR lifestyle. It appears that she has a routine that fits their family lifestyle, and that's the way it should be. I mean, if you ran a daycare, it wouldn't really be appropriate to tell the other parents that they must have their children on a certain routine. You know what I mean? When you babysit other people's children, this is part of what you deal with. That being said, its also perfectly within your rights to tell her that babysitting her child isn't fitting into YOUR routine anymore, so you aren't going to be able to do it.

Proud

I think your daughter is being lazy and not stepping up to the plate. There is no reason a 7month old baby is going to bed at midnight. That baby should be going down for the night around 8pm. I agree with you and i as well would not keep helping her out if she doesnt do something now. It only gets worse when they get older. Does she feel like staying up until 4am each night once the baby turns 2??

I make beautiful babies

Bottom Line: The baby is your daughters child. You didn't sign up for another kid, so why are you paying the price? Confront her; there is definitely more she can do. SHES THE MOTHER!!!

ollieliver108

No offense, but your daughter is a brat. The baby should definitely be in a routine. You have to get her to change it, or the baby is going to grow up that way. You seem like a responsible mother, so make your daughter be one too.

Xena X

Yes it is fair for you to do that, she is lucky to even have you to help her with the baby and babysit (I assume for free). I think it's unbelievable when people purposely keep their baby up so "they" can sleep in, quite selfish.

Baba Booey!

You have every right, to request your daughter sit down with you and work out a schedule that is more realistic. The child needs a schedule that works for everyone since you may not always be the sitter and it is unfair to make this child adjust and adjust and adjust because mom is too lazy to put out the effort. Your not reasonable what so ever. My mom babysat 1 time in my childresns lives, 1 time, how lucky your daughter is to have you.

loves christmas lights

I think the baby has a routine.. If she is happy and healthy and getting enough sleep for her age i think the baby is just fine. Their timings are different doesn't mean that ur daughter is neglecting the baby. But, the routine just doesn't fit yours , so you have every right to tell your daughter why you cannot babysit anymore. Its her choice whether she wants to change the routine to suit yours so as to continue keeping the baby with you, or carry on as is and find another baby sitter. I'm sure she'll realise you are the best sitter she can have and probably conform. In any case, tell her that she should at least feed the baby and get her ready :)

Dumbo Engineer

The baby IS on a routine/schedule. You're just upset that you have to stay up late. Big deal. Let your daughter know in advance that you can't conform.

Heather R♥se

your 100% right. being a (young) mother is a sacrafice, and she must sacrifce her extra few hours of sleep on certain days to accomidate both you and the baby. Its unfair for her to expect you to be up until midnight to work around HER scedule! Tell her, its getting overwhelming and you need change. You are doing HER a favor, not vice versa!!. stop spoiling your 18 year old, and let her know that she decided to be a woman this early, so she needs to deal with it. I wish i had a mom like you with my kids, although a great grandma she is, she will NOT go for that!!

shasta

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