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Do you think Red Roof Inn would hire a 17 year old?

Do you think these are justifiable reasons to ground a 17 year old for three weeks?

  • Essentially, I did three things that I got grounded for a week each for, and I think my dad is being insanely harsh. The first thing I got grounded for was painting a wall in a guest room without asking for permission first. This may seem really irresponsible, but the thing is I'm a professional painter. I've been represented by an art gallery since I was fifteen and people hire me to paint murals in their home. I got paid $2500 for the last one I did, and the family hired me again for another one. Also, I've painted one in almost every other room already. I think the main reason he was angry was that my dog knocked over the paint and ran through it and then the whole house because he saw a cat in the backyard and went ballistic, and it created a huge mess....... which I cleaned up without being asked. The second thing I was grounded for was overdue library books and cds. I'd checked a ton of them out last fall and essentially forgot all about them. They were in my locker at school which I never, ever use. In my defense, one of my closest friends suddenly died from complications with his Lupus and I wasn't quite with it mentally last fall. The fine doubles every month when it's not paid. I didn't know this. It's over $100, which I said I'd pay for. I handed him the cash, but he didn't take it and grounded me. The other thing is because I canceled an appointment he'd made for me with a nutritionist because he's freaking obsessed about my weight loss and blames it on me being a vegan, which is total malarky. I told him flat-out that I didn't want to go and not to make an appt. The nutritionist's office is at a hospital and I HATE hospitals. I did not know that it's a $105 fee if you cancel with less than 24 hours notice, but I said I'd pay for it. If I was an adult, I'd just pay the fine. It's Valentine's night of my senior year, and I'm grounded even though my dad is going to be going out with his fiancee tonight. I'm supposed to just sit here, on my own, on freaking Valentine's Day. I've never been in serious trouble, and I'm currently ranked first in my class and the captain of my dance troupe and on the swim team, so I'm not a bad kid. I've been really depressed lately and this is the first time in forfreakingever I really, desperately want to go out. Do you think I have grounds to make another case to him? Sorry this is so long. Advice is appreciated.

  • Answer:

    Sorry this is so long, but the advice may be appreciated: You are a great kid that will have a long and prosperous adult life, I'm sure. But you also have a good father. Discipline is not about punishment. You are his disciple, you are not getting his point because while you are cooperative and constructive, you are not respectful. He is trying to teach and polish not destroy your character. It is not about the money or how good you paint or your grades. So if you were not talented and painted horrible and had no money you would accept the grounding? Of course not. I teach my daughter manners because good manners will serve her and deliver a good life to her, they are a tool for her to use. It is not for the benefit of the family name, pride, or for even the benefactor but for her own sake that I discipline her in all. Look at your own writing. You didn't ask about something that was not yours to alter. You borrowed property of another and didn't return it as agreed. You took action in all cases and even some responsibility but you need to respect that if someone did any of those things to you, it probably wouldn't be acceptable. I grew up unsupervised and could do whatever I wanted all the time. At the time it seemed great but now as a parent I know it equates to ignorance about adult life, which is what you are about to begin. I tell my daughter all the time that the only thing worse than your parent on your case is a parent who doesn't care enough to bother with anything including discipline. Bummer for your 21 days but it is a small exercise demand in exchange for a great adult life that will be 60 yrs or so. Take action next time, be proactive, so you will not get grounded but low and behold you will suddenly be a person that is also respectful and not causing anyone else distress. Follow his lead even if you don't like it. Would you have to understand every biological and chemical process, do the physics calculations explaining how a bunch of sit-ups would benefit you to get the benefit from doing sit-ups? NO! You just have to do them to get the benefit. He didn't say no joy for three weeks either. Look for the good things in life and you will find them, look for the bad and you'll find them. They're both ubiquitous

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Just because you are a great artist and get paid for your work doesn't mean your father wanted it on the guest room wall. You should have asked for permission before you did it. So yes, he was right for grounding you for that. Forgetting so many books, and CD's that they rack up a 100 fee is pretty irresponsible, and yes he was right in grounding you for that as well. As for the nutrionist, he is juts worried about your weight loss, which could be something wrong with your diet. Why not just go there and talk to the person and get it all straightened out and be able to tell your father that being a vegan isn't the problem? Instead you made it look like you were afraid the nutritionist would tell you that it was your diet was unhealthy. If you "know" his reasoning is malarky it wouldn't have hurt to go. So yes, he was right in grounding you then a well. Being at a hospital or not, it was a bad excuse. You are not a bad kid no, but you have done some irresponsible things. Your father punished you accordingly. I'm sorry you missed out on Valentine's Day, but maybe once you are done being grounded you can do something with your friends. Maybe you can ask your father for a compromise that someone can come over and spend the evening with you or watch a movie with someone?

Zyggy

well im sorry but with your childish attitude about being grounded shows me that you are irresponsible and yes the punishment fits. grow up and get over it. gees its only 3 weeks out of your life after all. when you start to act like an adult then he will start to treat you like one.

madiesmum

I agree with Zyggy. You are 17 years old- part of growing up is behaving responsibly. One of my daughters is vegan- it's a lot more complicated that just not eating meat products. Combining foods to make complete proteins that replace the protein you aren't getting from meat is so important to your health. Perhaps your Dad wanted you to see a nutritionist for guidelines on how to do this? I'm sure you feel like you can make your own decisions, but the bottom line is, you live under your Dad's roof, and the house rules stand. I wish you well in the future. I can tell you that parents don't ground kids just to be mean and lord their authority over them. I've raised 4 daughters, and the teen years were the hardest for all of us. Now they are grown, and live on their own, and because I was a "Mean Mom", they have grown to be responsible, happy, successful women. Take the lesson from this grounding, apologize to your Dad (the mature thing to do), and put it behind you. Tomorrow can be a fresh start. Don't let bitterness and anger grow- you will only make it worse for yourself.

dans big sis

No one here is going to be able to get your fathers mind changed so what you must be looking for is someone to agreee that your father is wrong here...but....he is your father and the authority figure in your life and therefore he is NOT wrong....case closed...respect your father and accept your consequences and stop feeling sorry for yourself so you can learn from your mistakes..accept the fact that you made mistakes and stop trying to make excuses. As for Valentines Day Night...who cares, it is made up ...if there is someone you love then tell her all the other days of the year...you don't need retailers to tell you when to say I love you.

alicialions

I think he was right to punish you for those things. Just take your punishment and leave it alone, 3 weeks isn't that long.

Ashley

All things considered three weeks seems a bit long but you need to recognize the lessons your dad is trying to teach you... 1. You should have asked permission to paint the mural. It is your dads house afterall. You must always respect other peoples property. 2. If you "never, ever" use that locker then the books and cd's wouldn't have been there in the first place. You have to take responsibility for certain things... ie returning borrowed items on time. 3. He's your dad, he will always care (and worry) about you. If you are certain your diet and weight are ok humor him and go to the nutritionist. Perhaps he/she can provide you with information you can share with your dad so he'll know you're ok. Talk to him about setting up an appointment with a nutritionist that has an office outside the hospital. I think with items 2 & 3 your dad is trying to show you that even though you're willing to pay the fees, you just can't do whatever you want and throw money at the problem to fix it. Sometimes you just have to do the right thing. From what you've described you sound like a good kid and I'm sure your dad is proud of you. Talk to him some more about it and maybe you can get your sentence reduced! Good Luck!

Proud Mommy

I do think that what he did was a little rash, I understand why he got mad, but at the same time, I think the punishment didn't fit the crime. Maybe you can talk to him when you know he is calm.

lilhbg

1: You should have asked permission, it is your dad's house, and not yours. 2: Yes, racking up $100 worth of late fees is VERY irresponsible. Perhaps your dad is trying to teach you that money won't get you out of everything? However, grounding for a week is a bit excessive, and I think that you just having to pay $100 worth of fees would have tuaght you your lesson suitably. 3: Your dad was totally right here. However, you should know that doctors and experts in hospitals aren't usually stuck in the part that the patients are in - usually the part of the hospital that they're in mostly resembles a sort of office complex. Worst-case scenario, you go to the nutritionist and find out that your vegan diet is responsible for your weight loss (and they can be very unhealthy if not done properly) but then the nutritionist can tell you how to have a proper, healthy vegan diet and your problem is solved. Best-case scenario, the nutritionist tells you that your diet is perfectly healthy and you're at a fine weight and your dad is happy. Besides, what's the matter with staying in the house on Valentine's Day? I had to work for 9 hours today, and I'm staying in on my own. It's not the end of the world, although it is depressing...

Twilight Princess

you dont pay the mortgage, next time ask tto paint the wall

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