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Parents help please? Im confused?

• I posted this in this category because I needed advice from parents as everyone else is immature. Sorry this is long. Im 15 ( and a girl if that matter). When I was a few months old my Mum and Dad divorced. We lived in england at that time with his three other children from previous marriage ( that wife died). When they divorced I saw my Dad on and off until i was two. My Mum's family are originally from Scotland so we moved back up there. When I was two my Mum accepted a job in Germany and we left to live there for two years. My Mum an Dad kept in contact for a while but it was lost. He went on to get married and have 3 more children :) So did my Mum. I have grown up with my Mum saying constantly bad things about my Dad. I have listened to them and taken them in more times than I can count and truth be told they make me feel awful and more "abandoned". I was told about my Dad when I was 7 years old as my Mum was going through a nasty custody battle whick lasted 7 years between her and my brothers Dad and she thought the truth would come out. Last June I got in touch with my three older half sister ( aged 16, 19 and 32) through facebook and we get on really well. "Ellie" ( 16 years old ) and I talk everyday and we are quite close. My Dad know Im in touch and as far as I know "Ellie" said he was very happy about it. She told me he "let me go" because he didnt want me going between homes. My Mum said that is the kind of guy he is but its still no excuse. ( He did not pay any money for me at all) Im not angry with him at all. I know that sounds bad but Im not. I cant help the way I feel, I just want to know my Dad. His third marriage is ending and he is moving out with "Ellie" in the next few months. "Ellie" said that that is when he will probably get in touch with me. The thing is, the more time goes on, the more my Mum says bad stuff, the more I feel hurt and like my Dad doesnt want me. Its affecting my every day life. Im so emotional, my grades are dropping and I keep having panic attacks in school. My Mum and I dont get on, which is an understatement. Because of things that have gone on in the past 12 years we are practically enemies, she says she hates me all the tme and I dont blame her. I could be better daughter. I just dont know what to do anymore..just general advice..I really want to know my Dad. He told "Ellie" to say to me this; "When things calm down at home and I move out I will hopefully get in contact with you. Im always thinking of you and I love you very much" That had me in tears for day. I just..arrrg! Some help :) xx

• Answer:

  Listen, there is not much you can do right now but behave and get on your moms good side and maybe your Dad will want to be a part of your life and sometime you can go visit with him. He may contact you or he may not. The things your mom is saying about him could be true, you have to understand that she knew him very well at one point. You have never known him. Neither of them are very stable to be going into and out of 3rd marriages. I think I would give it a rest at this point. But non the less, you will have to learn all the things about your father on your own. If he calls he calls, if not then he doesn't. Don't let it consume your life though. Also, remember that your mom did stick around to raise you and did so on her own with no help from him. That is something to be thankful for. I'm sure she didn't like not having help from him and doing it on her own and should never have taken it out on you or even let you know for that matter but when times are hard sometimes people just loose a lot of control and things happen and we don't think about our actions. Raising children is hard. It's a job, and takes work. Be glad she was there for you all this time. You should really pay close attention to your school work right now and give your mom an easier time. Do some extra things around the house that she needs without her having to ask and do them at least once a week when needed. Wash your own clothes, make your bed every morning, keep your room clean. Cook dinner one night a week. Take on a little responsibility at home. Your Dad will come around when the time is right. He could be everything your mom said or he could be good. There is no way to know until that time comes. But be good to yourself and show him that you can be grown up and responsible as a person. You have to remember that he doesn't really know you any more than you know him. He says he does because he knew you as a baby but that's it. He really doesn't know you as a person. Be prepared for him to be good or bad and don't take it to heart. You are a good kid and need to be more worried about your self than your parents. It's hard I know. My parents divorced when I was 9 and they are both on their 3rd marriages each, they don't have other kids besides my brother and me, I was adopted at birth and always wanted to know my birth mother as much as you want to know your Dad. It consumed my life until I had my own child. But I did learn after finding my birth mother that it's not all it's cracked up to be and really not worth it. Usually they are what they have done to you. Good Luck and email me if you need to :)