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Give my baby away? I have no other choice...?

  • Hi I am 22 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years now, and I decided I was going to keep the baby. I am turning 19 next month, I know it sounds really young, but at that point I thought we could do it. I had a steady job that paid well, but I recently got fired because my being pregnant was an inconvenience to them. He works also, setting up and delivering copiers. He seems excited about our baby, but he does not save a dime for her. I only have a little over 4 grand in the bank, and he has none, in fact he doesnt even have a bank account, he just keeps his money under his mattress, and takes out about 50 a day for his drug habits. Well I never spend any money on myself any money I get I have to save to make up for what he is ruining. He is on vacation now, and spent the only money he has ever saved up in his life on that (2500). I couldnt go because I need to save my money and he didnt want me there anyways. He did have a bank account, and managed to pinch away 400 dollars, but then he got an ATM card and used all the money for himself. No I am sitting here alone, applying for food stamps while he is on vacation, and I am seriously thinking that we need to give our baby away. It is going to be heartbreaking, but I know that deep down he would not care if she lived or died, as long as he had a buzz. Do you think I am being ridiculous or thoughtful? I am trying SO HARD to find another job, but in this economy it just seems like noone wants to hire. Thank you for your opinion and, please don't judge me I LOVE MY BABY I just want whats best for her

  • Answer:

    awww..im so sorry to hear that! I think you are being completely sensable about this. your husband doesn't seem like very much help. why are you even with him. Anyways, I think under your situation, you have every right to give your baby up for adoption. i understand you are not getting an abortion and i really can tell that you love this baby, i would like to give you 4 possible choices. 1) "You don't have to give the baby away if your having financial problems. When the baby is born you can apply for child benefit and the baby will be paid $80 a month so that it helps you to the take care of the baby. It will be paid into your bank account." this quote/comment from karen ishiguro is true. 2) get an online job/sue for losing your job to due to pregnancy. 3) instead of getting rid of your baby, get rid of your husband. 4) if you decide to go for the adoption where you choose a couple to give you baby to, may i suggest angeladoption here, they have open adoption, and their agreement allows you to see your baby every couple months and you could have a great relationship with the adoptive parents. if you would like to consider this optional but fantastic and heart loving website, here is the link: http://www.angeladoptioninc.com/

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Maybe you should think of giving your boyfriend away instead?

Gopher

If they fired you for being pregnant, you can sue their *** off. That's illegal.

Bonafide Hustler

Hell, This is a nobrainer. Keep the baby, get rid of the child. You already knew that though. Your entire post was all about how worthless he is. Do what's REALLY best. You can do it, I promise.

Firstly I am disgusted you were fired from your job for being pregnant! I say sue them, or threaten to sue them if you do not get your job returned or compensation! Your husband/partner sounds like a boy, not a man. Tell him he will never see his daughter again if he does not quit his drug habits and start giving you money to help! If he refuses to do these things, divorce him and MAKE him pay you, stick by your child, it is worth so much more than that useless man!

.:Andrea:. Vass up?

Get shot of your selfish boyfriend and keep the baby, that's all I can say

Titch

Wow! Dont give your baby away. You will get to love them very much, and parenting is a great experience. Think about Jon and Kate plus 8... How Jon is leaving Kate... and she has to watch over 8 kids. Just relax... im sure people will be happy to help you raise your baby... so keep trying and i hope you make a good descision.

Blondie:)

No this is not a silly question, you need to consider all things when you are pregnant. First -- if you think you were fired for being pregnant, here in the US that is against the law. You could have grounds for a lawsuit. Look in the phone book for legal aid (free) advice. 2nd -- dump the boyfriend. Drug habits and babies don't mix. He is not putting you or your baby first (probably in the grips of addiction and incapable of doing so), so you need to change that. Do you have any other friends or family to turn to? 3rd - Can you sit down with a parent? One of his parents? Don't know your situation, but grand babies are precious and they may be able to help you out. Good luck. I will be thinking good thoughts for you.

alter_tygo

1) They CANT fire you for being prenant 2) Your boyfriend is a douchebag, and if you stay with him and someone calls CPS on you for some reason, you can get in big trouble for letting him live there. My ex boyfriend is spending 7 years in prison right now because his girlfriend at the time was doing drugs and he never turned her in. 3) You're obviously responsible, keep your baby, lose the BF.

Rae's Momma

You don't have to give the baby away if your having financial problems. When the baby is born you can apply for child benefit and the baby will be paid $80 a month so that it helps you to the take care of the baby. It will be paid into your bank account. You can also apply for Medicaid for Pregnant Women ~ check with your local health department of Division of Children & Families for instructions. You may have to take some time and go to their office but will likely be able to apply on-line. They have a couple different programs she may be eligible for depending on her income. Apply for WIC also, they will help with nutritional guidance and provide milk, cheese, eggs, etc. during the pregnancy and a little bit afterwards. They will also help with nutrition for the newborn if she does not breastfeed. Another one is: You will qualify for WIC (Women's Infant & Children) They will subsidize certain foods while she is pregnant and after she gives birth if she is nursing. If not nursing, they will subsidize formula. You might also qualify for Smart Start if she is a full time student. They subsidize daycare and the parent fee is based on how many credit hours you take vs. your income. I would think you would qualify for Medicare. My best suggestion would be to contact your local WIC office (can find it online) or your local Child Services center and ask what you DO qualify for... Perhaphs until further notice (or until she graduates), you could go work... Maybe for a museum, or teaching art to young children??? Something in your field, but that brings in a more steady income. For items, you can try lookinf at ebay and www.craigslist.com Fonti: www.mommy-talk.com a GREAT support Forum for moms to be, moms and now Dads too! Come check us out

Karen Ishiguro

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