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How do I take care of my baby sparrow?

Someone gave me their newborn baby boy and ask me to take care of them for a few days? ?

  • I was at a children's party with my nieces and nephews, their parents, my husband and a host of other children and their parents. This particular group of families are all politically independent and prefers to live outside of politics and legal stuff as much as possible. A pretty wholesome group of people. Very natural, free-flowing people so it is not weird or interesting that this person ask me to take care of their baby boy for a few days. No, we did not know each other or anything. Generally, we exchange contact information and they give me the baby supplies. My husband and I and our family took the baby home later realizing that the person who gave us the child did not give us a contact number or any supplies. My husband and I went to the store and bought diapers and allergy free formula for the baby plus other minor things to get us through a few days. He immediately became attached to us. We began to think how we would love to have a child of our own. A few days past and we had to go back to the location of where the baby was given to us because my husband left something there. We saw the couple who gave us the baby. We greeted each other and they seemed very happy. They asked us if we would like to keep the baby and raise him as our own. They explained that they were in no position to raise him, they do not love him and he deserve to be with a family who would love him. They further expressed how they did not want to turn him over to the courts or sign away their parental rights and have him go in the system. They explained how they have been observing us (my husband and I) for a while and observed that we would be a wonderful set of parents for their child. They shared with us some things they did such as neglect him and felt really really guilty about it which is why they decided to look for someone else who would like a child. That moment was very interesting for us. Both my husband and I agreed but then we asked if we needed to go through a social worker or the courts to have everything switched over. The baby was only 5 weeks old. The parents did not want that because they knew that the social worker would take the baby from both families and put him in a foster home. They feared that tremendously. They were really adamant about the baby staying with us. It was like an adoption without legal authorities being involved. Is there a name for that???? We set up a meeting at our home to have the parents sign papers and agreements that we came up with together. At that meeting the parents gave us everything that belonged to the baby including his birth certificate with OUR names on it, his medical records, his pediatrician, name change forms and a bunch of other papers, brand new breast pump, sooooooooooo many clothes from size 0-3 months up to toddler clothes all organic and mostly new. The only used clothes were the newborn clothes. So many shoes, hats, outdoor wear, crib, bassinet, swing, bouncy chair, 7 different carriers, 57 huge bags of diapers size ranging from newborn to pull-ups, about 100 containers of organic wipes, 12 diaper bags, a play pin, bedroom decorations, baby first aid kits, medications, 4 different strollers, 4 different carseats, and so many things that you need for a baby. They were set and my husband and I did not have to purchase anything. I had my lawyer present and they had their lawyer present. Though we did not go through the court, we agreed to have our lawyers. I figured we would do this openly where their child will still know them and visit but they wanted to cut all strings. They signed away their rights of that child to my husband and I. They made it clear that if somehow the courts became involved, the whole agreement between us would mean that they gave us permission to babysit. They refuse to sign their child to the courts. They heard so much about the system and it would kill them if they did that to their child. They would rather take him back than to have him in the system. Anyways, the mother requested that I breastfeed. I do not have any children so I was wondering if that is possible? If I start pumping and stimulating, how long will it take for the milk to come down? The only concern we had was the cultural difference. We are African American and the baby is mixed hispanic and white. He will one day begin to see that he is a different color from my husband and I. We asked the parents what we should tell him. They said to tell him that he is a special baby. Anyway, these are my questions: 1. We are are the type of family that prefers not to be involved with legals and courts and the system as well but never thought this would come up. I posted what happened and how we basically took on parenthood. Is that enough? 2. How long does it take for the milk to come down once I start pumping? 3. Should I change pediatricians or continue taking him to the same? By the way, his pe

  • Answer:

    It is possible to breastfeed your adopted child. I have seen information about it on the website for the Australian Breastfeeding Association. Contact them for more info perhaps. But I must say that sounds like it is the least of your problems. You need to be speaking to your lawyer about making the adoption legal. What if the parents change their mind when the child is 5 and you have no legal rights. It may seem unlikely but would you be willing to risk it?

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""if you did not go throught the courts the child is not legaly yours. why would she want you to breast feed if she didnt want the child in the first place. You cant just start pumping and produce milk you have to becomr pregnant to produce milk. SOMETHING SMELLS FISHY"" YES, you can produce milk without being pregnant. It takes a LOT of work and help from a lactation consultant but it certainly can be done.

rockparkarabians

OMG this forum is not the ideal place to post a question of such magnitude be prepared for all kinds of mixed answers here! OK - milk willnot come it is a hormonal thing that takes place during pregnancy so that is not going to happen. They left him with you then started telling you how to feed him Umm? You say they observed you for sometime - so how did they know your names to get baby registered into your name ? This does not sound right. The Registry office in the district of the birth is automatically notified of al births and deaths. Even if they went to a different Registry Office a call would HAVE to be made to confirm validity of legalities - like names etc birth mother name occupation and same for Father (if applicable) Something about his is not right. You say you had meeting with lawyers present - well these are the folks you are paying for good solid legal advice - what did they say ?? If it was nothing then change your representation. The fact Mum & Dad have approached you to take their child is one thing and if they are trying to keep him safe full marks but with this action has become great responsibility. What of your work collegues and family friends - don't you think they will haev a question or 2 of their own - will you be ready for with any answers ? No and don't expect others to collude with you in the same way, someone will spill the beans about this - you are not out of the woods by a long way. What if the child gets ill and needs a kidney - how will you get hold of perhaps the one person that may or may not be able to provide it ? What do you tell schools ? You are trying to get so many people to collude with this charade I doubt it will work UNLESS you get proper legal advice.. This forum is not the place Thank you for taking him on with such gusto and I really hope it works out for you ALL but a thousand questions are already running through my mind as I'm sure there are other viewers of your question. I'm Mum of 3 kids and admire your willingness to take this on but I think your naivity will bite you in the bum sometime down the line and you need to be prepared for perhaps this little fella being prised away from you when you say you already love him. He is only 5 wks old and is therfore stillunder the umbrella of "the very system" his parents don't want him to monitored by. There are inoculations to be received at varying stages and don't you think they will ask a question of 2 themselves ? You cannot say you have a letter and knock one up on PC & forge a signature - her in UK this would not be acceptable at all. I'm sorry if I appear to be pouring spilt milk across your happy threshold but I really don't think this has been thought through. They system is there to prevent things such as this - otherwise there'd be a fair few teenage mums and other mums doing this on a regular basis. What if these natural parents clean up their act and one day realise they made a terrible mistake and come seeking you out - are you absolutely sure the paperwork you have will keep you and most importantly that 5 week old baby out of trouble ? What Lawyer would go along with something that sounds so underhand and highly illegal ??? Pray in what ever way you understand that this gets sorted for the sake of that baby boy and your own peace of mind. I tell you right you - what ever cloud you are on get off it and take stock of reality NOW

Sidewinder

Ok first of all do a google search on breast feeding adopted children. It can be done. Second if you don't make the adoption legal there is a good chance the child will be taken from all of you. And a forged birth certificate will land you in jail. They might not like to play by the rules but sometimes you've got to play the game to win. The entire situation seems very fishy and if I were you I'd protect myself. The above answer was just incase that crazy story is true. I have to say, with all of that stuf given to them at this "baby shower" it would seem obvious that many MANY people care about this child, those item aren't cheap. 1) These people will ask questions and put pressure on the parents to find out what happened to the baby. What happens when they are backed into a corner and you are accused of kidnapping? 2) With so many people showing so much love and support for this baby why on earth would these people hand this child over to a stranger?

BetterThanYou

This is fake! And if it is not... God help that child! what if after 5 years of raising that child, the family wants the child back and you cant do anything about that... Why would you put the child through that and yourselves... get it done legally!

Sal

I say this is fake, Sorry but they wouldnt by 7 diffrent carriers and alot of strollers if they didnt care. :(

*Pinky*

Sorry if it's not, but this sounds so fake. They don't love their child but they have 7 different carriers. They neglect the baby but bought 4 different car seats and strollers? Why would you buy that much stuff? I know buying things for your child and loving your child are two different things, but this is fishy. And I don't think any lawyer would go through with an adoption process that had a birth certificate with your names on it. She wants you to breastfeed but doesn't love her baby and neglects him? I say fake.

Nerdy MILF

snap out of your little fantasy world. "They were really adamant about the baby staying with us. It was like an adoption without legal authorities being involved. Is there a name for that????" - yea, it's called "kidnapping" thanks for the interesting story, i don't even have to watch soap operas now after reading this. you sound like you're writing a story for a novel or a made for tv movie.

I♥Y!A

I'm sorry but I don't trust one single word that you typed. They don't love their son but it would kill them for him to go into the 'system'? They don't love the child but he already has 7 baby carriers, 57 bags of wipes? They don't know you from adam but they have 'chosen' you to care for their son? This does not add up at all. All those gifts from a baby shower for a child they didn't want? Don't try to tell me that they wanted the baby before he was born, had the biggest baby shower in the history of the world, birthed him and then decided to give him away? And you expect us to believe that they put you adopting him ahead of any of the wonderfully generous people who had been at his shower? They knew those guys alot better and at least some of those people have been parents judging by the gifts of second hand items. You are a liar. Read back what you've written and you'll see why no-one believes you! ''Oh, by the way,'' if you are going to try to tell such a massive porkie, do it propery. My advice would be to start small and build up to something this big.

Bugsy

if you did not go throught the courts the child is not legaly yours. why would she want you to breast feed if she didnt want the child in the first place. You cant just start pumping and produce milk you have to becomr pregnant to produce milk. SOMETHING SMELLS FISHY

puresugar078

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