How do mums who were unable to exclusively breastfeed feel about the treatment and lack of support?

You have to supply nutrition in whatever form you can or your baby won't gain weight so don't beat yourself up. I didn't have the same problem as you did but it did take me a good month to get my son to latch and feed properly. I was in awful pain if you count all the feeds a baby needs within a month but it finally worked out. I do have a friend who just didn't supply enough breast milk and tried every gadget under the sun, supplemented with formula through a french nursing system to act like the baby was nursing while being supplemented through small tubes at the same time the baby was on her breast but she just couldn't continue. I really am surprised you have received blank stares from the health community in your situation. I do find myself as a mother who nursed angry when women just stick a bottle of formula in their kid just because they couldn't get the hang of it within the first day or two of delivery but you have obviously really tried. All I can say is that if your child has a tongue issue along with having inverted nipples and it just doesn't work out with the nursing then just abandon it and go exclusive with formula. You have way too many other things to do when caring for a baby then to lose your mind over this.

wowee I only read half of that, as there is so much info. All I can say is that I feel like I got the help and support from the NHS, my husband and my friends that I needed, which made me a successful breastfeeder for almost 10 months.

I am sorry you have been made to feel this way ,you are doing a great job,and must have a lot of anxiety about your sons condition ,I had my son prematurely and he was too small to feed the only was I could do it was to express and he was tube fed ,luckily the special care staff made me feel ok ,but the expectation ,guilt and failure is awful after 2 months ,he still could no longer feed andDr'ss advised to have a rich formula,at this point developed a life threatening stomach disorder, which although not connected felt guilty for ,especially some health visitors attitude ,'oh so you choose to give up feeding him yourself',you are totally right that mums should not be made to feel like this ,I would keep way from narrow minded people,sometimes it is not best,I would support yourpetitionn as many others would attitudes need to change ,I hope you begin to feel that you are doing an amazing job with your son,there are so many challenges with parenthood ,mine areteenagerss and it never stops,the first few months should be a joy not a guilt trip ,I knew a girl feeding on demand who literally ended up in a mental hospital and her parents took the baby,all because of ridiculous expectations ,she knew better the 2nd time and her husband did the night feeds .

I'm so sick of stuck up b***** who thinks they are more superior than the formula feeding mothers just because they can breastfeed. I must admit, I was quite shallow minded towards formula feeding mothers before but after knowing friends and relatives who just couldn't breastfeed because of medical reasons had me changing my mind. Some breastfeeding mothers acts like formula feeding mothers are giving their babies poison. In my opinion as long as the baby is happy, healthy and thriving then the mothers are doing a good job and the breastfeeding mothers can mind their own babies and business.

my fiance had problems too and felt lost. we would both support a petition

It's difficult. I'm bemused - why would you have to top up with formula after 24 hours? It's completely normal not to have your milk come in for 5 days! I wonder whether the left hand and right hand got out of sync here. A mum who is trying to breast feed _should not_ have been told to top up with formula that quickly. If absolutely necessary, you should have been helped to give your baby some donated breast milk with a syringe. I'd think it would be completely dreadful for the NHS to start "supporting" mothers to formula feed when they'd expressed a desire to breastfeed and their milk hadn't even come in yet! I'm afraid this does sound a bit like "of course the NHS should encourage everyone to breastfeed, except me because I'm special". You can't have it both ways. It's impossible to both say to people "you really should try to breastfeed" and "it's just as good to not breastfeed". You do just have to be bloody-minded about it. You've had people turn up their noses at you because you don't excusively breastfeed. I've had people turn up their noses at me because not only did I have an epidural with my first (oh noes, you put DRUGS in your baby!) followed by a C-section, I then had an elective C-section with my second. I mean, everyone knows that means I'm too posh to push and too idle to try, right? No, it doesn't. And I'm absolutely for the NHS pushing natural childbirth. If that means me feeling uncomfortable that I couldn't do it, so be it. Along the same lines, I think that if encouraging people to breastfeed means you feel uncomfortable that they're not telling you that what you had to do was ideal, that's just tough. It _wasn't_ ideal. I think you know that. You simply have to accept that not everyone can do the ideal thing for their child, and that you did the best you could. I don't think "proving" anything is going to help. How are you going to determine it? You get to "prove" it because you have inverted nipples so you get help, but another woman having the exact same issues but without inverted nipples can't prove she should be having problems so doesn't get any? It's back to you being a special case again. We're all special cases and it's not always obvious why. At some point we have to stand up and say "the advice is the best thing there is for the majority of people, I tried, it didn't work for me, I refuse to feel guilty about that." Because, when it comes down to is, the only way to make everyone perfectly happy is for the NHS advice to be "formula feeding is just as good as breastfeeding, if breastfeeding isn't easy right away don't bother persevering." And I don't think either of us think that would be good. Individual mums being cruel because what was easy for them was impossible for you? I'm afraid that's just the internet for you.

I'm sorry you experienced poor support in your area. Different NHS areas vary a lot and it is frustrating and disappointing. It's another 'postcode lottery' I guess. It is unfair that your baby's tongue tie took so long to correct - not enough importance placed on yet another BF issue - getting TTs snipped asap (ie. within the first week). While the NHS promotes 'breast is best', the appropriate level of expert support to help mums with any feeding issue isn't provided. They rely too much on the BF associations like ABM, BfN, LLL and NCT picking up the pieces with their voluntary BF experts (the national BF helpline is also staffed by ABM & BfN BF counsellors who train voluntarily). What I believe is required is a number of BF counsellors trained by one of the BF associations, so that's 2 years training; and a IBCLC qualified lactation consultant for particularly specialised issues - all paid well, as we're all aware of the statistics that mean that formula-fed babies and their mothers will (on average) cost the NHS more in their lifetimes. I'm not entirely sure how your proposed petition would be worded, but I would support a petition for a requirement for an IBCLC and trained BFCs for every PCT. I feel this would especially help the mums that do want to BF but don't get the appropriate support meaning that they have no option but to stop exclusive BF.

I didn't feel I had much support while breastfeeding either. I fed my son until he was 3and a half months and I just had to give it up and put him on formula. He would always pull at the breast, come off cry I could spend an hour at least trying to get him fed but he kept pulling off and crying until IO had no choice but to give him formula, it was either that or he didn't get fed. I took him to doctors and health visitors, none of them could give an explanation as to why he was doing it, most health visitors had the cheek to blame be and my 'technique' I tried every technique under the sun all to no avail. So after switching to formula he got slightly better at feeding and then all went down hill again, he didn't want his milk, he would wriggle and cry, no doctor or health visitor yet again could give an explanation. Then when my son was 5 months old I found out myself through researching the internet that he is lactose intollerant, why didn't any of the health profesionals pick this up? I took him to the doctors and demanded that he was tried on a lactose free formula and hey presto a week later he was like a different child, all of that stress all of that worry and frustration could have been saved had I had a little more support right from the beginning. I was told countless times, no formula breast is best but it can't always work like that and I wish that some people could be a little more sympathetic about that.