How can I build up my 7yr old daughter's confidence and self esteem?

Get her active...not by force but find out things she likes to do. Let her discover her intrests and hobbies so she has something to be proud of. Give her opportunities to do things she can look back on and say, "Remember when I did that!" Try sports, or even just going with her to places. Give her beutiful surroundings so she feels happier. Bright colors help, and getting her together with friends or people who could become her friends. Now, I'm only 15 but I sure do know what I would have wanted that I never had. GOODLUCK!!!

My daughter is now 17 yrs old. An honor student. I am a Very proud Mom. What I did over the years is say to her at least 10 times a day. Mom loves you and if you have any problems I am here for you!! Don't worry about your little problems cause when you get older what will you do about the big problems. If you do have a big problem then come to Mom and I will do anything I can to solve it for you. Now go and play and bring home a very good mark in school for your Mom that loves you sooo much. That did it for her. She is starting university next year. From Toronto, Canada with a smile

Perhaps her feelings of being stupid and hating herself is coming from another source. Ask your daughter where she has gotten the idea that she is stupid or dumb. Then in order to build herself up, have her write all the things she is good at or likes about herself. You do the same. Then read them out loud to each other. Have her read them once or twice a week and encourage her to add to the list when she thinks of something new. You may not know it but some of it could even come from her seeing you get down on yourself, something you may do without even noticing it.

all you can do is what your doing, it could be hereditary if u lacked confidence when you were little

Self-esteem and self confidence are the bi-products of meeting challenges and overcoming obstacles, e.g., beating your last time in a marathon, etc. Assist your daughter by getting her involved in activities she enjoys, and which will reward her for achievement, eg., karate, team sports,dance, etc. There is a lot of pressure on young girls to be pretty, skinny, and to dress in the latest fashions (sigh)--yes, even at 7 years old. Help your daughter put her energies into activities that lead to achievement and her self-esteem will go up. When she says things like, "I'm so stupid" help her turn it around by replying with something like, "Now, that can't be true and you know it. It looks like you've made a mistake [that's when kids are most likely to say they're stupid], so let't take a look at what you did and how you want to do it differently next time.". Help her to reframe her mistakes as opportunities for applying her brain to solve problems in a different way. When she does, why she's met another challenge hasn't she? :-) I hope this helps. If you find that the issue is not improving and affecting her relationships (friends,family) and/or school functioning, I suggest bringing her to a therapist--the therapist should assist you with helping your daughter as well as helping your daughter directly. All the best to you.

Well, I think the first thing you should do is try and build up your confidence. You said that you still have issues with your confidence and your daughter might see that. I would say the first step is building up your self confidence and your daughters might follow. Secondly, I would take her out on special mother and daughter things. Maybe you could go get your nails done together and go out to dinner after. This would make her feel like someone really cares about her. I'm not saying that everytime she looks down go buy her something, I just think its important for kids to be spoiled once in a while. Most importantly, just let her know that she is loved. She knows that you love her by you telling her but next time show her. Im sure you do already, but maybe one day after school just sit on her bed with her and talk about her day. Lastly, maybe tell her about how you feel about confidence. The worst thing in the world is to feel like your alone. Maybe thats how she feels. If she knows that shes not the only one, that her mom feels that same way also, she wont feel so different. Hope this helps....

Wow, it breaks my heart just reading this! I wish I had the answer to solve this problem because I hate to see kids like that. My son used to say things like that too but it was his way of trying to deflect the negative attention he was getting for doing something wrong. Is there anything she is really good at that she can be recongnized for? At my sons school, when kids make the honor roll, they announce their names over the intercom and everyone in the room cheers for them when it is announced. They also give out special awards for simple things. My son has recieved an award for "most improved grades" and "best attitude of the week". All things to improve their self-esteem. As far as herediary, I don't think so. I will say this... and I'm not accusing.... but take a step back and make sure you're not repeating the things that happened in your household, when you were young, that made you feel this same way. Sometimes we do these things and not even notice it. I am guilty of this sometimes... and when I catch myself, I apologize. Good Luck with this.

it's a learned behavior! you are probably SUBCONSCOUSLY showing your own insecurities about yourself... which makes your child feel "if there's something wrong with my mommy, there's something wrong with me!" honestly... i would see a psychologist if i were you. if you work on your own feelings about yourself SHE WILL FOLLOW! IF you don't see her progressing quickly enough get her some therapy also. I have a 14 year old step-daughter that deals with issues of dislike about her own physical appearance. not to scare you BUT, she tried to kill herself last summer. i don't want to point fingers at who's fault her low self-esteem coming from... but i wish her parents (my husband and his ex-wife) had dealt with her self-esteem issues when she was younger. as the mother of such a fragile child i really WOULD seek help NOW. there's a LOT that can be done if it's dealt with soon enough!

I can understand what you are goind through, my 9 ye. old son is the same way, I also have self confidence issues "my child hood was horrible" does she always say this or is during certain times or after school??? maybe she can sense how you feel inside about yourself. do you have other children? all i can say is keep praising her and maybe you can take her out for a mother, daughter day, just you and her and let her pick the activity for that day. let her help in the kitchen and if ever she makes a mistake tell her it's ok, that is how we learn is by making mistakes. if she messes something up or spills something tell her uh oh its ok it can be fixed or cleaned, will you please help me clean it up? just little things like that helps alot with my son. just remember no matter what a child does it can be fixed or cleaned up or even repaired. i am talking about material items in the house, like if she accidentaly breaks something or drops something. try this and hopefully i helped. have a great day and god bless.