Am I wrong continually trying to force my child to stop thumb sucking?

• My husband sucked his thumb when he was a child untill 8 years old, so did his sister and so did their mother. Our child started sucking her thumb when we took the dummy of her and continues to suck her thumb even though she is nealy 8. It's really difficult to let her do it for me because I can see her two front teeth are gradually sticking out. So over the years I have tried all different ways to make her stop thumb sucking. At the moment I tie big bandages round her thumbs at night to stop her sucking her thumbs in bed. My husband says I am damaging her self esteem and damaging her emotionally. He says she will stop sucking her thumb naturally and that if I keep trying to force her to stop she might even suck her thumb for longer. If you think I'm wrong, please tell me how to ignore this problem , please.

• Answer:

  8-year-olds often look like their reasonbly new second teeth are sticking out because the teeth are big for their mouths. I was a thumb-sucker, and so were my three kids. All four of us stopped on our own at different ages, and nobody got past elementary school still sucking their thumb. Three of us have non-stick-out top/front teeth. My daughter has her father's large teeth and my small mouth, so she had braces for a while; but I don't think it had anything whatsoever to do with the thumb issue. Its more likely - if your daughter's teeth are sticking out - its either her age or else she's inherited someone's overbite. My mother used to be reasonable about it: She'd just say, "Just don't suck your thumb outside. The other kids will laugh at you." (So I didn't.) My father was more of a pest about it, and I'd think, "Its my thumb. Why doesn't he leave me alone?!!" To put some perspective on it: I grew up with a cousin who was seriously handicapped and played with me from her wheelchair. Another relative lost her twenty-month old baby to a throat infection. Another relative has recently lost two pregnancies at six months. Have you seen the statistics on autism? Muscular dystrophy? Childhood leukemia? I don't think its so much that you're wrong. I think you're making a big deal out of a non-issue. When it comes down to it, if she grows up and the thumb makes her teeth stick out just tell her, "You wouldn't stop sucking your thumb, so now your teeth stick out. You're still pretty." If she wants braces she can pay for them herself. Note: It didn't seem to me that thumb-sucking had anything whatsoever to do with any kind of "comfort". It was a habit that gets start as a little kid, and it just stays. It was more a matter of having nothing to do. It is said that babies who suck their thumbs are more independent babies and aren't looking for the attention of others. I can testify, too, that the people I've known who were thumb-suckers are among the most emotionally solid, emotionally mature, children/people there could be. It doesn't lead to "bad things". It leads to outgrowing the habit in most people.