How To Know My School Placement?

In it right to punish a child for some they did in another school/state?

• My 12 year old stepdaughter has moved with her father and I. Pior to doin so she got in alot of troble with her mom, whether it was in school, towards teachers, students, etc. She also about 2 months ago wrote a letter to a teacher saying she wants to kill herself, they had her evaluated, i know she was seeing school coinselar as well as a therpist. Well after enrolling her in school here which is a little over 2 hours away. They placed her in in school suspension, principle says he dont feel comfortable placing her in regualr class because of disiplin record from other school. She went to court the same day the mother decided to knock on our door step at midnight, and her father and I dont know what the final decision was. They were talking about holding her back in the 6th grade and also transfering her to an alternative school. Well the princlple her says that if she was in an alternative school that they were gonna honor that decision. But if not she would stay in in school suspension and earn her way out. Well my delimma comes in, her mother had her at a very young age, so of course she is gonna treat her like more or an friend than a child. Her mother is also certified bipolar, etc. and very depressed. And there was never any real discipline. Well now she is in an very differnt, state, school system, and environment. And her father nor I play games with the kids in this household we expect nothin less than respect and good grades. I feel it is unfair of them to place her in an alternative placement (we stay in country there are no actual alternative schools). without giving her a chance. I feel they should try it out to see how she acts and then if she mess up of course put her in that placement. But i truely feel its unfair. What do you think of this situation becasue right now if and when the other school principle decided to call down here, thats how they will make their decision. Should they base it off of whats happened there? or do yoou think they should give her one final chance to see if her environment and parenting was really the issue? Think of it like a addict goin to see his probation officer, if they fail the drug test they go to jail. Her father and I really want this to work for her, and really want her to have this chance,, then if she messes it up she knows the consequence!!

• Answer:

  I think it is fair. Children need to learn there are consequences to their actions. She needs to learn that despite moving away from her problems, that she has to repair the damage she caused and earn her way out (to use your words). I understand you think it was environment and parenting, and it probably was. That should make it easier for her to get back to good (so to speak), because she will be in a new environment that is better for her. However if you feel strongly that she should just start over with a clean slate, you and your husband should be able to discuss a compromise with the school.