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Which school is the best for my daughter?

What is the best way to get 'justice' from a school for treating my daughter so badly?

  • My 7 year old daughter is in remission from childhood leukaemia. After she had finished the chemo and was physically well enough to care about herself again she became very sensitive about the way she looked without hair. Although they don't use that word with kids her age, she was to all intents and purposes depressed. Her body image was such that, in her mind, she saw herself as looking like a "boy". Every time she looked in the mirror she burst out crying. Although I wouldn't normally consider it appropriate for a child her age, I let her wear a little makeup- just rosy cheeks, nothing more 'adult' than that. She doesn't have eyeshadow or lipstick. I also agreed with her a few months ago that when the doctor said she was upto "fighting germs" well enough to cope with the risk of getting an infection, if she still wanted to, I'd take her to get her ears pierced. She got them done 2 weeks ago. Her confidence, self esteem and image of herself had been improving slowly but steadily for the last month or so. On Friday, she went back to school for half a day. The medical advice was that she could start going back for half a day every other day (ie three days a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday), and we arranged this through the educational welfare service. Her teacher and principal were complete b*****ds, I got a phone call saying she was being 'uncooperative' and asked me to go to school to see the principal, when I got there she was crying bitter tears. The teacher had told her to remove her bandana since 'hats' aren't allowed, and when she refused he took it off her head, exposing her still almost-bald head - which she is still extremely sensitive about, to the rest of the class. He also said the makeup was against school rules and tried sending her to the toilet to wash it off, and he told her that school rules also only allow plain studs - hers have small stones in them so since she can't change them yet she'll just have to take them out and let them heal over. I've told her she doesn't have to put up with that or go back, we'll homeschool her until we can get her into another school that will treat her as an individual - but emotionally she has been set back months, and I'm certainly not taking to any school at all until she is again mentally capable of coping with it. I really want these lot to get their backsides kicked so hard, not just for what they have done - although to be honest that is the main reason, but I also want to make sure they won't treat anyone else's child like this.

  • Answer:

    Was the school and teacher aware of your daughter's condition?

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Before you go to the expense of suing anyone, and possibly losing, I suggest you personally contact the Superintendent of the School Board. Also, if there is a PTA, contact the president of that group.

Patricia C

Wow. get a lawyer or something? im shocked that an educator would treat a chld with such a lack of compasion. i mean, i could understand if for some reason her wearing a bandana, earings, and little blush was distracting other students from learning, but that teacher was just being cruel for no reason.

Amanda C

Wow, most schools are very supportive and helpful and bend the "no hats" rule when it comes to cancer. That school acted completely inappropriate with your daughter! I would seriously call a lawyer, and have your lawyer contact the school. I'm pretty sure you can get them for harassment and emotional distress, at the very least.

SW

Call the school and throw a fit, then call the school board, write an editorial for your local newspaper and call your local news station. The way your daughter was treated in unacceptable. Spread the word how bad this school sucks and expose them publicly so everyone knows how they treated a poor child recovering from leukemia. they deserve to be embarrassed and you deserve an apology. Edit: When you call the newspaper or news station tell them you want your daughter's identity protected. If she would like to say something they can give her an alias or cast her in shadow on t.v. to protect her privacy. If not you can do all the talking. Expose these people for the jerks they are.

Zoe's Mom

Whether you want publicity or not this needs to be brought to the publics attention.That way it will not happen to another child.GOD bless your sweet daughter and may she get well body and soul.

Liz

What a terrible thing to hear about an institution treating a student which such inconsideration! I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and the horrible staff at her school! As a parent I share your outrage! Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to get justice, it is one of those situations where exposing the wrongdoers will also expose your daughter (in the sense that many people will know she has leukemia which will make an already vulnerable 7 year old little girl more self conscious). If you go to a newspaper to expose the wrong doing of the school, it will only give your daughter the type of attention she does not want, remember all she wants to blend in and be like other children her age.I would get the word out to your friends and family to vent but posting it to the general public will only make matters worse. Without a doubt, I would switch her school if possible. Our best wishes to you and your family during these difficult times.

KPNJ

Hello, I have had problems with 7 year olds 2nd grade teacher, We were stuck in Texas during hurricane ike so we missed the first week of school (one week only) anyway the teacher treated him harsly made him take tests and put F's on all of them constantly. F's in 2nd grade!!!! so i requested a meeting with the principal and of course got the same bs from her and that is absence would not be excused(its a freakin national disaster no power for 4 days.) so if he god forgib gets sick and misses a total of 14 days he could be left back. all and all I ended up moving to a town near by and he is in a much better school right now. its hard to win and sometimes they treat parents like we are kids. its ashame. common sense does not apply anymore.

Dr.MoonFaker

I would call the cancer treatment center and see if the can recommend a good lawyer and also see if you can get her in group therapy sessions at the hospital to learn to love herself regardless of how she looks. Teachers aren't allowed to touch students in any way. Removing her bandanna would require the teacher to touch her, I am sure she had it tied on tight enough so it couldn't easily slip off. I'm sorry your daughter was treated so poorly. I hope she is okay.

Alyssa and Chloe's Mommy

Publicity.

Cindy D

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