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How hard is it to switch back to public schools?

How can I switch my daughter schools without her thinking she is running away from her problems?

  • My daughter is 11. She went to the same elementary school from pre-k all the way to 4th grade. I could not wait to get her out of that school she had been at for years due to all of the drama. for the last month of 4th grade and 5th grade, she has been at a new school. She recently has had some crazy drama at school and now feels like she is a "loser". I want to switch her schools to a more accelerated learning school where they focus more on education but I fear I am teaching her to run from her problems. I fear she will quit a job in life over a problem that could be resolved... But my goal is to switch her to a school that has better education and of course... better children because the parents are more focused on learning. How can I switch my daughter schools without her thinking were doing it because of the drama? Parenting is hard.... sheesh!

  • Answer:

    What exactly is going on? Is this actually more your problem than hers? There's going to be drama at whatever school she goes to, she's an eleven year old girl and it will only get worse. I don't like to gender stereotype but girls tend to have major dramas with each other... one day they are best buds, the next day mortal enemies and back and forth and back and forth. There will always be other kids she doesn't get along with, when she gets a job someday she will have co-workers she probably would prefer to not be around, there will be teachers she doesn't get along with or who have teaching styles that don't fit her learning styles. Point is, there will be drama... I think if the major drama is following her around you need to consider that maybe you should stop switching schools whenever a problem hits and start teaching her how to work with others, how to solve problems, how to stand up for herself, how to respect other people, etc. Perhaps you need to realize that it's probably not all the "other kids" fault that she is struggling, talk to the principal and guidance counselor and get some feedback about your daughter's school work and social skills. If she truly is having problems because the curriculum isn't challenging her and she is not only academically, but socially needing an accelerated program, then check into it... but switching schools every time there's a problem with other students isn't going to solve anything because you will never find "better children", many public school parents are very focused on their children's learning and many parents also realize that academia isn't all there is to life. To be successful in life, you need more than "book smarts", you need to know how to work with people and manage conflicts.

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you think it's hard now, just wait'll she's in middle and high school. oy vey. I presume the family has discussed the benefit of this proposed new school with her included in the discussion, yes? How it's more progressive and focuses more on academics and so forth. If you are certain she can be admitted (I know some magnets have waiting lists) and have confirmed with the district and the admissions office and so forth, why not just hold out until this term ends --presumably in spring--and transfer her for 6th grade. That way you get her into a better school, away from the problems, but you don't do it in a hurried manner that might suggest it's an escape.

slammamama

By simply telling her why you're switching her schools. If the real reason is because you want to turn her to a school with a better educational system, then tell her that's the reason and if you're telling the truth, she'll believe you. Tell her she should also put her affairs in order, make "nice" with the people she's made enemies with. But if the reason you're switching her schools is for a new start so she doesn't "feel like a loser" anymore, then sorry.. but let her deal with her problems, but help. If she's being bullied, talk to the counselor or principal. We moved a lot when I was younger and it was horrible. I now have no childhood friends and it sort of sucks... If the school she's at is a good school, keep her there. If it's THAT big of a deal, then move her.. but those are just my opinions :)

You are right! Parenting is the hardest job you will ever have! I think what I would do in this situation is let your daughter finish this year at her current school. (I am assuming that the situation is not intolerable or dangerous for her there.) Plan on moving her to the new school in the Fall semester of 2012. Being the "new kid" in school is bad enough without switching in the middle of the school year. But again, this is if her current situation is tolerable and not dangerous. Regarding "running away from her problems..." You are moving her because you feel that the new school is a better situation for her. She isn't "running away" from anything. This is the attitude that you must take regarding the change. I hope the new school works out well for her.

Mary C

I was bullied through 5th to 10th grade. When I finished 5th grade, my mom changed me to another school because of both my bullying and of the crappy schooling. Telling the truth to her won't do any damage, nor is it "running away of your problems". If you want reality, those people who bother her won't stop, no matter if they get punished or suspended. It will get worse. Now, that feeling of being a "loser", that's something to take care of immediately. That's how starts, the whole uselessness feeling that takes many to suicide. But if you want a real solution (although it may cost you a bit more), get her to be home-schooled for a couple of years. Learning in your house where people that love her and care about her and tell her how wonderful she is, works like a charm. In my case, I didn't have that opportunity: I had been so much damaged psychologically that soon the kids on my second school started bullying me because they knew I was weak. I got over it when we moved and put me in another school, but I'm telling you, it's a 50/50 chance of success. If you can afford it, homeschooling for a couple of years would be the best. Good luck!

AGM15

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