Wedding list and forgotten friends - should we invite them?

People drift apart all the time and it's simply a fact of life. You may have been close to someone at some point and then it just fizzled out; it's not a reflection on either person and it doesn't mean you dislike them, it's just that people's lives move in other directions. I don't think you need to worry about not inviting them - if you aren't close to someone anymore and you barely talk to them, why invite them? If your wedding is small you need to invite the people who mean the most to you. Think of it this way - would it matter to you if they didn't invite you to their wedding? If not, there's your answer.

Everyone has that problem, to some extent. You have to draw the line somewhere, and your line is at "small wedding".... so dont invite them. You arent close to them anymore. It would be awkward for them, and you. For whatever reason, these relationships have fizzled out. The mutual friends you are still close with shouldnt be gossiping about it-- its last years news. If anything, you can say off-handed "Well, we arent that close anymore. No hard feelings. Things just change!" After all, its the truth and its better to say it than to tip-toe and make everyone feel awkward. We had 70 guests at our wedding. Family and close friends only. Friends who were close in the past were not invited, and there were no hard feelings. Invite from obligation is a very bad thing.

i guess you have to think about how great of a friend they were back in the day. i have a great high school friend who we havent been the best in keeping in contact but she invited me and i will invite her. now i dont talk to her every day or even every month but we know that we are great friends it truly depends on yall , if your trying to cut cost then i say no but if they were a really good friend i say yes, maybe not yes to all them but a selected few

I wouldn't invite them if they haven't been true friends.

i have the same problem, and thanks to vanessa h i think i have my answer. thanks, and good luck

I didn't invite any friends to my wedding. Just family. People know weddings cost a lot of money, so if not invited, not a big deal. Spend more time living your life as you need to and less time worrying about what others will think. Those who think negatively of you, probably are jealous or didn't really like you all that much in the first place. Most people don't think of you at all!

If not inviting them to your smallish weddings means the friendship will "definitely be over," then I think it's safe to say don't bother inviting these people! I probably wouldn't invite them in any case, especially if the head count is a concern at all. But I think there is a nice way to do it, to somehow let them know that yes, while you're getting married, the wedding is small and you unfortunately can't invite everyone -- but you do hope to get together with them soon. You can send them photos after the wedding, always with a bright, happy, cheerful tone when you communicate with them. Then the ball is in their court.

Personally, I wouldn't invite old friends who have faded into acquaintances. Like you said, you are having a smaller wedding, and need to be selective about who you invite. You will be wondering why and if they deserve to be there, and ultimately be wasting money on buying dinner for people who don't care enough to put effort into or maintain the friendship. Why give up those seats to friends who aren't really friends anymore, when you could either save yourself the money, or seat someone more deserving?

I had a decent sized wedding of about 120 guests, but there were a lot of people that I have known that didn't get invited simply because didn't feel they needed to be. I hadn't seen any of them for a few years, we barely talked and so it wasn't going to matter if they were there or not to me. Inviting someone just so you won't lose a friendship with them would make me wonder if the friendship is even worth it. From the sounds of it I would not invite them and just go on with my small wedding and have only those that I want there if I were you.