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Why are bridesmaids expected to pay for their dresses?

Why do brides in America get their bridesmaids to pay for their dresses etc?

  • I would really like someone to explain this to me. I'm in Ireland and when someone gets married here it's the bride that pays for the bridesmaids outfits - which I think is only fair since they are asking them to be in the wedding and they are choosing the dresses etc. The dresses and shoes can end up costing a lot of money... what's with the whole American thing of the bridesmaids paying? And I know you'll say that if bridesmaids don't want to pay, they don't have to be in the wedding, but easier said than done. I'm asking this question because of another one I answered earlier and got lots of thumbs down for expressing that opinion. I just want to know why that is.... Thanks.

  • Answer:

    Not everyone does, and, yes, I've received "thumbs down" before as well. I have to assume that the criticism comes from brides who have asked waaaaaay too many friends to be attendants so they need to have the girls buy their own dresses. In our family as well as extended families (we've had probably 30 weddings in past 15 years), the family sits down with bride and groom, sets the budget and then decides which family pays for what. One of the things on the list is cost of brides gown and bridesmaids gowns and tux rentals for all. If the figure for bridesmaids is, for example, $500., then it is up to the bride to decide to have 2 girls and buy $250 dresses, or 5 girls with $100 each, etc. For a couple of weddings, there were 5 bridesmaids and the family bought patterns , fabric, and the girls either sewed the gowns themselves or paid for a seamstress. I personally find it strange, perhaps even rude, when people post a question and then give thumbs down to anyone who may disagree with them. The responses are, after all, the opinions that were asked for. Other posters are free to thumbs down or thumbs up, of course as that sort of shows how many people are in agreement. But truly is a bit silly for the questioner to "thumbs down". If a person already has their mind made up, then why ask the question at all.As for YOUR question, I am obviosuly in ttoal agreement. Plan a wedding you can afford and pay for the "costume" you insist that your attendants wear.

aine_ala... at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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its just a culture difference. I dont understand some things done in other countries either, but I dont question it.

flutterflie04

because it's considered an honor to be invited into someone's wedding party, so you are showing respect and love for that person by accepting the invitation and spending the money on the dress.

kimmyg

I'm not sure but I agree with you. I think it's just because they get to keep the dress, shoes, etc. I'm paying for my bridesmaid's dress & hair/makeup. My MOH will not let me pay for her dress but I'm paying for her hair/makeup too & I'm also paying for her son's tux since he's our ring bearer. I think in a way, she feels that if she pays for it herself, she has more control of what she buys. There are also some things that we do (in America) that others don't. I had someone tell me recently that the British never pay for alcohol at weddings. Here, it's pretty standard to have a full bar available & some people look down on the cash bar idea of making your guests pay for liquor.

Anna Banana

Not only in America. We do the same thing in Canada.Very rarely here does the bride pay for her attendants dresses,shoes etc. It's an honour to be asked so no one expects the bride to pay.

sonnyboy

I don't know why that is the case. Probably to just help out the couple??? In any case, it all works out the same. Someday, I'll be in my bridesmaids' wedding and pay for my own attire and we'll be even!

lmlm

I completely agree with you! That's why we are paying for all the wedding party attire. I feel like WE asked them THEM to be in the wedding... it my be an honor for them, but it's really not fair to ask them to pay when it's your special day. that's just my opinion though.

*ae*

I'm with you, too (American here). I felt like it was enough of an imposition to make them wear the dress I wanted them to wear. My mother and I made the dresses ourselves at our costs. I asked them to wear any black shoes they wanted, they didn't have to buy anything new. I gave them wedding jewelry, and said they could wear their hair the way they wanted to. The only thing that would "ruin" one of my pictures would be if one of them would be unable to be in the wedding party because they couldn't afford it - not hair, shoes, makeup, or the wrong dress!

Skatin'

I do agree that brides should not make their bridesmaids pay large amounts of money on dresses that were picked out for them and that they may never wear again. However, I am letting my bridesmaids wear whatever dress they want (as long as it is pink or burgundy colored) and they are perfectly fine with this since they will definitely get to wear their dresses again. When guests come, they generally expect that they will have to wear nice clothes. I suppose you don't expect the bride to pay for them too do you? Edit: I see your point, and I do agree that there is sort of a fine line to consider between the two arguments; whether the bridesmaids should feel "honored" to be asked in the first place or whether they feel that they are doing a "job" and that their attire should be provided for them. It certainly is a very interesting question and an equally interesting cultural difference!

Due 10/19/10 with baby #1!

I live in ireland to and i am expected (i'm the bride) to buy the dresses, shoes, jewelly, pay for their hair, makeup, tan ect

yummy mummy

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