How do I tell my future mother-in-law to quit planning my wedding for me??

You MUST talk to your fiance. He has to be the one to put her in her place. I completely understand where you are coming from. But it's not your place to tell her to butt out unfortunatley. It has to come from him. And if he has played the nice guy part, then he has to be mean and put her in her place. It's YOUR day, NOT hers.

I'm afraid you have two choices: 1. Give in to your mother in law and just let her run the show 2. Stand up to your mother in law and risk hurting her feelings From the tone of your question, it sounds like #1 is out of the question (as it should be). In my opinion there's no way around it. You *and* your fiancee are going to have to sit your mother in law down and have a long, frank talk with her. Tell her that you will no longer be seeking her advice on your wedding and that she is not allowed to invite *anyone* to *your* wedding. Tell her that you tried to include her in the planning, but she has abused your goodwill to the point where you simply can't allow her to be involved *at all* in the planning anymore. It's going to be painful. She is going to say awful hurtful things. Controlling people don't like having control taken away from them. She may even hold a grudge for a while. You *and* your fiancee need to be prepared for that. I think you'll find it's worth it. You should also be aware that conrolling people don't suddenly become non-controlling. She is going to try to control your lives every step of the way once you get married. This is a battle you're going to have to fight over and over again. Be ready. Also, make sure your fiancee is 100% behind you on this. If he's going to undermine you with your mother in law, it's better you find this out now, before you marry into this family.

You need to have your fiance straighten her out!! Since it is his family, it becomes his responsibility. Do not worry about her never talking to the two of you again, she will get over it. You on the other hand may never get over not having the wedding that you dreamed of. This is your day! Do it how you want, and dont let anyone make decisions for you. Put your foot down and say "too damn bad!"

If you can't stand up to her then you deserve everything that's happening. I don't see why people are so afraid to stand up to mother-in-laws. She ain't GOD!!! She's a person just like you are so stop crying and take charge!!! If her feelings are hurt, then so be it. You're marrying her son... not her. He need be a man and stand up for you. If he ain't gonna stand up for you now, it will get worst in the future. So what are you going to do?

tell her to back off. cancel all of what she has already booked and make your bookings yourself. my mother in law to be, is lovely, she is so helpful and is very supportive. the only thing she is going on about is me wearing her dress. she has helped me find the locations and has even paid for the caterers and stuff. you need to make it clear, that her help is appreciated but at the end of the day it isn't her wedding. and you aren't going to allow her to take over, tell her your choices, your guest and everything else goes. her friends aren't your friends and won't be invited. make sure your partner is behind you before you talk with her. make him choose a side.

You just need to come out and tell her that you do not want her making any arrangements, then make your own decisions and inform her of what's happening. This is not her wedding, it is yours. If she is unhappy that is her problem. Make no commitments to her decisions, and tell her you've already made arrangements. Settle your arrangements as soon as possible so she does not change them on you. You don't need her permission, just go ahead and plan it as you would like to.

Both of you are going to have to just be stern with her. Tell her again that you appreciate her help but from here on out you two are going to make all of the decisions. If you do not like the vendors that she's called, just call them up and cancel with them. It may also help if another family member tries to talk with the mother in law too.

Your fiance needs to sit her down and tell her flat out that she can't plan a wedding for you. She can contact all the vendors she wants, that doesn't mean that your wedding is going to be there or utilize their services. Also he needs to inform her that she can invite X number of people to your wedding and no more. The only person entitled to an opinion on your wedding gown is you. I'm not the type of person who thinks that a wedding is all about the bride; BUT the gown is. She doesn't have to like your wedding gown; you do. You keep being polite to her and let your fiance deal with his mom.

You didn't say who is paying for the wedding, if she is then you must give her some choices to make as it is her money, but when it comes to your choice of colors and your dress you should by all means stand firm on this. If you and your future husband are footing the bill then tell her politely that you appreciate her input and will take some of her suggestions into consideration, and try to use a few of her ideas as this will keep her on your good side. This same rule goes for the guest list, she pays, she get to invite whomever she wants, and if you guys are paying then it's your list, but try to give her a number that she can invite. Try to be nice but don't let her walk all over you and you need to tell your intended to speak up to his mother on your behalf. Good luck, and Best Wishes to You and Your Fiance'.