Does future mother-in-law get to help plan bridal shower?

You sound like you are TRYING to make a bad situation worse. She offered help--she's trying to make things better. You could be gracious and accept help, but instead you choose to turn her away and then put her down. You probably don't realize this, but you're in for a long life with an attitude like that. My finace's 3 aunts hosted my only bridal shower--what a wonderful and welcoming gesture! It doesn't HAVE to be the domain of the bride's family only.

No, the shower doesnt have to be handled exclusively by the brides side of the family & bridesmaids. It would have been a nice gesture for your mother to include her, when she offered to help. She said something mean in the past; is it possible she wants to make amends and start off on the right foot with you? She may have been extending an olive branch, but your mother shot her down. Tell me, where is the harm in having her involved with planning the shower?

Whoa - your problems are bigger than a shower. You are going to be connected to this woman for the rest of your life. She will participate in your children's birthdays, your holidays and you need to find a way to get a long. Regardless of who hurt who first! Would it kill your mother to ask her to bring something small. Let the woman feel a part of the day. She is trying to show you she cares for you. As for two showers. The bride is not involved, therefore she is not greedy for gifts. I do hope your family did ask her for a list of people to invite at least. Sounds like you are trying to be conrolling and get even with her. That is not a healthy way to start a marriage.

I know that in laws can be a pain, but when you are getting married, you should try to at least include her a bit to make your soon to be hubby after. I know what she said was hurtful, but it seems as if she is accepting of you and maybe has even changed her mind about you. You should at least invite her to bridal functions that you are having. You want everyone to bless your wedding, especially the mother in law.

at least she asked to help and is trying to make an effort it seems like to be involved in things and maybe is trying to make up for what she said to you. having 2 birdal showers doesn't make you seem greedy. tell you mother in law that if she wants to throw one for you for her side of the family then you will be happy that way she can plan it and whatnot and feel included. you should start including her on some things of planning because you are going to be dealing with her for a long time. and a man will not be too hapy to have to choose between his family and his wife.

Okay, I am certain you are me right now. My mother in law said the same thing when I first met her. In turns, I had 2 showers and 1 she was not invited to. The other one she glared and rolled her eyes at me the whole time... didn't even speak to me at the wedding. Fun. Anyway, you are just going to have to develop thick skin. At this point, she just wants to be included- so she can "say" she was included in the process. IF you really want to try to clear the air, then at the shower... give her a little extra special attention. IF not, ignore her crap..

Wow...sounds like your MIL lit the match and you & your family are throwing fuel onto the flame....I can understand hurt feeling but excluding the MIL & SILs (not to the bride's maids luncheon that is only for the maids & the bride) when she 'd like to help is just taking the situation to a higher stress level.......... ...and I can't believe, if I'm reading correctly ,you have decided who on the groom's side can attend...the fair thing to do (it's what I did) is to split the amount of guests the budgit can afford and each get half...and they invite whoever they wish as long as they don't run over. All I can say ya better duck and fast when the situation explodes....and it will. In stead of proving you guys are the better 'man' you're slinging mud back.....and hope the sh!t doesn't hit the fan at your reception......good luck

I do not think that the bridal shower should be handled exclusively by the brides family. Me and my mom are throwing my future sister-in-law a bridal shower. We have included her family and the bridal party. They both know what we are planning to do. The fight between you and your mother-in-law is deeper then your family not wanting to include her in the plans of the shower. When you marry someone you do not marry just him, you also become a part of his family. So you and your mother-in-law need to fix yalls relationship before the wedding.

You are getting off on the wrong foot. Backtrack as fast as you can, do you really want so many negative feelings surrounding your wedding? Whether you mean it or not, call her and apologize for not inviting her and her daughters to the luncheon, and tell her you understand her desire to welcome you into her family by holding a shower for you for her side of the family. You can tell her you don't want to seem greedy and your side has already been invited to one shower and you don't want to stress them by inviting them to two, Its more important to end the anger than to worry about who is right. Believe me, in any marriage its worth getting used to the idea that there is no winning in getting the other person angry. You might as well start now. You can be right as all get out, and it still won't make for a good relationship with her. At least this way you know it won't be your fault. If shes going to be difficult, well, you know you will have done your best. It was well intentioned, but a little rude that you mom told her there was nothing for her to do, everyone likes to feel included in the plans. Do what you can to bring MIL into the planning, shes your loves mother, and it never pays to keep a feud going if you can possibly end it. Your addition shows why she is upset, you and your family are acting like her son and his family are getting in the way of your celebration. This isn't a way to go at all, if the woman wants to throw you a shower for those family members who haven't been asked, then please do so, you can't just cut his family out of the fun, the planning, the celebrating without getting a lot of hostility, well deserved I might add. The only way you can justify having so few of his family is if the cut is fifty/fifty. If you are only asking as many of your family as he is asking of his. But thats not what happened is it? Or are you only having twenty people to your wedding?