I Have Sooo Many Questions About Weddings!!!?
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I have never been married and the last wedding I attended I was 16 and now I am 27. My fiance has never been married either or been to a lot of weddings. My two friends who are married I cannot get ahold of. Anyhoo, I have so many questions I cannot find here online. What is this business about getting a marriage license? Why do you need a license to get married? Soon we'll need licenses to go grocery shopping or to movies! Why can't you just be free to join in union to the one you love? How old is the flower girl? I am either going to ask my 2 year old future niece or my 11 year old cousin. What are some wedding traditions? I heard something about something old and something new...idk Do we have to have a photographer, a DJ, and a videographer? We are on a $2,000 budget. How much does a limo cost for an hour? All we need it is for an hour. Neither of us has ever been near a limo before. Can a minister/priest marry us if I am Catholic and my boyfriend is an unbaptized Christian (I think he said he used to go to a Methodist church)? Do all the bridesmaids gowns have the look the same? I am having my two Mennonite friends who are going to wear their style of dresses and then my sister and my two friends wear whatever. Do lilac and latte go good together? Can people bring their own chairs instead of us renting chairs to cut costs? My sister mentioned that we could have a potluck at the recption. Is that acceptable? I just thought my mom and I could do all the cooking. Does the cake have to be 5 tiered? Can't it just be a one level/nothing fancy? Can a priest/minister even officiate an outdoors ceremony or does it have to be in a church? We really want to have a priest/minister and an outdoor ceremony. Can we just have a picnic style reception instead of fancy place settings and silver and fancy napkins? Even though this is one of our most important days of our lives, we don't have thousands to spend on this wedding, so we have to be extra careful about our budget. We actually have a $2,000 budget. I don't even know if we can afford to go on a honeymoon. Any answers to my above questions would be much appreciate. And any other suggestions would be great too. Thanks! <><
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Answer:
As far as the marriage license goes, without that you are not legally married. This is the document that is filed with the courts signed by your officiant that shows you are legally married. You just need to contact your local courthouse to find out the requirements where you live. The age of the flower girl is up to you, I personally do not think 11 is too old. My flower girl was 10 and it was perfect. Don't worry about the something old something new but here is a site about wedding traditions: http://www.yourwedding101.com/wedding-basics/popular-wedding-traditions.aspx No you do not have to have a DJ, just mix some CD's and put someone in charge of playing them and announcing the different dances. Instead of having a videographer, have a friend with a video camera capture the whole thing for you. You do not need a videographer but I would strongly suggest getting a professional photographer, it is worht it. To save money find some local photography school web sites and post a request for a phtographer, you should be able to get a good deal. This is how my sister found her photographer. Instead of a limo, see if someone has a nice car you can borrow or rent a lincoln town care and have a friend drive. Just have the rest of the bridal party drive themselves to the venues. Catholic weddings would depend on your specific church requirements. Some require both couples to be baptized catholic, some require both couples to be confirmed catholic some only require one of the couple to be Catholic. I would strongly suggest finding a non denominational church to get married in and have a simple Christian ceremony. No the bridesmaids do no all have to have the exact same dress. Pick a color and have them all find a dress in that color. It might be helpful if all the girls purchased their dresses from the same stor so they can get the exact same shade but it's no necessary. My sister had everyone wear purple and choose their own dress and it looked really nice. No do no have people bring their own chairs, that is super tacky! Pot luck receptions are definitely OK especially for a more casual wedding. I would coordinate with your family, aunts uncles moms etc and make sure everyone is designated specific \dishes so you do no have 10 potato salads. No the cake does not have to be fancy. Order yours from the grocery store and you will save money, they come in 3 tiers and are pretty. Another option is to order a small 3 tiered fancy cake from a bakery and get sheet cakes from the grocery store. No a priest can only officiate on sacred ground, so they can only perform the ceremony in a CAtholic church. You should be able to find a minister or officiant (justice of the peace or other officiant) that can do a non denominational Christian ceremony in any location you choose. You absolutely can have a picnic style reception! You do not have to go on a honeymoon right away. Book a nice hotel room the night of your wedding, and then save up for a nice honeymoon. You may even receive some monetary gifts on your wedding that will help pay for your honeymoon so you may be able to go on it sooner than expected. I would definitely suggest to wait on that so you can have a nice honeymoon, no rush! Good luck!!
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Other answers
You must have a marriage license if you intend on your marriage to be legally valid. You get this before your wedding, your officiant signs it with your two witnesses and processes it. Flower girls are usually 5-9, 10 tops If you don't want/can't afford a photographer, videographer, etc you dont NEED one. Have a friend take the pictures if you have to. Limo prices vary by where you live, the season and time of day. You will have to contact a company for specifics. You can be married in a civil ceremony, by either a Methodist minister or a priest. Details will vary highly by the type of officiant you choose. Your bridal party can look exactly how you want them to. I suggest having your bridesmaids in similar or coordinating colors. Lilac goes well with many colors. Latte might look a bit odd, a darker color might be better. It would be a good idea to have the chairs for your guests, if someone forgets one it would be a nightmare. Plus this is a party that you are putting on, you want to have at least the bare essentials for your guests. You could do a potluck, but having you and your mom do all the cooking is nice too. I think you and your mom doing it would be better as you can plan things out. You can so whatever you want for a cake! A Methodist minister might do it outdoors. A Catholic priest will not as it is a sacrament. You can make your reception however you like. If you want a picnic go for it. You can always hold off on the honeymoon. Or look for cheap alternatives. Camping can be a really romantic honeymoon if you are into it, and cheap.
C J
First of all.....congratulations! Wow...you were right...you have lots of questions. It might have been better to ask 2 or 3 at a time....but I will try my best. 1. Sorry, but you need a marriage license. It's because it's a LEGAL document. 2. Flower girls are usually between 4-8. I think age 2 is a bit young....and 11 is too old. You can make the 11 year-old a "junior bridesmaid." 3. Traditions can be anything. Yes, there is an old saying that the bride has...."something old; something new; something borrowed; something blue." Of course, this does NOT have to be taken literally. You can get married without all of these. 4. You can have whatever you want! You do NOT need a photographer, a videographer, favors, limos, expensive flowers, etc., etc. It's all what YOU (and your fiance) want and what your budget allows. If you are doing this for $2K....you will need to cut back. 5. Call limo companies in YOUR area. It varies widely on where a person lives. If you live in or near a large (or even medium-sized) city....it's going to cost. No one can give you an estimate. Simply call the local companies. Also, usually they have a minimum amount of time that they will rent out a limo. I am not sure you can rent one for just 1 hour....it's usually at least a 2-3 hour minimum. 6. Yes, a Catholic priest will marry you if you are a practicing Catholic even though your fiance is not Catholic. However, related to question #12....a Roman Catholic priest will ONLY marry you inside of the church. This is because in the Catholic Church, marriage is a sacrament. You may, however, find a Lutheran/Methodist pastor/minister who will marry you outdoors. 7. I think it looks best if the bridesmaids all have the same dress. But it's your wedding....so your choice. 8. Lilac and latte are fine together. 9. People bring chairs? Where? To the reception? If you are having your reception in your backyard, then I would think this would be OK. If you are having this at a hall....they will have chairs available for you. 10. Potluck is acceptable IF it is an acceptable practice where you live. However, it is always best to not ask your guests to "supply the party" so to speak. So, if you can, I would do everything possible to NOT have a potluck. 11. The cake can be whatever you want it to be. No need for 5 layers. 12. See #6. 13. You most certainly can have whatever style/type of reception you want. A picnic reception would work out perfectly for your budget. No need for anything fancy if that is not what you want. Hope this helps!
iloveweddings
You can do whatever you want it's your wedding! You can cook it yourself and have a potluck buffet. You could have just appetizers if you wanted! You don't have to have a video or pics. You could put disposable cameras out for your guests to take pics. You will want some pics of your special day! I was at a wedding that had a cupcake wedding cake so no 5 tier is def not necessary. Limos will be hard for just one hour.... there is usually a 3 hour mimimum at about $60 an hour. BM dresses can be dif! But maybe tie them together like same length or same colors or same flowers. You can do WHATEVER you want it's your DAY. You pick a place to register and they give you little cards that say your registered there. You can spread the word verbally or whoever throws you a bridal shower can note it on the invitations. Generally you should register for 50 items if you are inviting 50 guests and include all price ranges from $20 to $100 and 1 or 2 things for $150 or so. Target is a good place!
Jodie
1. the marriage liscense isnt like getting a drivers liscense or something, theres no test, its basically paperwork that u have to do to make ur marriage legal. 2. the flower girl can be any age under like 8 as long as they can walk. 11 is a lil too old. 3.Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue! 4. u dont have to have all that, u can have whatever u want, i am on a tight budget as well adn im having my friend who loves photography take pics, and im using an ipod at the reception for music. 5. limo costs really range depending on the company.. 6. u can have whatever u want marry u, if u want a priest, minister, judge, pastor whatever 7.the bridesmaids dresses dont have to all be the same but the idea is to have them wearing the colors of the wedding... 8.yes they do 9. i wouldnt reccomend having ppl bring their own chairs unless its like an outdoors or backyard wedding, u really want like 50 diff chairs in the room?? 10.see if someone else will help yall with the cooking, as the bride u will def be too busy to cook, and if its a laid back kindof wedding a potluck would be acceptable. 11.the cake can be as many tiers as u want it to be 12.the priest or minister for the most part that ive seen can come to where ever yall are having it 13.you can have whatever kind of reception u want, if u want picnic it sounds like a cute idea
Kay-wrist-ten
This is a ton of questions! You can do everything on $2,000 but you will need to be creative about everything and don't expect to be able to do too much. Cut your guest list down to 20 and that will make EVERYTHING simple and cheap. You can have a picnic style reception but it's better to invite fewer people and host them at a restaurant instead. You can have a one layer cake but don't have a grocery or club store make one. You can do pot luck but it's better if you have a planned menu and people bring what you want and not just whatever and you should rent chafing dishes and not just throw hot dogs and chips on a table. It doesn't seem right to ask people to bring their own chairs unless it's one of those outdoor concert places in which case then it would be appropriate. Lilac and latte do go together but you need to samples of everything because not everyone is going to get your colors right. The bridesmaids don't have to match. But, it is the pictures you will always remember. You have to talk to ministers/priests who perform weddings to find one who will do what you want. You have to call a limo company in your area to find out their prices. Most will not do just one hour without a minimum cost. A marriage license is what makes your marriage legal in the United States. Well, you don't have to make it legal but it's one of those things, you can't say you are married on your tax forms without it - I mean you don't want the IRS involved in your lives, you really don't! The flowergirl is usually some age under about 10. After that, you make them Jr. Bridesmaids. As far as wedding traditions go, that is something that your mother should give to you. It's not just something you follow for the sake of including traditions. However you choose to go about it will turn out just fine. The #1 rule is RELAX.
JaimieS
What is this business about getting a marriage license? It is basically how you make your marriage legal... you "register" it with the government. How old is the flower girl? I am either going to ask my 2 year old future niece or my 11 year old cousin. The younger one is more traditional. Anyone older than 9 or 10 would be a jr. bridesmaid. What are some wedding traditions? I heard something about something old and something new...idk It's an old tradition that the bride should wear "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." It can be your garter, a pin in your hair, your actual dress, or anything else you can think of. Do we have to have a photographer, a DJ, and a videographer? We are on a $2,000 budget. You don't *have* to have anything except a bride, a groom, an officiant, and two witnesses to get married. You'll probably want to at least have someone photograph the wedding so you can remember the event. As for a DJ, you can just program a playlist into your iPod and use that. No need at all for a videographer unless you have a friend or family member w/ a video camera willing to do a non-prof video. How much does a limo cost for an hour? All we need it is for an hour. Neither of us has ever been near a limo before. Ummm... depends where you live. I live in a medium size city and it's anywhere between $200-400/hr, depending on what you get, how big, etc.You don't need this, either. Can a minister/priest marry us if I am Catholic and my boyfriend is an unbaptized Christian (I think he said he used to go to a Methodist church)? You can get married in the Catholic church if one of you is confirmed. I don't believe any other Christian churches have rules regarding that, as long as you are a member of their church. You can also hire non-religious officiants. Do all the bridesmaids gowns have the look the same? I am having my two Mennonite friends who are going to wear their style of dresses and then my sister and my two friends wear whatever. That is fine. It's not a requirement for them all to wear the same thing, but you should advise them on a color to give it some cohesion. Do lilac and latte go good together? Yes. Can people bring their own chairs instead of us renting chairs to cut costs? Ummm.. yes, but it's kinda rude. I understand you're on a budget, but having them lug their chairs to a party isn't the way to fix that. I mean, they're going to be in their nice clothes, some will have kids, some will bring gifts and you want them to carry chairs, too?? I strongly advise against this. My sister mentioned that we could have a potluck at the recption. Is that acceptable? I just thought my mom and I could do all the cooking. This is very acceptable. Perhaps, you could also do a cocktail reception where you don't have any chairs and people just mingle. This would pretty much eliminate a dance type of reception, but it would also eliminate the cost of chairs, a DJ, a dance floor, etc. oes the cake have to be 5 tiered? Can't it just be a one level/nothing fancy? Like everything, the cake can be whatever you want it to be. You can go to the local grocery store and get a few sheet cakes or you can have an elaborate 5-tier, $6.000 cake. It doesn't matter. One of my friends who did a small wedding actually made her cake - she and her bridesmaids bought consecutively sized cake pans and baked a few cakes and then had a wine party and iced them. It awas fun, the cake was good, and it was cheap. Can a priest/minister even officiate an outdoors ceremony or does it have to be in a church? We really want to have a priest/minister and an outdoor ceremony. THe only church that has a rule regarding this is, of course, the Catholic church. They will not marry anyone on non-holy ground, so unless you want to get married in a graveyard, a church is your only option. Other religions are more open about this. Can we just have a picnic style reception instead of fancy place settings and silver and fancy napkins? Yes. This would be really easy to do at a nice B&B, a local park, or a friend's backyard. You would have to rent the chairs and a few tables, as well as buy paper plates/cups/napkins/cutlery, but that would pretty cheap in comparison and these are always beautiful, fun affiars. Good luck!!
Leah
1) legal reasons.... have to show you're legal and able to marry - usually done a few days before the wedding 2) don't do the 2 year old - i'm selfish and feel it should be your day - they don't walk down the aisle well, get scared and everything.... i've seen them run up the aisle screaming. i wouldn't do a flower girls persay but the 11 year old would be a lovely junior bridesmaid (same concept just older "title) 3) girl there are tons of traditions - what is your ethnic background?? 4) photogrpaher -- i would at least get dressed up after and get a couple studio shots. do NOT waste your money on the cameras on the table....that will be a HUGE disappointment. I would splurge on some black CD's or DVD's and ask friends and family who are coming with their digital camera if they wouldn't mind burning you a copy of their pictures. heck if you have a laptop and want to bring it you could even ask those close to you to upload them ;) the videographer - don't waste your budget on that. OH HEY.... the Knot.... go to the Knot - great wedding website AND they will usually let you set up a webpage -- you could let people in on the web address and have the post the pictures and video's there and stuff. you're 27 right - you should be more web savvy than me :) 5) limo - usually has a 4 hour minimum 6) a priest will marry you only in a Catholic church AND if you are a practicing catholic and/or member of the parish. he does NOT have to be Catholic. 7) heck no - they can all wear whatever they want - that is what they used to do! you could say - ladies here are the colors, i would prefer tea length to floor length (or whatever). If you're in a Catholic church - nothing overly low cut, backless or strapless or too short. 8) okay i'm old - is latte like a brown?? if so yes 9) NO WAY find a spot that has the chairs right there for you -- like a KofC hall or VFW or other spots like that. 10) check around you might be able to find a really cheap caterer. If you're having a small informal wedding -- potluck is fine. 11) i've seen cheesecakes to cupcakes.... it can be whatever you want it to be! check out sam's club or publix (or whatever your grocery store is) too - you'd be surprised! 12) Catholic priest - only in a church. you can often find a non-denominational preacher/minister who will do it outside. one thing - have a rain back up!! 13) sure depends on when and where You are very smart to not be going into huge debt for a wedding. you're right it is the most important day of your life but also the start of your new life -- starting out on debt it stupid ;) while your budget is 2K you don't say how many people you're thinking of inviting.... keep it simple and have two lists ;) i would say to email me but for some reason mines not working when i click the link from here to reply. a friend did hers.... 50 people, 3 tiered cake and punch, fancy chairs, linen table cloths, centerpieces, hooked up our iPod to the sound system and a dance floor, garden in st augustine, florida, in an old castle now museum over the pond on a bride, included the photogrpaher AND minister AND horse drawn carriag ride! $1500! just think outside the box.... another we did for 75 people, city park, had an old building that was stunning, overlooked the ocean 75-100 people, catered BBQ luncheon with dj and all the trimmings.... $1800! couple hints.... sundays are cheaper then saturdays! lunches are cheaper then dinners always ask - you might think it's going to be high and sometimes it's not! (did one at a dance studio, great venue, had to rent EVERYTHING except the dance floor, it ended up costing more per person then the hotel I worked in and the ballroom for dinner with booze!) KISS.... keep it simple silly! Tap into friends - HOWEVER not fickle friends. if you've a friend who's really hurting financially - ask them to be the one to help direct pictures - give her/him a list of who you want in them and your camera and make them "in charge" that would be their gift and a REALLY huge help eliminate kids if you can - they take up seats and food - sorry if it sounds like i'm bashing kids, i really do LOVE kids ;) if most of the people are close in the neighborhood or family.... there is a very old tradition - hand deliver the invitations! keep your eye open at weird places for sale items.... invitations can be done on the computer and guess what.... they don't all have to be the same! centerpieces can be from the dollar store.... again not knowing your location a really pretty one sand in the center of the table with little seashells and a large candle in the center. OH WITH CANDLES - don't get anything scented it will be really WAY too over powering champagne toasts - don't waste your money no one really likes champagne ;) vintage dress.... look at local consignment shops for a dress. go to the high end cities in your state and look.... you'll be amazed! sometimes it's cheaper to rent the silverware instead of buying plastic if you're having soda's or such and doing a help yourself.... a fun thing for the cups is getting one personalized through like oriental trading and then - that's the cup they use - instead of buying tons of the others that get tossed - say it's ya'll being green (not cheap green) check out the mom and pop restaurants in the area - you might be surprised at their pricing for lunch and it would include tables and chairs, food, china, linen and silver! call the city hall and ask if there are any venues through the city - parks often have rec rooms OR libraries.... in Jacksonville, FL one of the best spots for a wedding is the library - they have reception rooms and even, on the 3rd floor this amazing outdoor garden!! if you want more info - shoot me your email, like i said i can get but get this annoying pop up error about bad server connection when i try to respond. Source(s): 20+ years in hotels and 16+ doing weddings
Marysia
I will try to address your questions. I'm a non-denominational officiant, and a certified event planner. What is this business about getting a marriage license? You need a marriage license because its a legal status created by the state. Because the state controlls divorces, they need to be able to regulate marriage as well. Think that you're entering a life-long contract and this is the document that allows the creation of that legal status. How old is the flower girl? I am either going to ask my 2 year old future niece or my 11 year old cousin. Flower girls are generally younger -I'd say 7 or under - but when my brother remarried his 9 year old was the 'flower girl' and that was fine with her - she was part of the ceremony. The 11 year old can be a 'junior bridesmaid', and usherette, guestbook attendant... What are some wedding traditions? I heard something about something old and something new That's the bride's attire - something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, a lucky penny for her shoe... There have been several discussions on YA about this lately that you can get thorough answers to this question. Do we have to have a photographer, a DJ, and a videographer? We are on a $2,000 budget. No you do not have to have it - when I got married the person supposed to take pictures cancelled at the last hour fortunately one relative had a decent camera (before digital so i was lucky)... and the snaps came out okay. You will probably want to invite people to bring their digital cameras/ video cameras... you're sure to get some interesting shots. Maybe if you have a laptop and a photo card reader you can ask people to upload their pictures before they leave. How much does a limo cost for an hour? All we need it is for an hour. Neither of us has ever been near a limo before. Limos depend on your area - I'd guess about $100 - $150 an hour... Can a minister/priest marry us if I am Catholic and my boyfriend is an unbaptized Christian (I think he said he used to go to a Methodist church)? I do not know if a catholic priest will perform the ceremony but many non-denominational ministers/wedding officiants will (I for example am a non-denominational officiant and I have no religuous requirements or preferences...) your ceremony should reflect you and your combined beliefs. In most states ministers and judges are authorized to solemnize and in three states, notaries public can. Some locations allow a friend or family member to become certified for a day and in I think Colorado, you can file extra paperwork and solemnize your own marriage. Do all the bridesmaids gowns have the look the same? I am having my two Mennonite friends who are going to wear their style of dresses and then my sister and my two friends wear whatever. Many brides are giving them a color and letting them pick their own dresses... in a style that they like, since here in the US the attendants generally buy their own clothes. Do lilac and latte go good together? I think brown and purple go nicely but I'd need to see them together. One may look better in a little bit darker shade. Can people bring their own chairs instead of us renting chairs to cut costs? That's kinda borderline "tacky" - approaching socally inappropriate . If you're having a short ceremony they can stand - I've done several on the beach where that's exactly what happens - since there was no projection allowed the guests were able to gather in so they could hear. What you could do is arrange to borrow chairs from people - pick them up the day before or morning of and return them afterwards... but asking people to bring them just doesn't sit right... They're about $3 - $4 to rent a basic folding chair. You may have a friend that's involved in a church or organization that has them that will loan them to you for the day. My sister mentioned that we could have a potluck at the recption. Is that acceptable? I just thought my mom and I could do all the cooking. A poluck is risky if you're asking the guests to bring a dish -- if you and your immediate family are doing the cooking it's fine... Asking a guest to come to your wedding and bring food is again bordering the socially inappropriate. Does the cake have to be 5 tiered? Can't it just be a one level/nothing fancy? Your cake and reception and ceremony can be as formal or informal as you want... If you go with a sheet cake you may want to think about a small round cake for the cutting ceremony --- it looks nice to have a separate cake or layer to cut. Can a priest/minister even officiate an outdoors ceremony or does it have to be in a church? We really want to have a priest/minister and an outdoor ceremony. ABSOLUTELY! A non-denominational officiant can and usually will perform a ceremony outdoors - my business depends on people having their ceremony somewhere other than a church!!! Can we just have a picnic style recepti
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Alfros32
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