How to text message?

How can I deal with my anxiety/social phoebia when I'm having a text message or email confrontation with someo?

• I say text message or email confrontations because I rarely make face on confrontations with people because I can't describe how anxious I would get then. I had selective mutism as a child which is a rare behavioural/communication disorder caused by a social phoebia of what people think of you that prevents you from talking when you are expected to. I'm not mute any more and communicate the basics but what concerns me is that I get so anxious even when I'm having a text or email confrontation with someone. I mean today I was texting a boy about a concern I had about his intentions with me before we were supposed to go out on a date tomorrow ( I was n't being paranoid or anything, I had reason to believe this guy's intentions were not serious) but my point is, after I sent him the text message confronting him, when I received his reply I was too scared to open the text message and had to mentally prepare myself to read it (while I had a busy morning ahead). It must have taken me 20 minutes before I could open the message and about two or three minutes later I read it. I think I was more afraid of the fear itself because I knew nothing serious could happen to me. I just had thoughts in my mind like he was going to say something really aggressive to me in the message or tell our mutual friends how ridiculous he thinks I'm being. So basically I still have the social phoebia. How can I reduce this anxiety or mentally prepare myself to confront the situation ie read the message sooner. I am the same with opening emails and even worse with listening to voice messages (if I know they are in response to a confrontational text message). In part my anxiety is hereditory as both my parents can get really anxious but surely there is something I can do like a mind trick to reduce this. In fact I did use a mind trick when I opened the text message, I pretended I was n't myself but one of my friends who has a strong personality and who I know would have no problem reading such a message..but it still took me 20 minutes and that was only when I opened the message...then my anxiety escalated a little and then a couple of minutes later I read the message but if there is a quicker way to reduce anxiety or another mind trick you could suggest I would appreciate your input on this.

• Answer:

  There are websites with tips to help with that. Here is one: http://www.ehow.com/how_2067710_overcome-social-anxiety.html Google "overcoming social anxiety" - there are lots of sites. Good luck. Also - get more exercise - it helps with anxiety of any kind and helps with leveling out your emotions.