How do you deal with social anxiety disorder?

How to battle Social Anxiety Disorder and Depression?

• Alright so, It came to an end today where I finally realized I have depression and social anxiety disorder. I always knew something was wrong about me as a child. I always had weird OCD habits. I was always scared to eat alone at lunch because I didn't want to be a loner and if i was i'd call my mom to pick me up pretending i'm sick. I mean now i can obviously do things on my own but still have that voice holding me back from not giving a damn what others think about me. I experienced the most frightening trauma when i had my 4th anxiety attack. My head was shaking so fast, my hands wouldn't stop shaking, my mouth was dry, my breathing was short, i couldn't stand still because my knees were shaking, i couldn't look at anyone in the eye, i didn't want to be around people, i was honestly ready to lash out at someone because i couldn't handle it anymore. and every time this happens I honestly plan out a suicide attempt because i hate feeling this. I have tried to kill myself 3 times. I have used illegal drugs before and I know this plays a part in it. I have quit drugs for the past 3 months and I'm keeping it this way forever. Also, my father has depression so i definitely think i inherited it. Often it's hard for me to express my opinion or even say anything to others because I don't want to sound stupid or uninteresting. It's SO f*cking hard for me to talk in front of an audience because i'm so self conscious of what others will think about me. And every time when I don't know what to say to someone i'll stutter/mumble and feel SO AWKWARD to the point I start to feel my anxiety kicking in... I'm overly sensitive when i'm criticized and I HATE being embarrassed in front of others. I mean it's a natural to feel that way but I let this eat me alive. I also feel really guilty all the time. I'm a 20 year old gay male and I'm out of the closet. Sometimes I still fear of being rejected by others because of who I am. I face discrimination every day and stand strong. Most days I give up and break down. I mean i'm so proud of myself I had the courage to come out to the world in the first place but, unfortunately, i'm still insecure about it... I also have OCD and I was wondering is this plays a part of my depression or disorder? Please help me. Any advice will mean SO much to me because I honestly feel like I am losing myself and not even find it worth living anymore. I'm sick of this. I want to be happy like everyone else and be successful. Thank you so much.

• Answer:

  You are afraid of what people will think of you (anxiety) and you may feel alone which makes you depressed. If I were you, I'd look to join a group of supportive people, or a club that helps gay youth or for something for school that interests you. The more you put yourself out there in society, and around others, the more you'll find people aren't thinking/judging you - they are into themselves. Also, you will get used to being around others and know it's not a big deal. It will take time to change your thought patterns, be patient, rent movies, read books about the world. Be in the moment. Know, that you are a person of value, and stay away from any miserable people that put you down. The OCD is you trying to control an outcome/your environment somehow in a chaotic place. A hobby, a part-time job (even if it's just for a few months, an art, yoga, will help ease this down. Buy a watch, a planner my weekly/monthly one from Bluesky-target helps and plan, and look at time, organize, but practice not being perfect. Tips for anxiety/depression: Try to sleep well, no alcohol, drugs, sugar (cereal)caffeine coffee, green or black tea, chocolate)/overly processed carbs. Don't be overly strict, and try to mix things in. But avoid any of these things before 3pm. It's better to get at least 8 hours for most people, and every hour you sleep before midnight is better. So, if you sleep after 2am but get 8 hours of sleep, it's not as good as if you sleep by 10 pm. Diet is very important as well. I’ve found I feel best when I eat fresh, more veggies, and drink water. Good fats are important as well, such as those found in nuts avocadoes, fish (sardines, tuna, salmon) and grass fed beef. Omega 3 is very good for the brain (I take 2 caplets from Nature’s Blend), it can be found as caplets, in flax-seed oil, and cod liver oil. Fresh Veggie’s are the best not canned or fried) the better. Feed your brain the right food! A spiritual advisor would also help if you are religious, or spiritual, Buddhism, Temple, Christianity, or self-help books). The most important thing will be for you to get exercise. You need endorphins and the blood flowing to balance out your nerves. Yoga and swimming have helped me greatly. Even if you stretch, jump rope, or take walks along the beach or in nature (be sure you are safe and take someone along (to share the fun with too!) – any of these help. There are exercise clubs. To get to the bottom of any triggers you have in your environment, please don't hesitate to be as honest and clear about things with your therapist. Sometimes, when you have to make decisions, or start to come of age, people get especially stressed. It's good to try to be around people your age, and be social as well, so you know what is normal, and what others go through as well so you don't feel alone. And, so you just have fun, and not so stressed out! A club or organization, a job you care about, or not just anything with help. Volunteer work for nature, kids, art, temple, church, may help. Best of luck to you, feel free to contact me if you need anything. By the way, I also went to traditional doctors but found a homeopathic one to be more helpful, although most doctors just laugh at them. The process is slower, but there are fewer side effects. I would look for a good one. They can be pricey, but perhaps your family can pitch in until you have a career or a full time job. Don't worry, you can get over this either way. Just trust in the people who want to help you. I looked into everything, even the music I had been listening to I felt affected me. Also, meditation breathing exercise helped a lot with the anxiety attacks. At first, I didn't believe in it, but I tried it without really giving it much thought, and my heart rate calmed down after about a week. I did it at night, and in the morning, and you can do them wherever you are too. I’ve even tried acupuncture, which I think helped as well. That doctor told me to remember to be sensitive to beauty, not just the negative in life. That at times we must all compromise to work towards something else we want. And, to remember that when we do feel good, to run with it… He repeated to me these words to remember, “patience, resilience and discipline”. It's usually a step by step process, so be patient with yourself as you get well.