How to I become more outgoing?

How to become more confident and outgoing?

• Nothing unusual here; I'm a 17 year old guy with a bad lack of confidence, low self-esteem (in some respects) and social skills that are nowhere near the level I'd like them to reach. [Wall of text ensues, if you just want to get to the question, skip to the bottom, go to the arrow ->] I'm not sure if I've always been so shy, but I've never been more conscious of it. It's only been in the last 2 years or so that I've really started to notice - and care - about it. Going to Secondary School (or High School, depending on where you live) really knocked my confidence. I became really quiet and introverted; maybe in shock at the change from a quiet country-school to an all-boys school in the middle of town; maybe because my best friend of the last 7 years, whose family had almost regarded me as an adopted son, became a bit of a prick and we drifted apart; maybe because I was the victim of a bit of bullying for the first 3 years or so because I am/was slightly feminine (grew up with 2 sisters)...whatever the cause, I recently asked my current friends what I'd been like in 2nd-3rd year in school, and they told me that I "didn't say anything at all", that I just stood around and listened to them talk. The internet became my retreat, I hardly had a social life of any description, and lost a lot of my good friends (aside from the asshole). I've recovered from this phase somewhat, and for the last 2 years or so I've been more aware of my social condition and have been trying to repair it. I'm still having trouble developing my social skills, though. I think much of it has to do with confidence; a lot of the time when I'm put on the spot in a conversation or when thinking about approaching someone to talk to them, I simply can't think of anything to say. The words get stuck in my throat, my mind stays blank, or I'm feeling nervous so I just avoid social situations altogether. As I said, it might be a lot to do with confidence, as I still feel a bit insecure. I heard a group of people laughing at the back of the classroom a week or so ago, and automatically assumed that it was directed towards me. Why!? It made me realize just how low my self-esteem can be sometimes. I'd like to be myself, completely. I don't want to be afraid of calling out answers in class; I don't want to feel **** when I say something that may or may not have sounded silly; I want to be able to look everyone in the eye, to come across as friendly and confident. I know it's normal for teens to be a bit quiet and awkward, but I'm on a level up from that at the moment. It's unusual, because my sister is the complete opposite of me, a real bubbly people-person. I'd really appreciate it if anyone could give me advice on becoming more confident in myself, and how to become more outgoing and talkative and be able to have a chat with anyone, at any place, and keep the conversation going for a good deal of time. I like to think that I have the potential for this, because my mother and sisters are all without a doubt people-persons. I just need a bit of guidance to strengthen my resolve. Even if you could post links to a similar question with a good answer, or an article with a similar theme, it'd be great... So, in short, without all the fluff: ->How can I become more sociable, confident, friendly etc? Thanks, it feels so good to get this off my chest. All help is appreciated.

• Answer:

  Hey man I have this problem too... I'm going through times like this so any answer would be appreciated!!!!