Q&A Lawyers jokes?

• Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A. Professional courtesy. --------------------------------------… Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the definition of a lawyer? A. A mouth with a life support system. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car. --------------------------------------… Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor? A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print. --------------------------------------… Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? A. The caterer. --------------------------------------… Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying? A. Other lawyers look interested. --------------------------------------… Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A. Not enough sand. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon? A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes. --------------------------------------… Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A. His lips are moving. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A. You can negotiate with a terrorist. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. --------------------------------------… Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first? A. Who cares? --------------------------------------… Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common? A. You always hear about them, but you never see them. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points. --------------------------------------… Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull? A. Jewelry.

• Answer:

  lmao! Excellent. Gotta work all night and that has put me in a very good mood. Thanks ;-)