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I cant get over my abuse :( any advice?

  • From the ages of 7 right through till i was 22 my grandmother emotionally and physically abused me. She treated me so cruelly, called me names, swore at me, told me i was worthless and ugly, told me id never amount to anything, she didnt allow me to go out socially- i was only allowed out to school and to get her shopping- i wasnt allowed friends, and i never went throught the whole teenager thing of mixing with girls and guys and boyfriends etc... i just was kept down and quiet all the time, and was very shy and backward. She died when i was 22; im 29 now and I still cannot get over all these years of abuse- its not even so much the things that were said and done to me but the years life experiences ive lost- making friends/dating, just experimenting and enjoying my youth- now at nearly 30 i still have no friends and never had a boyfriend, and its like i cant move on, the damage is done and it goes so deep. I try my hardest and have went to therapy but nothing helps. Sitting here tonight im alone, depressed and sad that my youth and life is over and ive missed out on so much, and unless a time machine is invented, i cant make things right. I cant get those years back. How do i move on?

  • Answer:

    You move on with GOD, and don't look back because as you say there is nothing pleasant there to look back to! I've had my share in life and I am finally at peace with myself and I am now 35 years old, not to old to love and cherish God for all the beauty in this world....colors, smell, days, laugher, my legs to walk outside, my hands and fingers to type this to you! So much to be thankful for...Prayer sweety, Prayer and faith got me through. I wish you only the best. ;-)

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I am sorry that your youth was taken away from you and you were held prisoner by your grandmother. And while it is true that you cannot get those years back, you can go forward....but not with this boat anchor of abuse around you. May I suggest an excellent book on this subject? "TOXIC PARENTS" by Dr. Susan Forward is about people, just like yourself, who were abused in their youth and have learned the skills to resolve their situations and go on to live productive, healthy and fully functional lives. I truly wish you all the very best!

Honey, I have been right where you are at. It never goes away completely, but you need to get your emotions out through what's callled a Resolution Therapy. Basically, what I'm saying is YOU NEED TO HEAL. Look for a therapist that deals with Resolution Therapy.

being young isnt the only time to make friends and sociallise with others, when you have children you'll start talking to other mums and start socialising with new people. for the mean time, dont worry about going out and finding a boyfriend, the right man will come to you. If you have facebook you can always talk to some people on there, im not really sure what else to suggest but im sure that if you found someone and told them your story they would definately feel for you. it wasnt your fault you couldnt go out there and make friends, and people will understand that. be yourself and people will see you for the probably very nice person you are :) oh and im sorry to hear what your grandmother put you through..

I remember some prof in stanford saying "People are controlled by situations, but people can sometimes control situations" U see, for your entire life, you were controlled by some sad memories (situations). Memories from the past are controlling your emotions. U can't let that happen. Every human-being is capable of controlling their own life. And by doing nothing but sitting there not knowing if you'll be able to move on is never going to help you; you're just being controlled by your memories... So, do whatever it takes to control those bad memories. ie. forget about them, u can't change the past to the better,,, then why not change the present to the better? Forgive her. maybe she wanted u to be able to suffer much tougher situations (I would highly doubt this though). Cheer up :)

I'm afraid I can't answer but i feel so sorry for you but being serious try chocolate

IDK your life messed up but '' Bros before Hoes ''

you can talk to me via email "[email protected]"

Pray 2 God & go 2 church, make spiritual friends, stay under the annointing

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