How can one deal with Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies?

I don't know how to get over my bulimic tendencies....i'm trying to eat normally again but it's hard...?

• i'm a 22 yr old girl, and have had bulimic tendencies on and off since july last yr (thats about 9 months i think i've been doing this). i've done it a lot lately....but past couple weeks have tried to stop because i've gotten sore throats which i hate. at first a couple weeks ago when tried to stop..i just decreased how much i was eating, hoping it would make me not want to throw up....some days that worked, other days i still wanted to throw up the little amount of food i was eating. i did that for a week or two....barely eating...but i'm getting hungry again........the thing is...i want to be able to eat normally so i can be healthy again, but every time i do, i've felt like i can't keep the food down afterwards. i've always ended up having to puke it up again...the only time i actually stopped is this past week when i was on vacation - i only stopped because i didn't want to risk getting caught by the peaple i was on vacation with. it was so hard...but what i discovered is even though i was eating normally, and wanting to keep the food down - it's like my stomach physically didn't have enough room for normal sized portions. now that i'm back home, its hard to decide what to eat and such, because i do enjoy food, but the past couple months i've thrown up if i felt like i ate too much - but now that i'm trying to stop that, its hard to eat normally. i don't want to eat if i'm going to end up throwing it up afterwards....i always tell myself before eating that i wont throw it up....and then after eating i always end up feeling way too stuffed - even if i didn't eat a whole lot..it really is like my stomach physically doesn't have room for the right portions... anyone have any advice on meal planning and how to deal with it so i can eat enough to not starve myself and still keep my food down? if anyone has any advice thanks in advanced :) and also, i am in therapy already to deal with depressive thoughts and feelings i've had since 14, and suicidal thoughts i've had since 18...i was in out-patient treatment last june which last two months and then i started regular one-on-one therapy... so i'm going to discuss this with my therapist next time i see her, but i'm just on here to get some advice to tie me over until i do see her again next week. i know you're probably wondering why this started when i was in the middle of out-patient...i think its because i was realising how much deep seeded issues i was needing to face which i really didn't want to - but i had to get help because if not i was on the verge of ending my life and i felt too guilty to do that to my family. i didn't want to get help, i wanted to die...but i forced myself to get help for my familys sake. its wierd and annoying....on a general scale, i'm a lot better...feel excited about life again for the first time in years....but i gained a minor downfall (bulimic tendencies). it was worth it though for how much better i feel as a whole now. i know its not ideal but in my point of view i think i'm doing pretty good because i'm still alive, and i wouldn't be if i didn't get help..i don't think i would have had the strength to keep going...anyway, yeah,thats my story - sorry for rambling on!

• Answer:

  Try eating smaller, more frequent meals to give your stomach time to adjust to holding food down and not feeling too full. Maybe confide in someone who can help you monitor your portion sizes and not let you binge, or who can help you not purge. Sometimes, it's necessary to just let the food sit, even when it's really hard to. Remind yourself that it's important that you get better, and think of your loved ones and how much they want you to be happy and get better too. I hope that helps. Good luck :)