Am I Crazy how do i stop being self conscience?

How to stop my conscience and have casual sex with out feeling bad?

• This is kind of embarrassing that I only had one sexual partner so far. I do wish I had more but I can not stop think of sex as some thing that should be valued. 'most guys can just have sex with any one but for some reason I can not just let go of the idea that sex can have no emotion to it. To make a long story short the girl I had sex with or hook up with was a friend of mine and she wanted to sleep with me. She just broke up with her bf and tracked me down and wanted to get together. We had sex a few days later and I was relieved not to be a virgin. For some reason I could never climax at all no matter what she did . I think it a signal that she did not care. She said she cared about me and liked me and wish we done this years ago. I just kinda tricked my self into thinking she cared and I kinda knew what this was. There was no passion or love making at all and she just kinda let me do all the work and laid there. Then she left and we hand out and have sex. This went on for a few months and she ended via text. She was seeing a new guy a week later. Now I am busy going back to college and working full time and my time is all used up. I want to have sex but can not get past the barrier in my head and just do it. I do kinda wish I found a girl that wanted to be with me for my first but what ever. I am 28 and feel like I am stuck. On one hand just study meet new people and if I meet a girl that wants to hook up go for it. Then on the other hand I want to meet a girl that wants to be with me and have relationship. The thing is I do not have a ton of time so it will be a few more years and I do not think I can hold out that long. One other thing is for some reason I think if I wait for the right girl and she like it and be turned on and she feel special . Do not know if that is true . If I just hook up with a girl it might not be as enjoyable and empty for me and if sex is not fun what the point? What to do? I do not want to be a man whore . i just need to kill my conscience so i can have sex with an woman with out feeling bad about it.

• Answer:

  You shouldn't have to change your values just because you feel like you haven't done it as much as anyone else. I respect you very much for thinking sex should be special and with someone who cares about you. That's a mature view right there. If you wanna wait for someone to actually care for you then that is what you should do. Otherwise it's not gunna ever be fun with any girl if you are just doing it to say you did it. Plus I'm sorry your first time was lame. You need to find a good girl that cares about you and is fun not one tha just lays there, what fun is that? I wish you the best of luck!