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What Exactly Does a Private Detective Do?

Hiring a Private Detective to find my fiancé?

  • Hello All: My fiancé and I split a month ago after a really tough period where we were on and off constantly. She has now cut me off completely, she has deleted me from FB, blocked me on Skype, changed her phone number and moved to a neighboring city (I live in Budapest, she lives now in Vienna - about 180 miles away). She has a new job working at the airport - I flew through there recently and tried to make contact with her (a total disaster it was too - she came looking for me at my gate and in front of people threw the letter I had left for her on the floor). She was angry to say the least. She sent me a really angry email threatening me with lawyers if I contacted her at work again. Naturally, I have avoided doing that. That was two weeks ago. So I have hired a private detective to try and find her. We have found no trace of her home address yet. I want to return the engagement ring and ask her to meet with me just to discuss us. I feel really uncomfortable with this situation and I really don't want to show up on her doorstep unannounced - it could get very ugly and I don't want that at all. I have agreed with the private detective that if they find her that they can tell her that I am looking for her. I was thinking of giving them the ring and returning it to her because I don't want to the be creepy person (although hiring a PI is kind of creepy). I'm confused but I know that I love her very much and despite all of the difficulties we had together, there was a real deep feeling of love. I have no idea if she is with someone else (it would help in getting over her if she was). Thanks for advice!

  • Answer:

    As hard as it sounds, I believe you should stop with that detective idea. I know it is hard for you to know you lost her but really..if she wanted to still be with you, she would not have done all that. It is understandable that you might have this intense necessity of wanting to talk to her and discuss whatever you didn't say and now want to say it but that is just not going to happen. What should you do now then? ...Move on to someone else. Yes, it is too bad that she is not allowing you to be part of her life, that she does not want to talk to you, that she is somewhat hiding from you but you have already tried your best to appropriately apologize and/or fix things to bring things back together. If she is not doing the same..that is her thing and not yours..you need to respect her decision. I can almost assure you that if you keep this private detective idea and he finds her, even if you are not there, she can file charges to the police-as in a restriction order of some sort and that would just not feel good :/ You were in love with her..and might still be..that is understandable too but if it was not meant to be it was not meant to be. Move on..there is someone else that is ready for love and you are ready for it too. As time passes by, the universe will conspire around and make you two meet again somehow if it was truly meant to be. Take care and hope you reflect a little with this :)

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Save your money. She has made her feelings clear. None of the things you are doing are going to get her back or help ease your mind. Get drunk, cry, move on. I know that's not much help, but it's all you can do.

Alex

And I thought I had heard of all the crazy things in life... But life never fails to amaze me.

Analise

Step back from the situation and assess her actions. From what you say she wants nothing more to do with you. I would say she wants so much to be apart from you she will forgo the ring. Leave her alone now. Take time to move on. Why would you want to be with someone that does not want to be with you. You need to let her go.

Marc

Leave her alone, and stop stalking her? She feels nothing for you, otherwise you both would be together rite now? Youre not confused, you are a creep. Creeps, stalkers end up in prison? Get a life.

liable

If you are a troll then w/e but if not, dude what did you do to mess it up so badly?

Now we know why she dumped your ***, you don't know that NO means NO!

Drew Simul

You are right everything about the PI does sound, "creepy." I say stick with the PI just to get the address and do nothing but mail her the ring(which, I think is a bad idea. You should keep it for another girl or pawned it to get some of your money back). You don't say what happen for her to behave the way she does in public and not be civilized. I say you should go on and continue with your life, i know is going to be hard. If she was meant to be she will contact you, you cannot go out of your way for her if she is not showing interested after a couple of attempts. Just a suggestion.

Mark

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