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Help!!! Working with tourist Visa in Egypt lead to trouble in future?

A Thai Girl Asking For Help?

  • We've been in a relationship for about four or five months now. I've visited her for about 40 days and we traveled all over Thailand together. That's hardly long enough to really know if I can trust a person, however I can say that she has led an independent life, is kind to not just me but the people around us with the little things like feeding stray animals and giving the needy spare change. She's always calling me, sending me emails, communicating through instant messages, a really great private life (when we were actually together), remembering my birthday - everything a person looks forward to in a relationship. However I'm also still picking myself up from a divorce a few years ago. I'm 23 now and still want a long term relationship with a women. I tried dating locally for a year and a half and every girl I met was ... drugs, drama, low ambitions in life, overly clingy to parents, ex-boyfriends, and... so on, or already taken. Saying "Hey There" on the street only takes a guy so far, even in a city like Seattle which such a hotspot for Asians. (Can't really get interested in Caucasian, feels like their my sister or something.) Her values are the closest I've come to finding another individual that I could imagine to become a significant other. Recently she signed up with Au Pair to come to the states and live with a host family. This is perfect as she can remain self sufficient, close the gap between us in distance, while still giving each other room to breathe while seeing if something comes of it. She's asked me to borrow money to keep in her bank account. At first I thought she said that it was required to have a savings before making the trip in case of an emergency, so once she was here she could give it back. Then later she said it was so she could quit her job and just focus on the training until it's finished. And later it become because she was originally trying to gain a tourist visa instead of business.... I don't know. Of course there's going to be people screaming "SCAM!!!" and I'm aware of that possibility, but there's other explanations too. The biggest being that often when I talk to her about it she will get frustrated and say, "If it worries you then I'll take care of it myself" And there's a language/cultural barrier between us where we have trouble explaining certain things so the other person understands it. I know for a fact that she is very stressed right now working 60-80 hours a week for a job and training, I see it in her blood shot eyes from a lack of sleep and other issues. And I think it's only fair that I help her if she's doing this for us - we should both put in the effort. $2,000 is what's being asked for ($3,000 at first). The money itself isn't a big deal to me, it's more about trust. I just don't want to be used like my ex-wife did. I'm not some fat antisocial old man, quite the opposite actually. However I fall for woman from overseas so much more quickly maybe because they seem exotic, and the challenge of having to overcome those challenges motivates me to persue them, it's a story I'd like to tell my kids one day instead of (yeah I got plastered at a bar one night, woke up with your mom, she told me her name, and some how we've been making it work ever since.) But I can't understand why she changed her story, and when we first started discussing the issue she claimed that a rich man she knew tried to rape her after she refused his advances for sex at a party, and a guy hit on her at work who wanted her, and her parents were going to force her to marry the young man soon and she didn't have a choice. (AKA - I'm highly desirable, take me now or miss out.) And finally, at first she was willing to accept the first host family who would accept her, even if it was on the other side of the country. (New York while I'm in Washington.) This is a complicated subject because it's obvious that she's not being completely honest, but who doesn't stretch the truth when their in a tight spot? I do sometimes. And what part is the lie and what part is the misunderstanding. She did have a bruise on her wrist after that party, where she was grabbed - that's pretty hard to fake. And if I called her a liar and those things really happened? It'd be hard to live with myself. Especially when I've already pushed away friends whom I've lost faith in and members of family. She isn't a bar girl. She doesn't even drink (I practically dragged her to a bar and we left 30 minutes later due to her insisting.) donates her time at camps in the poor districts for children on the weekends - I've gone with her. Where does my bitterness from a previous relationship end and healthy skepticism begin? As of right now I've promised to give her $750 in the next few days to help take the edge off. She asked me very subtly, "If I was in trouble, would you try to help me." It was phrased like a theoretical question, as if she really wondered if something in the future took pla

  • Answer:

    It is too early to start sending this girl money. Sure, you had a great time with her and now your back home and missing her. My advice to you is if you seriously want to make things work with her, do not send her money and see if she still gives you the same treatment. Typically, good Thai girls are not obsessed with money and if she loves you enough she will not be asking for it at this stage. Once you send her money, she will make more requests. From my personal experience, take things slowly and get to know each other better before financially taking care of her. Remember, a fool and his money are soon parted.

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Here we go again, week after week the same old story. She is using you right now. Don' know what the future holds for you and her. Once you start given her money the request keep on coming. She doesn't have to be a bar girl but ask yourself how long was it before the first night she slept with you. Hope you get my point

Khun Bob

Its not a scam but i hate to tell you that a lot of women in these parts think Farang are a walking ATM machine . You yourself admit she hasn't been totally honest . I personally think you are heading for worse ! You have already been through a divorce and the start of this is already rocky . I think you better find another girl .There are alot of of Thai women coming from good families that will only take your money when YOU OFFER IT and too after the relationship has blossomed . These are usually well educated as well . The thing is you are only 23 and already divorced ? Sorry man in all honesty you have to sort yourself out first . It takes two hands to clap . You have to analyze what you did or did not do to crash things with the first marriage

KGP

This is just the way of the female Thai, well many of them anyway. They think foreigners, especially from America, are rich and have money to burn, and they feel that they are entitled to it. It's partly a cultural difference as well, you as the boyfriend or potential boyfriend are supposed to "take care of her" (that means financially). And to them money = love. But many of them take this too far. It starts out like this, and later you will be asked to send money for her family too. If you are dating a Thai girl, the family comes along for the ride! It will get worse if you marry, or so I've been told. The thing you have to decide is if it is worth this much money to you. And don't be surprised if down the road you learn that she has another foreign boyfriend also visiting her and "taking care of her." And possibly a Thai husband or boyfriend to boot! As a general rule, you shouldn't send money. Once you start, she will pressure you to keep it up. There's always a reason, and there's always an excuse to keep the money flowing. I got a girl or two over there, but they understand that I'll take care of them when I'm there, but when I'm back here, they are own their own. But that's how I roll, your experiences may vary.

Dan, version 4.0

She sounds like a nice person but there is an old saying "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar!" Being nice to you, telling you the things you want to hear makes it easier to get some money from you. Just like some bar girls can be really nice people worthy of a lifetime commitment there may be other non-bar girls who could be really devious stinkers! At 23 do you really need another relationship that requires that you provide money in a long distance romance? Do you suppose you have shown to her to be a pushover and she can treat you like your wife did and get away with it? Give this relationship some space! Wait a while and when she is finished with her training and working to see what develops then. I wouldn't give her any money at all. Good luck.

karazyal

Don't fall into the belief that if a Thai girl is not working in the bars she's "little miss angel". The phrases "If I was in trouble, would you try to help me?" & "If it worries you then I'll take care of it myself" reaks of passive-agressiveness. One Thai girl told me when Thais have a baby they hope & pray it's a girl, I asked why, "Cause the girls can get falangs and get money". I'm not saying your girl is bad but in my book 40 days would not be enough time for me to send her intial asking price of $3000. You say you'll send $750, she will gladly take it and later ask for more...if you give it, she's happy (and her family is happy), if you don't, she will keep trying and after a while move on to another, leaving you X dollars lighter. I bet you $750 if you came back on another trip you will find the same style girl again and again. Don't jump the gun so fast, take your time, you'll be glad you did.

Bot 23

Don't give any money you'd expect to get back. Just because she goes to the refugee camp and doesn't drink don't fool yourself into thinking she's not working a scam. 1. There's always a back story which you can't disprove. The cow is sick. I need to go to school. (She'll even show you a picture of the cow or the diploma and pictures with the other students if you want). 2. There's always a offer, a deal. You give me money just this one time and... 3. The story is infinitely expanding. Oh the Cow is better thanks to you My hero but now mama needs glasses to read the medicine bottle for the cows medication (This is called a lemma). 4. There's always a string attached. See two. 5. You are a farang, you'll see she'll trust the word of a Thai off the street before trusting you. "A good con man (woman) seldom remains static in product or presentation." (This is why I love my Thai wife because even when she's running the con, Her con is so weak I see right through it.) I worked too many years to turn over my money to anyone. She got a house and mama's house and some gold but she's on a tight leash. And were operating on a cash basis. She's always trying to get me to buy this or that property but somehow if I tell her how good the deal is then next thing I know old Pe has decided not to sell the land for 500,000 baht now he wants 650,000 or has decided to sell half (but the price is the same).. If I say its a terrible deal the sale goes through so she can say how I missed out. I got no plans on buying land (easiest way to get taken by a Thai woman) just testing the water. I just gotta laugh. Some farang here are in debit up to there eyeballs keeping the little Mrs happy. Buying cars and houses etc. if you go all in, thinking any Thai woman (or any woman for the matter) will hold up her end of the bargain your just a sucker and you'll be taking a header off the fourth floor balcony of your rented flat in Pattaya in a couple of years. If you really love here or want to test her love say no. If she calls you a cheap charlie or bolts then it was money based. (which I think is the case). Don't give any money you'd expect to get back!

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