Why is it hard to explain to the family or some people in Philippines that life abroad is not a bed of roses?

1. False sense of entitlement. They think that since they are related to you, you owe it to them to "share" your hard earned money. 2. Misplaced sense of loyalty to the family. Since it is us who earn the dollars, we HAVE TO support all our family and relatives. Hindi! 3. Johnny come lately attitude. We think that just because we have a relative abroad - kahit DH, we have to show all the neighbors that we are now "rich" - kahit di kaya. 4. Goose that lays a golden egg - if your daughter happens to marry a foreigner, it is she who married him NOT the whole barangay! Do not kill the goose that lays the egg. To the daughter, your loyalty to your family ends where your loyalty to your husband begins. Many more but you get the idea. Try remitting less so you can save more for yourself. No one will treasure your hard earned money than you. You are earning abroad so you and your loved ones may have a better future and not to show neighbors how rich you have become. No other explanations to them is required. Your money, your rules.

Blame it on the false misconception that the TV shows and the Movies depict.

The whole thing is just a combination of grossly wrong assumptions and the number one rule of looking after your family. Combine those two in a situation like that and the result isn't great. True the family back home is being taken care of but in reality its bad for them. They stop working,feel comfortable that a steady income from their family member abroad is coming in every second week or so and that it will be like that forever. Dead wrong! It doesn't help with all the things they hear in the media and their own thoughts but working abroad doesn't make you rich. I don't blame them as they don't know better. A smart person would only send enough to help out and to make sure the family back home are also trying to help themselves instead of relying on one source of income. It's simply not fair on both parties when that situation occurs.

Hi there, I was touched by your honesty. True lahat ng sinabe mo. But bear in mind that some problems have solutions. Filipinos who never worked abroad don't have any idea how hard it is for an OFW. (re read SPOTTERS' wise comment) Since we, Filipinos have marshmallow hearts, we cant bear to see our kamag anak suffer. We, OFW, thought that the best way to show our love while we are far, is to send cash, as a replacement for not being there. Ok lang if maaabilidad sa pera yung beneficiary mo. Someone who doesn't abuse your kindness. You are working harder for them, but how about your self? a friend once told me, " I support my family in the PI becoz sabay sabay naman kami naghirap"...to which I cant argue na lang. I respect that friend's opinion. She is happy doing that. Pay her pamangkins schooling, some cash to her mother, some cash to her siblings. And she is happy doing that, so I don't see any problem. Another friend is in a much worst situation. Foreigner hubby is jobless and they have a child in the PI who is being taken care of by the lola. So this friend still support the lola, who is her own mother, apartment rental, and all the basic necessities she shoulder lahat. And to think that she has been working double jobs just to make ends meet. She cant even pay her own insurance, so sickly pa naman sha, she just bear-and-grin-it becoz wala daw magagawa. You may continue sending cash remittance. But keep it minimum. Anyway you should also enjoy the fruits of your labor. If someone in your family asks for sustento, at hindi naman disabled or handicapped, tell them to find work instead. Play deaf ears. After your kamag anak realize that you are not a HUMAN ATM, they will retreat and stop pestering you. Dont give them things that you cant give to yourself. Love your kamag anak but love yourself first. Hope I helped. GOODLUCK.

I met and married my Filipina wife here in Sydney 21 years ago. She had already been working O/S for 12 years when she came here on holiday. For all that time and since we have been married she has helped her family--who were never well off, and without her, could quite possibly have ended up squatters. We sponsored one of her sisters here who recently won money in Lotto and has now showered the mother with all sorts of things--as long as she turned over the deed to the family land to her. My wife has just helped and never asked for a thing in return. Her sister gives gifts with strings attached but the mother only sees the gifts and has said nothing about having to sign over her small bit of land for them.The mother has forgotten that for nearly 32 years my wife has kept her fed and clothed with her O/S hard earned money and no matter what I say, she continues to do so even as the sister takes from her, all rights to the plot of land at home. Not that my wife wants it--the opposite, her home is here and she has no need to own land in the Phils. The sister is now very well off here and also wants the Phils land on top of all that. These are 2 very different Filipinas. One, the dutiful daughter, one the scheming shrew. The next time I see the mother, I am going to be very, very rude to her. 32 years of selflessness thrown out for a few gifts and a lot of greed. Filipina O/S workers--I say keep your money for yourself, and IF you have extra , send it home.You do not owe anyone but yourself a living.

Well, if its your own family and you can't explain to them, its because of the close family ties and utang na loob values. Sometimes I also encounter the negativity of those values. And yes I agree that when you gave out your hand, they expect some more up to the braso. And when you dont give them, ikaw pa ang masama. Hahaha. Kapuso na, Kapamilya pa, Kabulsa pa! Proud to be a Filipino! Mabuhay!

Actually, I believe you don't need to explain everytime, explain your situation once or twice is enough, the more generous you are, the more they ask....ika nga sa tagalog "ibigay mo ang kamay, kukunin ang buong braso".... Just give them what you suppose is enough, prioritize your expenditure and, one very important save some for your self, you are not getting any younger, just forecast what will your future be when you get old and couldn't be able to work any longer.

I agree with "PC". Most people have never been out of the country and only know what they see on TV, which is not reality.

I seriously know what you mean. I was born in Australia but moved to the Philippines last year, but my mother (who is Filipino) had to go back because of her work and try to raise money for her family back here in the Philippines. I was so mad at my Auntie because my mother pays for most of her stuff. My mother works two jobs, one is at a herb packing place and she works from 6am until whenever the order is finished (which is around 4pm and 6 days a week) and also during the weeknights she works at a petrol station. She is so run down and tired and nearly in her 50's its too much work for her at that age because she is always on her feet! All my Auntie does is cook and sell food from her house, then just lays around all afternoon! My mother pays for her children's schooling and water etc, and she is working her *** off and all my Auntie does is cook! She should make more money by doing more work in the afternoon. Its just annoyed me so much that I now live at my Lola's because I was mad at her all the time. My Lola is much better because she has been to Australia and has seen how hard my mother works. They think that because we do live overseas we have it easy, but it isn't because everything is so expensive. Even though it is minimum wage here, many things are not that expensive, though in Australia we have higher wage, we also have higher cost of living. It ends up equal in the end Philippines- min wage, but min cost of living Australia- higher wage, but much higher cost of living!