An older swim coach acting weird?

Ignore him and when he wants to help you out of the pool say :no thanks" and when he puts his hands on you just step over and act like you did not know he was gonna do that

Well, he's definitely crossed the line. But, instead of immediately telling your parents or the school or police or anything, and if you are able to do it (emphasis on able,) tell the coach that he's weirding you out and that he needs to keep his hands to himself and that you're not his sweetheart, or that you'll have to report it. You might also question some of the other girls to see if anyone else has noticed him being weird like that. He's still a young boy and might not know any better.

I'm an older coach. I would never touch a kid's (especially a girl's) head/hair ... I would never call her 'sweetheart'. My advice is to tell your parents that he makes you feel uncomfortable when he does these things. That is the definition of sexual harassment. However, you should also be aware that he will be very reluctant to talk to you or help you in the future. You also have the option of taking control of the situation. You'd have to be brave and, after practice with friends waiting for you but NOT in the room, tell him that you appreiciate his coaching but these other things make you feel very uncomfortable and that "I'd like you to stop doing them." If he does not ... go directly to your parents AND directly to a school vice-principal. Be certain to write down what transpires between you and anyone you talk with. Be certain to document any time the coach does something as you've described. Be certain to document when you talk to the coach and EXACTLY what you said or he said. One more comment ... another reply said that within a few steps he'd be raping you. Such a comment is outrageous. His actions ARE inappropriate as you are a minor and he makes you feel uncomfortable. However, RAPE is an act of violence and hatred, NOT an act of attraction. That is why, on occasion, an 85 year old woman is raped or that a rape of a woman occurs and the woman is chosen by the rapist at random. You need not fear that.

Trust your instincts on this one. When he called you sweetheart, singled you out from your peers for different treatment, and touched you, it was inappropriate. Since it made you uncomfortable it is sexual harassment and almost certainly violates the rules for teachers and coaches, and possibly laws in your state. You should discuss this with your parent(s), then you have several courses of action to choose from. You can just tell him yourself that you are uncomfortable being touched or singled out, and that people will talk and it will appear to be sexual harassment (this way you get your point across, hopefully correct the behavior if it wasn't ill-intentioned, and keep it at the lowest level); or your parent(s) can talk to him about the same things, also indicating that if it doesn't stop it will be reported to school authorities and probably cost him his job; or either you or your parent(s) or both could talk to the school officials, which could very probably result in him either going on probation or being fired; or you, your parent(s), or both could report him to the police, which could very probably result in a police record, him being fired, and not being allowed to teach or coach again. Discuss this with your parents and talk about what is the appropriate level of response. The one thing you should NOT do is to tolerate this. Good luck.

He crossed the line when he stoked the back of your head....I mean like, some of my teachers are like sweet, and sometimes give a high 5 or pat on the back to everyone like all the normal people but a 19yr old calling you sweet heart and stoking the back of your head is just weired. I would usually expect someone whose over 25 to call you sweet heart without making you feel weired but since he's YOUNG....he definetly is into you, unless he's one of those SWEET and LOVING people that's like that to EVERYONE, but I doubt it. I would tell my parents and the principal...or some other faculty member you can trust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…

Well, I don't exactly know...but my coach sometimes calls us sweetheart and will put his hand on our shoulder and stuff. But he's very nice and I know he would not ever...think about us..."sexually" stroking your hairs a little weird but I think that as long as he didn't try harassing you (touching in really WRONG places or if you get really uncomfortable) I'm a little younger than you in fact I had a swim meet today:) I hug my coach so ya know.

He's already crossed the line. Report him.

creepy report him

I think it's important at this stage to clarify a few things - many coaches (male and female) will do everything you have described and it means absolutely NOTHING. It's all a matter of CONTEXT. Does he call ALL the female swimmers 'sweet-heart'? I know one coach who call all his female athletes (ranging from 8 to 28 years old) 'darling' when they are upset and have had a bad race. If the uses 'sweet-heart' to all the other girls, then maybe you have taken it out of context. That said, if it makes you uncomfortable, you need to communicate that to him promptly. The body contact again, has to be viewed in context. The same coach I referred to before makes NO body contact AT ALL with ANY swimmers male or female, but his assistant coach gives hi-fives etc, whilst another assistant coach (female) gives hugs to the girls when they do well etc etc. Again, if it's a normal behaviour from your coach towards all the athletes, you have to ask if you have taken it the wrong way, but again, if it makes you uncomfortable then you should communicate that to him. I telling sign is this: if you are the ONLY one he treats this way, touches, talks to etc, then YES you should be uncomfortable and you should communicate that to him in a direct, assertive (but not aggressive way) and mature way, maybe something like this: "Coach, I really appreciate the extra attention you have given me and I think it has really helped my swimming, but I feel uncomfortable with some of the things you have said, like calling me sweet-heart, and some of the body contact you have made. I know you don't mean anything by it but in this day and age it could be viewed the wrong way by some people. I think it is best if you call me by my name and avoid any body contact so that no-one assumes that there is any form of sexual harassment going on, or any form of relationship, neither of which are appropriate between a coach and athletes, is that OK with you?" Give him a chance to walk away and think about what he is doing, after being told firmly that it's NOT ON.