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Shock Therapy?

Electric shock therapy for Jenkins?

  • Jenkins my 96 year old butler has developed the most irritating habit of mumbling to himself. Why even this morning whilst I was having breakfast I heard him mention something about his bathroom routine, it positively put me off my kippers. So I've decided to administer some electric shock therapy to cure him of this annoying disposition, I'm going to use a device I fashioned from a broken lamp I found in the garage. Obviously I’ll deduct the cost of the electricity from his wages, well I say wages, I mean its just going to be one bowl of gruel for him this week. How many volts should I set my device for would 390 volts be ok for starters?

  • Answer:

    I completely agree with you - one hardly knows how to cope with the lower classes these days -one would suggest that 450 volts would be absolutely spiffing to start with and, if that doesn't teach the blighter, raise the voltage - jolly good show!

Absolute Rotter at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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Make sure the fellow lies in a bath of water as you apply the lamp to him. I'd wear rubber soled shoes if I were you old chap, I know it's quite unbecoming to a man used to leather soles, however needs must in this sort of excercise. I believe you can purchase some at a commoner's camping shop, 'Milletts'.

Sir Marmalade Beauville-Lobe IV

You may want to deduct the cost of adult diapers from that as well, or allow him to go without and run the risk of soiling both his clothes and your fine home. I personally would make the first charge at about 300, but I would raise the charge at least 10 volts each time he keeps mumbling. Although I would imagine, why stop with Jenkins? There are so many in your staff that need this type of help!

TokyoGirl

Shocking positively shocking

Ian 51

It is not the voltage that is dangerous, but the current. So wire him up to a Ven De Graaf generator- upwards of 25,000 volts, gives him a bot of a jolt, but with a current measured in milliamps even he would not be hurt by it.

The Tenth Duke of Chalfont

you in need of sound beating on botty

annabel m

I am in favour of your plan, Rotter. But then, I am in favour of electric shock therapy for anybody without a Knighthood or a magnificent moustache. And I do drink an awful lot of gin.

5th Earl of Daveshire

One simply cannot get the staff these days.

Insomniac

it would be nice to put on your brain

maggie mae

dear sir, Although I am completely agree with the use of electric shock therapy on the commoners - however, given his age - you are simply wasting your time. The alternatives is to dispose of him via gardening 'accident' and promote his young grand daughter to be your personal butler instead. tip top honey. (however, if you providing the shock therapy simply for your enjoyment - then I suggest you dispose of his body in the garden, I find this saves a lot of money on the fertillizer and funeral arrangements) Kind Regards, Redrabbit

Red Rabbit

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