Does anybody know any funny army jokes?

Ok this couple were maried for 18 years. Each time they had sex the husband insisted they turn off the lights. One day while they were in the middle of hot steamy sex the woman switched on the lights, only to fond her husband holding a thick, soft vibrator larger that a real one (p***s). She got furious and yelled you important bu****rd how could you lie to me all these years, you better explain yourself. He calmly looked at her and said, 'good, i'll explain' the vibrator, you explain the kids.'

Lets play G.I Joe, I'll unzip my fly and you can blow me up! LOL!!!!!

Would you like to re-enlist? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I know on Majors wife.

PENIS! ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Pvt Jones had just completed AIT and reported to his new duty station. His commanding officer explained to him that they were in the middle of war games between the red and blue army and he would need to report to the field immediately. Unfortunately the armory was locked up so they couldn't issue Jones a rifle. So the C.O. looked around and found a broom and told Jones "Here take this, this will be your weapon". "You will be in the blue army". " All you need to do is go out on patrol and whenever you see a soldier in the red army you just point this at him and go gunny gun gun". " If he gets really close you jab at him and go sticky stick stick". "According to the rules your enemy must play dead until the war is over". So Jones is out on patrol and he sees a very large husky red soldier some ways off headed in his direction. Jones waits patiently until the soldier is within reasonable range and begins to shout "Gunny Gun Gun". The red soldier keeps coming. "Gunny Gun Gun, Gunny Gun Gun". Still the big guy keeps coming. Finally in a valiant move Jones jumps out in the path in front of the red soldier and lets out a stream "Gunny Gun Gun Gunny Gun Gun Gunny Gun Gun, Sticky Stick Stick, Gunny Gun Gun, Sticky Stick Stick". As the red soldier slowly lumbers over Jones' back he hears the big guy say in a deep voice "Tank...Tank...Tank...Tank...."

Military Intelligence.

Not a joke, more a quote, but: 'Ahh, the army, a fine body of men. Soon to become fine bodies of men'.

so many it would take me years to type them all. When I was getting my top secret security classification.they ask if I had any questions,of course I said yes .When I asked them who "THEY" were,they said I would be told when I got my clearance. THEY LIED lol