I need to know about planes?

9/11.... i need help dealing with it?

• So I've always just kinda forgotten about 9/11. I didn't think it really affected me so I tried to forget it. Today in school they had a little tribute and I started hold back tears after the first 20 seconds. The thing is it did kinda affect me. No one I know was killed, but I'm still an american. And at the time I lived in a little town outside of Boston Ma (dont anymore) 1 mile from the airport where 2 of the planes took off. They flew right over me that morning. My mom's office was evacuated after the pentagon was hit. I guess her boss said "They are hitting government buildings, we are leaving." I can't get those words out of my head. I was only in kindergarten. But everything changed. We went to NYC every year. We had actually just gotten back a couple weeks before. I saw the twin towers, we went back, they were gone. We flew and traveled a lot. The airport was so different. I remember being so confused as to why they wouldn't let us go into the statue of liberty and there were so many guards and police officers every where. I remember talking about it in school. I remember not understanding that people had actually crashed the planes on purpose. No matter how many times I was told that, I didn't really believe it. I don't remember how close I was tho. NYC was like my second city/home. And I only lived 5 hours a way in a big city that could have also been a target. Like I said, we traveled a lot. Always took off from that airport that the planes took off from. I could have been on one of those planes. Everyone on those planes died didn't they? If I had, I wouldn't be here now. And the thing is I really could have been. I was so close to it all and I didn't really understand that before because my world was smaller. And I hadn't thought a lot about 9/11 since then. But suddenly it's the only thing on my mind. IDK, maybe this is a rant, or maybe I just need someone to tell me how to deal with all this. Or maybe, I need someone to tell me how something this horrible could happen. I thought I couldn't wrap my head around it as a kindergartner, but now it seems even harder and more complicated! but I should have been able to figure it out by now! My little kid self thought nothing this bad could ever happen, I should have grown to learn and understand. but I can't. So my question is, can someone please help me understand all this, because I'm not really very good at organizing my thoughts and feelings.... as you can tell. I really appreciate it :)

• Answer:

  Something like this is hard for any of us to wrap our head around because we couldn't see ourselves doing this no matter how much we could get for it. That is just not how we think. We value life as precious. The people who attacked the towers were "islamic cult" terrorist uneducated cowards hiding behind religion who have no value of life whatsoever! I am not pointing the finger at muslims, I know a lot of them who are very family oriented and value life as precious as we do. The terrorists are the types of people who would strap a bomb to them selves to try to kill others. It isn't expected of us to be able to understand things like this. Ask just about any respectable person about how they feel about 9/11, they would remember that day as if it were yesterday and in almost just as much shock as when it first hit the news. I remember everything from that day even to the cloths that I wore and hairstyle and the perfume I wore that day. We are all still trying to find answers. It's not like we can interview the hijackers and ask them what they were thinking when they hit the towers. It really takes a criminal mind to really understand a Hanus act such as what happened on 9/11. Why it may affect you now is because you are old enough to understand that this did happen and that it is not just a movie. Most young kids I know would find this very hard to believe and deny it. I take that you are about 15 now? That is about the age when you start to mature and develope character and your amigdala (fear sensory in the brain) developes. You start to see results and consequences of things happening and you also are starting to feel for others. This is all a matter of growing up. If I told you to try to move on, I would be a real hypocrite. I still can't let go! I have cried at times throught that past 10 years regardless of the month or day just by sometimes thinking about it. I guess it doesn't help that my room is like a WTC museum. I have so many things from the WTC and I have some of the steel from there too, it is way hard to let go. It is a real honor to have everything that I have from there. I made an oath to take good care of them. I am not somebody who just doesn't let go of things, I just found my place. I am currently working on reaching out to those who were first responders, survivors, and family members who are struggling or sick. You may be on that path. See what you can do to help for this 9/11. I'll bet that you will feel much better that you did something about this heartstrickening event. being that you are 15-16 years old, you may have found a new passion. I was 15 when I found mine. I have always loved geology and rocks and things like that. I was awoken to volcanology (study of volcanoes) then. I remember my mind just not letting go of it. You may have a passion for reaching out to those involved in 9/11. My uncle was one of the first responders FDNY and I feel so honored to having him as my uncle! You know in your heart what you need to focus on. If this is your focus right now, just let it out! That is the best advice that I can give you! Get a diary and write your thoughts on it and EXACTLY how you feel, I garentee that you will look back on your entries and be glad and will be able to recap your feelings of these days and how you felt before then. My journals and diaries are some of my most valuable pieces of my personal history.