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How do I change my personal goal for Relay for Life?

I'm so bored with my life!!! How do I change it?

  • I hate my life! I'm so bored I could kill myself!! I'm not suicidal, but I am so sick of my life that I can't stand it, and something has just got to give. I am so sick of spending every Saturday and every beautiful Sunday in tears because there's nothing to do but rot in the house. I've been crying all morning, because I'm bored, and I'm literally in tears as I write this. I live in High Point, North Carolina; I've lived here for 15 years, and it's a hideous place and I'm so bored here that it's literally making me crazy. My whole life is work, and home. I'm either at my job or I'm locked up in the house. There's nothing to do here, there are no decent guys, there's nowhere to go, no excitement, no opportunities. NOTHING. I never have the money to do anything!! I would like to learn how to dance or take horseback riding lessons but I barely get paid enough to pay my bills. I feel like a zombie that goes to work, comes home, goes to work, comes home... there is no change in sight. It looks like my whole life is gonna be like this until I'm a hundred years old. I am so sick of hating my life and being so bored that I spend all my non-working hours in tears. I HATE going to the movies alone and I HATE going to stores and being tortured, looking at all the stuff I can't have. I want to DO something. I play the guitar and I've always loved it more than anything in the world, but I'm at the point where I get no joy from it anymore. I don't interact with other musicians, I don't play out anywhere or play in a band, I just sit in my little house and play scales and it's a dead end. I don't have any hobbies or fun things to do. I don't date, I don't go out. I don't have siblings in my life; my dad lives in another state and raarely initiates contact with me. I just got back from Spain a few months ago and I am head over heels in love with Spain. People accuse me of being ungrateful but I don't wanna be back. I just want to go back there forever. I can't bear being back in High Point. It's got to be the dullest town in the whole world (except for Raleigh which sucks just as much, if not more) and I don't wanna be trapped in this hideous place forever. Ever since I returned to the States, I've been so depressed because my heart is in Spain, that's oceans away, and I feel overwhelmed by the challenges and obstacles in ever getting back there. I just know I won't be happy anywhere else. I don't want another damn state. North Carolina sucks but I wouldn't be that much happier in a cow pasture in the midwest. The USA is so boring. I'm from Florida, and I hate my home state almost as much as I hate North Carolina. I want a LIFE! I would like to travel and see the world. I would like to have a hobby; learn to ride, for example. I would like to have a boyfriend and I would like to have music in my life. I don't have any joy, and I don't look forward to anything... I just dread going to work and I dread coming home. That's my whole life. I never go out, date, or feel or experience anything new. I feel like the guy in that movie Groundhog Day; I feel like some poor little dog on a damn choke chain (it's so cruel to chain a dog up). I want joy and I want a life. I can't stand to spend another damn Saturday morning in tears because I'm going to rot in the house. I'm the kind of person that needs action, that needs adventures and surprises. My life is hell right now. I'm so sick of it. I'm sick of rotting... one day I'll be old and dying and I don't wanna look back and realize that my one chance on this Earth passed me by forever.

  • Answer:

    hello sweet heart, im so sorry to hear how depressed and sorrowful u are, well all i can say is im a christian and the only person that i know without a doubt that can give u peace in your heart is jesus, now i dont know if you ever placed your trust in christ as your personal savior, but i would like to point you in the direction of christ..he love you dearly and he alone can lift the burden u have in your heart. im not perfect and of couarse noone in life will ever be but jesus can creat in u a new heart and give u a new mind, with peace and joy in him. if you are willing just go in private and ask jesus to forgive u of your sins and to come into your heart and be your lord and savior and to take control of your heart and life if you invite him in he will walk with you and give u eternal life in him if u only trust and believe in him...i really hope u will, may god open ur heart to receive his son jesus and to be reconciled to christ, but u have to ask and god will do it if u belive,,, i know because he did it 4 me, if i told u my life u would never belive how god brought me through,,,,god bless u and i hope things will get better 4 u

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Wow that is quite a post. Honestly, I think you have several issues- one is attitude, and the other is withdrawal from an amazing experience. On the latter, I spent a summer in Amsterdam and when I returned I had the same feelings as you. It seems like nobody can relate and nothing is as exciting anymore. However, this is truly in your head. We get the most joy out of life from our relationships with others, not from where we are living. Believe me, rural Minnesota is no picnic either, but I really enjoy my life because of the friendships I have built. It might seem like there are no good guys in High Point, but believe me, there ARE! You just have to put yourself out there and make friends: chat with the barista at your local coffee shop, ask someone from work out for drinks, ask to borrow eggs from your neighbor, go to a local sporting event and talk to the people next to you. It might be scary, but honestly, people are almost always happy to meet new people. Just be honest with people, tell them you don't know anybody in the area and you would like to meet some friends. More often than not, this will work. It might be awkward but it is worth it!

Paul Holston

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