My girlfriend of 5 years wants to get married... need advice.?

• I’m 29. My girlfriend is 25. We’ve been dating together for 5 years total and living together for about 4. She is amazing and has always been supportive of me. She’s super loyal and honest and she just loves me. She’ll come home from being at work and school all day and make me dinner–she’s like my own personal chef and I love it! She’s a great cook but she’s also great at so many other things. She’s in school and is a year away from her bachelor’s degree and then she wants to go on and get her Ph.d (she’s super smart). She’s probably the sweetest, most caring person I’ve ever been with also. But I don’t know what to do because she has really been pressing me to propose. She says that she has known how she feels about me since about the first year mark when we moved in together. She never pressured me to do anything and it was my idea for us to move in together. After about 3 years of dating she asked me about marriage. She wanted to know if I was or had thought about getting engaged. I told her I saw myself doing it one day, but I wasn’t sure when that was. She just started crying and I didn’t know what to do. She asked if I had any idea as to when I saw myself being ready and I told her I didn’t know–that I might die before I was ready (but I meant like I might die in a car accident tomorrow–she took it differently). She got all depressed after that and I knew she was going to leave me… so I started talking to this 19-year-old girl who was dating my friend at the time. I knew I shouldn’t have been doing what I was doing. But I think I wanted a fall-back for when my gf left. She finally left. She was in tears one night and asked me why I hadn’t tried to reach out and comfort her at all–and I told her it was because I didn’t know what I could do for her, that I wasn’t going to lie to her. She packed up and went to her parents. About 4 months after that I really started missing her and realized I made a HUGE mistake by not “going after her”. I wanted to kick myself for doing what I had with the other girl because that girl wasn’t work a d*mn. So I went to my gf on my knees, in tears and told her how sorry I was. I told her I wanted her to be my wife. And, true to the type of person she is, she forgave me. I told her I wanted to buy a house for us and I did. We’ve been living in it now since. It’s been a while since then. She confronted me about us still not being engaged last fall and I told her it was coming in the next 2 months. I did go to look at rings around Christmas but I just couldn’t buy one. Yesterday she confronted me again and asked me to be completely honest and I told her I still don’t know what I’ll be doing it. She wanted to know a date and I just don't have one. I don’t want to lose her, but I’m still not ready. She told me she is going to be looking into moving out. I feel like the biggest piece of cr*p in the world and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. She’s so good…. and I often feel like she’s too good for me. I don’t want her to leave, but I’m not ready to take that step with her yet. I feel rushed. I just don't understand why us being together and living in a house isn't enough for her. I guess I also feel like if she really loves me the way she says she does she'll wait for me. I treat the relationship like we're engaged already and I told her that. But she says she needs me to show her that I'm that commited. She says she doesn't care about a fancy ring or a fancy wedding--she wants a marital commitment. She keeps telling me she never asked for a house that all she wanted was for me to ask her to marry me. But I just can't. What is wrong with me?

• Answer:

  If you've lived together JUST LIKE MARRIED PEOPLE DO for the past 4 years, and if you've been sleeping in the same bed, peeing in the same toilet, going to the market, paying the bills, if you've committed to a mortgage on a home or a lease on an apartment ... ... if you're ready for all of THAT ... Then why AREN'T you ready for marriage? Sweetie ... seriously!! If you and her went down to the courthouse and got married tomorrow, N O T H I N G in your day to day lives would change. Frankly, you don't treat the relationship like you're engaged because you haven't given her a ring, and made her your wife. THAT is what commitment is. Anything else is a joke. What's wrong with you? I have a few ideas, but I'll tell you one thing for certain: You'd better figure it out, and marry her ... or cut her loose so that she can find a better guy, who can't wait to make her his forever and then have hot mad sex and lots of babies with her for the next 40+ years,. and spend all of those years in her arms, and trying to discover new ways to make her happy. If you're not that guy, then break up so that she can go find him. You owe her that, if it's not you. Dude, it's time to man up, and do the deed. Lookit ... you're ALREADY there - so what's the deal? THINK !!! NOTHING would change if you did it tomorrow - n o t h i n g!!! It's now or never, and she's right to want to move out if you don't know whether or not she's the one after 4 flippin' years. WTF is it gonna take, man?? So, are you gonna let some other guy spend the next 40+ years making her happy and having hot sex with her, or what?