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How to deal with a control freak?

How do I stope being a control freak?

  • It's driving my poor boyfriend crazy! He is on the verge of leaving me. We had a big blow-up yesterday and he told me that I'm not the same person I was when we met- that I've become a control freak. I argued with him because, well, I'm always right! Haha just kidding. He made me realize that I AM a control freak in every aspect of my life and I want to change. My question is, how? Where do I start? I pay so much attention to what he does with his free time, and need to know everything. I get really jealous when he hangs out with his friends. I don't let him clean, do laundry, cook, anything. I thought I did it out of love, but now that I think about it, I do it because I want it to be done right! It's actually caused him to be more lazy and just sit around all the time because he knows I'll get everything done! I don't know, if anyone has been through this before and has figured it out, I'd really appreciate some help. Help me save my relationship. I know he is THE ONE. Thank you

  • Answer:

    I have been considered a control freak my whole life. What I finally figured out was I was trying to control everything and everyone around me to make up for the fact I felt I had no control over myself. What did I do to stop? Well, I took a good long look at myself and came to accept that no, I am not perfect, no, I am not always right, no, I am not the only one who knows how to do things the right way. It's taken a long time but with a lot of work on my part, I have let go of those outside things that I can't control, have no business controlling and are not worth controlling. I feel much freer in mind and spirit. I know longer worry about what everyone else is doing. I only concern myself with me and my actions. I still need to stop myself sometimes, but it is getting easier. Relationships are easier, I am free to be who I am and people around me are free to be who they are. I am a much more likeable person now and my new sense of FREEDOM is such an amazing feeling. Start with some really deep soul searching.

Melissa♡ at Yahoo! Answers Visit the source

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you need a hobby

Always Right

You are okay, just need some minor adjustments. I strongly recommend the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Laura Schlessinger.

Asky Thompson

two pieces of advice: 1.) you cannot push a river, it just keeps flowing 2.) sometimes you need to pick up a broom and sweep for no other reason than you need to pick up a broom and sweep, you don't need a reason for everything

Izzy F

The easy answer is to stop doing all the things that you are doing. Think about what your responses are to him before you open your mouth. Let go of the household chores and be happy with how he does them.

Royalhinney

Well, now that you're conscious of it, you can stop yourself. When you get the urge to say something or take over, just walk out of the room, take a deep breath and busy yourself with something else. It's hard...I know but you have to give it your best try. I'm sure he's not the only one that you're bugging.

betrayed

You've made the first step - realizing you have a problem. Now you have to think within yourself to find the root of the problem, why is it that you feel so insecure if you have to give up control. The key though? KEEP TALKING about this, you're on the right track. Don't stop communicating with him!

yaktur

First you should move out and not live together until you are married. You feel out of control on the inside, that is why you desperately try to control everything outside of yourself. Get some counseling. You need God in your life, big time.

Sweet Suzy 777!

I was a major control freak. My husband left me for awhile and I didn't think we'd make it, but we did. I guess, unfortunately, actually losing is what made the difference for me. What helps now is that I am just so incredibly grateful to have him around, that those little things don't matter. In my mind I see him doing or saying something that I want a different way, but I just smile to myself and say, "It's not a big deal. Let him have that." and I do. Occasionally I'll intervene and insist on things a certain way, but I'll see that look of disappointment in his eyes and change my mind. It's not worth losing the man I love for some silly obsession that I can control. Good luck with it. It's hard to do, but it's more rewarding thatn controlling every moment of his day.

pinniethewooh

If you want to change any aspect of your character you have to do it bit by bit. Maybe ask him to help you clean or whatever, do it together rather than giving him free reign of the dust buster. I can get the same as you with wanting to know where he is all the time etc, it sounds like you have too much time on your hands, maybe you should start something for yourself, join an amateur dramatic company for example if you're into that kind of thing. Hobbies can take up as little or as much time as you like and will give you something to focus on other than your boyfriend.

Citygirl

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