Any advice please, I really don't know what to do x Husband wants me to have sex with another man/3some!?

• Please can anyone help me with this. It sounds such a stupid question but I really don't know what to do. I don't even know if I should be posting this type of question on here but I don't know what else to do and I don't have anyone who I can talk too about this. I love my husband so very much and have never, in 16 yrs, even considered or ever wanted anyone else. I admit I have kissed another man, when I was younger. I didn't do anything else with this other man, I was young and stupid and I admit I have not told my husband the full story about it. Even though I was young and stupid, It was about 8 yrs ago now and I know there is no excuse, it was a close friendship with an older man but never sexual. To this day I feel guilty and know if my husband found out I had even kissed him, he would go mad, well I would think something was wrong if he didn't go mad about it, even if it was along time ago. My husband alway says he loves me so why does he want to see me have sex with another man ie: a 3some? He say's its so i can enjoy myself, yet even though I would do anything for him, yes even that,if I really had too, I hate the idea! Like most couples, of course I want to try and do new things with my husband but I never thought that by marrying him, it meant having sex with other people. Am I wierd and frigid not to want to do this? My hubby says I have no imagination and maybe he's right. Of course I have fantacies but I want to try these with my hubby, no-one else. For about 10 yrs now, he has been on at me to try 3somes etc. saying he only wants to see me happy.Of course he wants to do things too. I just cannot get my head around this.I know some couples are into this but I just personaly cannot understand why he say's I would like it and he wants to do this for me, he has even said I'm only agreeing to it for him! If deep down he knows this, then why does he continue to go about it all the time and make contact with others with regard to it? When he say's that, I then have to lie and say, that I'm ok with it because I see the look of disapointment his face and it hurts me to know that I cannot please him. I could never make my father proud of me and know I will never be good enough for my husband either, even though I love him so very much and would do anything for him and never would I want to hurt him. Has anyone ever been in this situation? I will do anything to make my hubby happy and love me but I also know that if I do this it would make me really unhappy and feel so cheap! I try to please him but feel like I can't make him happy and never will, no matter what I do. As I said I only want to make him happy and know that men will do things anyway and if I do this then at least he won't call me friged and maybe love me more and then he will maybe not even think about having an affair. He never would, he say's and I rno reason to think he ever has. I'm really very confused. All advice welcome, its a little more complicated as I was abused badly as a child but even so, thankfully it has not put me of sex, well not with my husband but the thought of anyone else makes me feel really ill. Anyone who has been abused may understand what I mean about trusting my husband totally. Yes I love to experiment with him but just don't think i could cope with something like this.My hubby knows I was badly abused but not to the real extent and I really want to tell him all that happened to me as I do feel it would improve our relationship in many ways. I always thought we were very close but why i'm feeling so insecure, after all this time, I don't know if its because of other family problems iv'e been having or the fact that deep down I know this is what he wants and i'm so scared of losing him, that yes, I would do anything for him. I'm just too scared that if I tell him that I don't want to do this then he will find someone else to play around. My hubby has been violent in the past, he does have a bad temper and recently hit me badly with his belt because I said something so stupid, I didn't even realise that I had upset him. I know he didn't mean to hurt me and it was my own fault, I should know after all this time, not to push him too far, yet sometimes I'm stupid and don't realise that I upset him, when I'm actually only messing about. He always shouts at me and tells me i'm stupid, he always has done, so I should know by now not what to say to him or do , that pushes him too far. I know I can be stupid and act childish at times, so deserve what I get but this is different. I really don't think I could, having a 3some. I do feel sorry for my husband, he is really good to me, in so many ways, in fact he really is wonderful. I am very ill and have to take alot of medication for pain and he is also my carer. In fact he is everything to me. He is not just my husband, he is also my best friend,father figure I never had and alot more. I really do love him very much. I know he goes on dating sites using alias's. I

• Answer:

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